Ru1977
The Irishman
Heh... I kinda wish. I tried to get it on my employee badge at work but no dice damnit.
Official Articulated Thoughts Good News Thread
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akajomiha
Loves DDs
I love this, and I can relate. My 12 year old son and I both have Autism Spectrum Disorder- I'm always his go-to when he's feeling certain ways and has trouble expressing his feelings to my wife. One time after one of these little tete-a-tetes, he just looked at me sweetly and said "I'm glad I have you in my life - you understand me". My heart melted and I told him I feel the exact same way about him, and I wasn't just reciprocating. I never knew how much I was missing in life by not having someone that "got me".
Ru1977
The Irishman
Wow. I don't know if either of us are on the spectrum... I suspect he is, and wouldn't be surprised for me either, but yeah... I really sympathize with you on that. My relationship with my dad made me FREAK OUT when I learned he would be a boy, but I got okay with it by his birth, and it may not have mattered because my love for him was too intense either way. And as soon as he was here though, he was my best friend. After he turned one, my wife and I switched and I stayed at home for a year with him and it was just wonderful and really made our foundation solid. Then over the years... I won't say he's closer to me than my wife, but we have a lot more shorthand with each other, and I think there are certain things he has an easier time discussing with me. Which is wonderful because I can still talk to my mom about anything, and do, but I've never been able to talk to my dad about much.
But yeah, that is so incredibly sweet. I really feel that though. I never knew what I was missing with all three of my kids.
But yeah, that is so incredibly sweet. I really feel that though. I never knew what I was missing with all three of my kids.
joshsquash729
Born on the cob
A day in the life of Ru:
Ru1977
The Irishman
joshsquash729
Born on the cob
As a neurodivergent fella myself, who's really only come around to accepting said neurodivergence in the last couple years (and still, admittedly, struggling with it at times), you really can't put a price on having that comfort person who just "gets" you. I have a few in my life, who I feel I can really be myself around, flaws and all, and not feel annoying when I just talk about my nerdy interests incessantly, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm glad you and your son have each other! It sounds so silly and "of course not", but thank you for not trying to change yourself or him just to meet society's stupid standards. Feels like that should always be the case, but it hasn't always been that way.
akajomiha
Loves DDs
Very much had this same dynamic with both my son and wife, and me and my parents- was super close to my mom til the day she passed, but my dad, not so much.
Thank you for saying this. I'm 50 and wish I knew what ASD was a LOT sooner so I could have made sense of my feelings and the way I process things. In retrospect, everything makes so much sense. Being this old, I am also still hesitant to talk openly about it because it's still hard to wrap my head around how embracing so many people are of folks like us. I'm so thankful that has changed since I was younger.
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My daughter and I have almost identically-presenting AuDHD with its various accompanying considerations (justice intolerance, pathological demand avoidance, and opposition defiance disorder). I can see how hard it is sometimes for her and my wife to just co-exist because my wife (extremely well-intentioned and a devoted mother) struggles to see the things that are plain as day to me. I can defuse situations with a single off-hand remark that would, if I weren't there, turn into a 2 hour yelling match with both girls hating each other for 10 hours afterward.
It really cannot be overstated how valuable it is in a house with any neuro-divergent folks for there to be people that really understand one another. It truly can solve problems before they even begin, and even just having someone that 'gets it' in a way that a person can't just by having it explained to them can just... feel good sometimes.
It really cannot be overstated how valuable it is in a house with any neuro-divergent folks for there to be people that really understand one another. It truly can solve problems before they even begin, and even just having someone that 'gets it' in a way that a person can't just by having it explained to them can just... feel good sometimes.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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I reckon this qualifies for this thread - I took a year off from "keep writing these books, they make money" projects to write a deeply personal, angry, hopeful, punch up at the bastards if you can fantasy noir novel that might be a little too on the nose for the shit the world is going through right now, and I got to the final act this week. Decided I wasn't going to do anything for myself until I got it over the finish line and I just typed FIN and slapped a date on it.
There is no stranger sense of accomplishment than getting a story out of your skull and onto the page.
There is no stranger sense of accomplishment than getting a story out of your skull and onto the page.
joshsquash729
Born on the cob
Kudos to you, my friend! Been really trying to get back into writing my novel of late to try and get it published, but one thing or another keeps popping up and distracting me. I did finish a play recently, which had been eating away at me, and entered it into a few local contests, but that damn novel is my white whale. I think I have a notes app document with all my thoughts and things I want to add that's longer than the actual thing.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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At this point getting anything creative done is a miracle given that the world is on fire. I've known how it ends since I started it but had to get there, and once I saw the finish line I just swore I wouldn't do anything other than write in my free time til I got to the end. Wrote almost 20k words this week but it took the whole rest of the year to write the rest. (This was a project specifically to pitch to a new publisher so it was stressing me oouuuuut to get it finished.)Kudos to you, my friend! Been really trying to get back into writing my novel of late to try and get it published, but one thing or another keeps popping up and distracting me. I did finish a play recently, which had been eating away at me, and entered it into a few local contests, but that damn novel is my white whale. I think I have a notes app document with all my thoughts and things I want to add that's longer than the actual thing.
Also: there is 100% really a writer's hangover. I woke up this morning feeling like I'd purged every cell in my body over night.
Ru1977
The Irishman
I tend to sink into a little depression every time I finish a first draft, even though I know there's more work to do on it and I still have several ideas or a couple sequels already plotted out to jump on next.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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I tend to be a very precise plotter so by the end it's like a construction project, making sure I didn't leave out any bolts or screws. I get a sense of euphoria when I finish because I know it's ready for a cleanup vs. a heavy rewrite. I do have a sequel to a previous series I'm late on delivering because I needed to get this one done (in writing and writing only, i tend to be a uni-tasker, one project at a time) but that thing is already half-drafted so I'll get back to that next while I'm pitching this one. In a few days. When I no longer feel like I got run over by a bus.
Ru1977
The Irishman
That is exactly how I am. Like Josh, I have a massive document of notes for my series, then other documents of notes for the other novels I'm planning, but I get the notes in rigid order, and a lot of times the notes include full conversations ready to go, so when I actually write, I'm just cruising through those notes with fine tuning and sometimes fabricating a scene i hadn't conceived that is needed. But some of these ideas I've been plotting for literally years, especially my main series since I review the notes for the later ones every time I finish one.
Yeah, same. Definitely relief and part of me wants to take a break from writing for a week or something but usually ends up being just a day or two because I miss it so badly. But the depression comes from really enjoying the process, I think the second half of every book I fall more and more in love with the story and characters and actually have to force myself to not draw out the endings heh.
That is awesome. When I am actually in the chair, I am usually that way but sometimes I'll write something that triggers an idea for something else and I'll have to add that to the notes for it. But yeah, I think I've stopped partway through on three projects because of struggles, but I've reworked aspects of all three and plan to get to the first of those once I'm done with what I'm doing now, and I just hit my halfway mark (which kinda sucks because it means the book will be 120,000 words and I really try to keep under 100,000. I know it doesn't really matter in some ways but I feel in my case it's a discipline issue rather than letting myself get too self indulgent).
Fuck yeah. It's really satisfying to have a system that works for you.
I'm really interested to see what happens to me when I reach the end of my planned list. It's really likely I will have more ideas by then, but could I retire? Lewis Black talked about how his dad was a painter, then after so many paintings he stopped, feeling he had done everything he needed to. And I think about that a lot... Can I stop? Will there come a point where I continue writing despite having no ideas or things I'm passionate about expressing, just for its own sake? Because writing, for me, has always been a way to channel a lot of feelings and is firmly an anti-depressant for me. Or maybe I'm just be like "eh, nah I'm good. Gonna try being happy now."