G.I. Joe Classified Series: The Chatty Pointless Thread & Performance Art

I won't be fully satisfied with Classified until my hands are sore from posing a spike-covered Headhunter Stormtrooper!
 
vicious said:
I won't be fully satisfied with Classified until my hands are sore from posing a spike-covered Headhunter Stormtrooper!
Click to expand...
This is one of those designs that could become one of the absolute best Classifieds of all. I’m a cheerleader for the potential of a lot of the 90s figures/characters, but the Stormtrooper doesn’t even need a glow-up, just a grow-up to 6inch.
 
So I objectively adore this line, but one of the only complaints I have about it is how easy it is to lose the removeable clips, and I just had the stupidest moment with this. I was posing Shockwave, who struggles to hold those little twin uzis he comes with, right? And I give up and go to put the uzis back in his holsters and see I'm missing one of the magazines. I've mentioned my vision is falling apart, so imagine how much of a nightmare dropping a tiny black rectangle on the floor.

I spend ten minutes sweeping the floor, hunting between the desk and wall, the surface of my desk is BLACK so I'm screwed right?

The mazazine. Was in. HIS HAND. HIs grip is so tight that he grabbed the fucking magazine as I pulled the gun out of his hand, it stayed in his hand, and because my vision is shit I COULDN'T SEE IT.

Anyway, I found it before I bought a replacement gun off eBay, so at least I found it. I also need to get Shockwave different guns cos the ones he comes with just don't fit well...
 
I somehow lost Executioner's right alt hand today popping it out of the box! It clattered to the floor right around my feet and disappeared. I have been under the furniture, moved every single item in the radius - which is not that big - and that hand is absolutely nowhere. So I feel your frustration.
 
Ru1977 said:
You gotta admit that is such an 80s action movie move though.
Click to expand...
Oh it was both hilarious and infuriating. Holding it in his hand like "oh you were looking for THIS?"

I honestly love Shockwave but his uzis are some of the worst weapon designs in Classified, fat grips for hands that aren't big enough, but the hands will actually warp the grip if the magazine isn't in it. I'm gonna give him a thinner pistol, maybe with a silencer.
 
docsilence said:
It's funny, this thread is so busy I'm not keeping up in OTHER threads. I do feel bad if we're being too mouthy to give other people room to breathe though. (Same reason I feel bad posting often in the head canon thread, I don't like draining all the energy in the room by not shutting up.)
Click to expand...
The "mouthy" nature of this thread is what keeps me coming back!
docsilence said:
Honestly, a good version of him as Poe is the last sequel figure I really want or need. They just NEVER did him justice. (Boyega deserves a better one too but the Poe figures are offensively bad.)
Click to expand...
Seriously...I'm not a big fan of the Sequel Trilogy, but I DO like the characters. Poe is in desperate need of an upgraded figure, and Finn could do with a figure that actually looks like Boyega instead of Tracey Morgan.
docsilence said:
Mine are somewhere in a truck in my city right now and I'm watching the app like my dog watches cheese about to be dropped.
Click to expand...
:ROFLMAO:
docsilence said:
I remember someone who didn't migrate over here from the Fwoosh actually got pissed and policed us in the Joes thread there. Something about this thread leads us to get into absolute nonsense all the time.
Click to expand...
The nonsense is a welcome break from the shitshow that the world is today. Some people just don't like fun.
Ru1977 said:
And once again, when is that gonna be a Cobra agent?!
Click to expand...
Now I'm picturing a short, balding dude with a beard, puffing on a cigar. "Zartan, baby, have I got a role for you! It's an insurance ad, gonna be nationwide! You'll be on set with that Flo broad! This could be your big break, I'm telling ya"!
Schizm said:
I answered my own question:
WS2.jpg

It's pretty close, but it's just sitting on top because the hole is too small.

Yeah, I can make dirty jokes, too. ;)
Click to expand...
That actually looks pretty good! Actually kinda like this to be an unmasked comic Moon Knight!
docsilence said:
(Yes, I sent penetration in the Joes thread, roll with it)
Click to expand...
0daecf003feb1eefc9f1cc07da6726a560c762c1_hq.jpg

docsilence said:
Grim Viper was the figure in this wave I could take or leave but holy hell in hand he's great. My first thought is: so most Cobra soldiers are disaffected idiots, right? Like, they get talked into joining Cobra cos they're mad at the world and it pays well. But this MFer joined Cobra to HURT people. He's got "spent time as a mercenary in a warzone killing civilians" level scary/mean vibes, and I say that as a compliment to him as a villain. He makes the SAW Viper look like a Build-a-Bear.
Click to expand...
I'm definitely gonna cave on him, even though I have no attachment to the character. He just has that badass look that works for a villain, and he will look great on the shelf.
docsilence said:
So I objectively adore this line, but one of the only complaints I have about it is how easy it is to lose the removeable clips, and I just had the stupidest moment with this. I was posing Shockwave, who struggles to hold those little twin uzis he comes with, right? And I give up and go to put the uzis back in his holsters and see I'm missing one of the magazines. I've mentioned my vision is falling apart, so imagine how much of a nightmare dropping a tiny black rectangle on the floor.

I spend ten minutes sweeping the floor, hunting between the desk and wall, the surface of my desk is BLACK so I'm screwed right?

The mazazine. Was in. HIS HAND. HIs grip is so tight that he grabbed the fucking magazine as I pulled the gun out of his hand, it stayed in his hand, and because my vision is shit I COULDN'T SEE IT.

Anyway, I found it before I bought a replacement gun off eBay, so at least I found it. I also need to get Shockwave different guns cos the ones he comes with just don't fit well...
Click to expand...

Man...I SO feel your pain. My vision used to be amazing, but in my forties it started to decline. Now I'm in my fifties, and I have to use readers for even the most mundane of tasks. I spend WAY too much time looking on the floor for action figure accessories that fell...they seem to phase out of our reality altogether and go to that same mysterious dimension where all the missing socks go.
 
Ru1977 said:
I would give Hawk's shotgun to Shockwave. Shotty feels swatty.
Click to expand...
I thought of that, but I think Hawk's handle is too thick for Shockwave's grip, comfortably.

This is about his shotgun, get your mind out of the gutter.

(Just kidding. I'm already in the gutter with the other dick jokes.)
 
A Classified llama would be great. I’ll take any animals they make in the line. Theyre one of my favorite aspects of the line.

I still think the collar hint is for a giant poodle for a Cobra security guy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top