G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Also, I believe Night Viper is offiically #50!
And now, neither will I. That was fantastic. Really bad ass, scary stuff, then a solid laugh at the end to release the tension. This story is now my favorite Sci Fi thing ever
I'm just picturing Sci-Fi looking through his scope, turning to someone like Low-Light or Tunnel Rat or someone, like "these f*ckin guys... hey want to see something funny?" and blinding someone. Seymour Fine, science prankster.
 
Also, I believe Night Viper is offiically #50!
You are right.
I'm just picturing Sci-Fi looking through his scope, turning to someone like Low-Light or Tunnel Rat or someone, like "these f*ckin guys... hey want to see something funny?" and blinding someone. Seymour Fine, science prankster.
And right again. It was just so perfectly stated. Two simple yet hilarious words, I'm picturing delivered utterly deadpan. If I was Low-Light or Tunnel Rat or someone, I would be hyena-giggling so hard at that.
 
File Name: Hector Ramirez
Code Name: The Nuisance
Primary Specialty: Journalism
Secondary Specialty: Muckraking
Birthplace: New York City, New York
Rank: N/A

Subject was considered an asset during the Lewis campaign and a potential ally after the election, as his work as a journalist had often targeted the GI Joe Unit as an out of control danger to the American public. Lewis team members attempted to recruit Ramirez after the election, offering him inside "scoops" in return for favorable coverage. This plan, unfortunately, backfired, as the subject considered these overtures as "insulting" to his professional integrity and, in a series of broadcasts considered embarrassing low points in the Lewis administration's first 60 days, Ramirez "exposed" these conversations, citing that "you say off the record before the conversation starts." Fortunately, Lewis sympathizers were able to debunk much of Ramirez' coverage, disgracing the journalist and costing him his job with a major network. Unfortunately, he has proved... annoyingly persistent, and continues to work as an independent reporter and blogger. Lewis has requested if this may be a case where a Night Creeper contract may be worthwhile, but [Redacted] has noted that the disappearance of such a vocal anti-Lewis voice may raise suspicions even further. For now, we continue to work to discredit his work.

"This [expletive] guy. He was exhausting in the good old days and he's exhausting in the bad days now, but the irony is he found his ethics, and his spine, when Lewis tried to silence him. He drove us absolutely crazy before the team was disbanded. He's a rabble-rousing, muckraking, conniving opportunist who never found a conversation he couldn't weave himself into but credit where credit's due - he's laying into Lewis in ways the major networks are refusing to. We've got bets on when the first attempt on his life will be. Beachhead says it'll be Zartan with a bullet on the street in D.C., but my money is a quiet poisoning at his condo in Manhattan. Make it look like an accident and Lewis can cry crocodile tears for the death of his honored nemesis...”

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It's the late 70s / early 80s hair that sells it, and the smirk. He just has a punchable face. I tried some other Tony faces but this one was too good. The others were too classy.
 
Yeah, that is put just right. That old style yet kinda timeless hair and the punchable face. It really works
 
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I was a newspaper reporter for ten years. Even the worst journalist I worked with was adamant about how on and off the record works. (Would’ve been easy to make Hector a joke but I kinda love when a clown grows a spine and goes unexpectedly badass.)
 
Code Name: Claymore (Disavowed)
File Name: Zullo, John (No MI)
Primary Military Specialty: Anti-Terrorist Specialist
Secondary Military Specialty: Martial Arts
Birthplace: Manchester, Vermont
Rank: Captain (Allegedly)

Subject loudly accepted early retirement with the dissolution of the GI Joe Unit. However, it was soon discovered that the military has no file on Zullo. There is no evidence he has served in any military branch or qualifies for any pension. Lewis administration personnel dove deep into a decade of paperwork looking for any evidence of his work with the Joe team, the military, or the U.S. government in any capacity. At first it was assumed he was some sort of classified anomaly, like Snake Eyes, whose work is often redacted and kept classified as to be nigh unreadable. Upon further research, it appears Zullo is simply the result of some sort of paperwork error. At this time it is unclear if he never actually enlisted, or if his most basic paperwork was lost in a clerical error. As a precaution, the highest level of surveillance remains on him, though it may, in fact, be a waste of resources.

"You ever talk to this guy? Without corroboration, he's been everywhere and he knows everyone. He's trained with the Arashikage clan. He taught Quick Kick's sensei everything he knows. Jinx asked him to marry her and he said no, baby, he's not ready to settle down. General Flagg has him over for whiskey and cigars once a month. He's dated every supermodel in last year's Swimsuit Issue and can tell you what their sweat tastes like. He's been fishing on Admiral Keel-Haul's private yacht. Worked security at the White House, was a lone sniper in Sierra Gordo with 117 confirmed kills. He assassinated the ruler of Trucial Abysmia in a covert operation. None of us know exactly how much of it is a lie but we're guessing it's anywhere between 93 and 100%. But hilariously, Lewis and his administration don't know that! They've got this idiot under 24/7 surveillance like he's going to go full Steven Seagal on them at a moment's notice. None of us like him, but hey, if he can take the heat off the rest of us? We need all the help we can get, and the people who matter know he's all talk..."
 
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