G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

That would be great but also not sure what you have planned. I wouldn't be surprised if he was someone you had to really save for toward the end, or even never do.
 
Dial-Tone's commentary reads like a Bazooka, Clutch or Shipwreck type to me. I can even see Gung-Ho spouting off "chucklehead".
 
docsilence said:
And the Pear Store is just a lame Apple Store joke because I couldn't figure out how to make a Google Play joke. Was the Pear Store an iCarly joke?
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Yeah. Obviously they can't/wouldn't reference Apple or Apple products, so the joke on iCarly was that everything was Pear. Pear Store, PearPad, Pearphone, PearPod, Pearbook... and they replaced the Apple 'Genius Bar' with the 'Brilliance Bar.'
 
Code Name: Starduster (Disavowed)
File Name: Skylar, Edward J.
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry Transportable Air Recon
Secondary Military Specialty: Helicopter Assault
Birthplace: Burlingame, California
Rank: E-5

Subject is one of the few former GI Joe Unit members who remained on active duty after the team was disbanded. The Lewis administration offered Skylar a role in military marketing and public relations, which he begrudgingly accepted. "Starduster" now appears in TV commercials, live events, and recruitment efforts, including everything from cereal ads to acting as a guest host on various morning talk shows, where his charming demeanor and good looks bring in high ratings and woo very specific demographics. Of course, the administration maintains tight surveillance on Skylar - while he fulfills his role in the dog and pony show required of him, there are concerns about where his true loyalties lay.

"Unlike a certain sergeant who shall not be named, Startduster is putting his life on the line by staying in the service. His work as a PR dancing monkey gives him access to a surprising amount of intel about the Lewis administration's plans, its ability to recruit new troops, and the overall direction they plan on presenting to the country. Starduster has teamed up with Mainframe to feed us any information he can, but our ability to act on it has been limited - the minute Lewis know Starduster is a spy he's as good as dead. Of course that's why we're also sketching out a rescue mission to get him out of there should he get caught, but you know Starduster. 'Give me an open window and a jetpack and I'll be out of there,' he says."
 
Vypra's file card history is WILD, guys. Highly recommend reading how she's evolved over the years cos she might be the least consistently written side character in the whole line. Tried to lean into that here.

Code Name: Vypra
File Name: Unknown, aliases include Conda, Ann A.
Primary Military Specialty: Intelligence Courier
Secondary Military Specialty: Mercenary
Birthplace: Unknown; allegedly New Orleans, Louisiana
Rank: N/A

Subject is one of the few remaining mercenaries employed by Cobra that the Lewis administration still finds use for. Her primary role is as an intelligence courier, carrying off-the-books messages on behalf of Lewis himself, though she also takes on certain wet work gigs as the need arises. An impenetrable mystery who guards her true history jealously and even violently, Vypra remains a reliable, but infinitely deniable asset. She is currently on assignment in Los Angeles tracking the movements of the former Joe known as Jinx with orders to apprehend her if possible, but to put her down if necessary.

"Vypra's history is, frankly, unhinged. She joined up with Cobra claiming to be a street rat from New Orleans by the name of Ann A. Conda, where she became one of the mercenary company's best but most dangerous drivers. Later, she claimed to be a part of the Arashikage clan and has held her own in close combat with the leader of the Night Creepers, several of Snake Eyes' proteges, and even briefly Storm Shadow himself, though witnesses believed the ninja was holding back for reasons unknown. She might really be a member of an ancient ninja clan, or she might be a madwoman from the bayous of Louisiana, or she might be something else entirely. What I do know is: never turn your back on her. The one constant in all her tall tales is that she's not afraid to kill, and that much we can verify is true."
 
Overdue one:

Code Name: Wild Weasel
File Name: Classified
Primary Military Specialty: Ground Support Pilot
Secondary Military Specialty: Fixed Wing Pilot
Birthplace: Classified
Rank: N/A

The Lewis administration's statement on the legendary pilot known as Wild Weasel is simple: they know nothing about him, nor can they verify if he really exists. Rumors are circulating that he is active in conflicts in Sierra Gordo and Trucial Abysmia, but these are simply unconfirmed rumors based on the fevered reports of survivors. Unofficially, Wild Weasel has engaged in several key, targeted air strikes at the direct command of Lewis himself. Specifically, a commercial airliner carrying both a U.S. Senator and a three-star U.S. army general actively working against the Lewis administration crashed mysteriously in a corn field in Iowa, leaving no survivors. Additionally, a flight carrying leaders of the government of Punto del Mucosa who had been outspoken against Lewis lost radio contact and went missing over the Bass Strait Triangle. No bodies were recovered. Lewis is aware that plane crashes are a high-profile way to eliminate political enemies, but Wild Weasel is able to provide an assassin's touch, particularly when given access to top-of-the-line U.S. aircraft.

"The man is the fighter pilot equivalent of a cryptid, a story told over campfires about ghosts in the sky. Hell, if I hadn't gone up against him myself I might not believe he's real either. There is no one I'd want to see less on the other side of a firefight. That makes him a hell of a knife for Lewis to have in his boot. Angel of death on a pair of roaring jet engines, his fiery sword a 30 mm, seven-barreled nose-mounted anti-tank gun. I hope I get to shoot him out of the sky someday, but there'll be a kind of loss to the world when it happens, like killing an endangered bird of prey. 'Forgive your enemies their virtues' and all that, but sometimes you just gotta put a predator down before he wipes out your whole flock."
 
Not to take away from Starduster's abilities and heroism, but i kinda picture his Lewis-appointed minders just blabbing freely in front of him, or even to him directly, because that's how much the administration just doesn't care.

Great job with Vypra and you made her compellingly dangerous.

And fuck... I have always been a fan of Wild Weasel but goddamn, it feels like you REALLY explored his potential as a dangerous government asset for all its worth. Fuck yeah!
 
Ru1977 said:
Not to take away from Starduster's abilities and heroism, but i kinda picture his Lewis-appointed minders just blabbing freely in front of him, or even to him directly, because that's how much the administration just doesn't care.

Great job with Vypra and you made her compellingly dangerous.

And fuck... I have always been a fan of Wild Weasel but goddamn, it feels like you REALLY explored his potential as a dangerous government asset for all its worth. Fuck yeah!
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Starduster looks like the guy people complain about their wives or say racist things in front of because he just looks like a dude who would agree with him. He spends his entire time in this spy mission not being sneaky but perfecting his Sullivan Nod.

I thought I'd skip Vypra til I read her file cards and was like "they're just reusing a name, this CANNOT be one person."

I wasn't sure how to approach Wild Weasel because while he's iconic, his whole thing is flying airplanes. No political intrigue, no spy work. But what if he's the flying assassin?
 
12 from 100, can I do it by the weekend, will we go all the way...
(Any requests? I'm currently, order still to be determined, prioritizing Wild Bill, Zarana, Baroness, MAYBE CC himself, Serpentor, Torch, Ripper, and some combination of non-US agents like Big Ben and Quarrel, maybe Glenda? But in particular curious if you've got any generic vipers etc. you want to see in the first 100)
 
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