G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

[Ru1977]

That's not bad... Where the hell does Billy fit into all this?!

 

[docsilence]

Oh I gotta get Billy in there somehow. Also need to make a custom of him. Think a spare Law head on a Crimson Guard would work? (Wrong thread, I know)

 

[Ru1977]

Billy is tough for me just because which version do you go with?

 

[Damien]

'Give me an open window and a jetpack and I'll be out of there,' he says."

This got me thinking; Does the Joe team have an actual on-the-record ENGINEER? Like, the scientist guy that builds and designs all of their shit? Because I could totally see that guy working on a modern version of the Skyhook to be ready to grab 'Duster by dropping a radio-controlled drone jetpack in front of him at any moment.

Great stuff, as always. Weasel really feels menacing here. Vypra is just unhinged.

Not to take away from Starduster's abilities and heroism, but i kinda picture his Lewis-appointed minders just blabbing freely in front of him, or even to him directly, because that's how much the administration just doesn't care.

Yeah, I can see them looking at him either like kind of a handsome dummy jock type, or even maybe thinking he's just whitebread enough to maybe be getting into being part of the administration after all, and so being dumb enough themselves to just say stuff in front of him.

 

[docsilence]

Y'know, they have several combat engineers, and a few technologists, but as far as I can tell, zero actual inventors. Sounds like there's a need for an original inventor character on the Joes side (plenty of those on Cobra's side though.)

I'm really happy with how Wild Weasel came out but the idea for him came out of NOWHERE. Wasn't even on my radar before I sat down last night.

 

[docsilence]

Code Name: Wild Bill (Disavowed)
File Name: Hardy, William S.
Primary Military Specialty: Helicopter Pilot
Secondary Military Specialty: Fixed Wing Pilot/Helicopter Armorer
Birthplace: Brady, Texas
Rank: CW-4

Subject begrudgingly accepted early retirement upon disbandment of the GI Joe Unit. Where some of his peers voiced anger or belligerence, Hardy simply said "I'd hoped to keep flying these birds til the day I die," packed up his gear, and left. He has become something of a wanderer post-military; he travels the country taking odd jobs in the notoriously unstable field of civilian helicopter piloting, taking on stints as an aerial tour guide, search and rescue, Hollywood stunt piloting, and some firefighting support in California, but he rarely stays at any one role long, more because of the instability of the industry than the man's desire to leave. He has also built up a small following as a country western singer, styling himself more like the "outlaw" musicians of the late 1970s. His music career is not wildly successful, but appears to enable him to supplement his pension moderately. Due to his high rank and expertise as a pilot, he remains under surveillance but as of yet has not given reason for concern. If anything, he seems to be a tragic loner.

"In a way, Wild Bill is living the life he always wanted - the man's thought of himself as Highwayman since we first met him. But he's also one of us, and he's not just idly strumming that guitar. He uses his chopper work to build a network of pilots, mostly vets, using the twangy charm to keep the good name of the Joes alive. And he's touring the country with his guitar, which lets him act as a courier between cells of ex-Joes. Sure, the Lewis administration is watching him, but they can't possibly track everyone he shares a cold one with after a gig, and they aren't seeing coded messages written on cocktail napkins. He's getting antsy, though. I think Wild Bill has one last ride into the sunset in him, those rotors slicing through the air as he defies gravity ten thousand feed above the Earth, a couple of six-shooters on his hip and that stupid hat of his crushed down on his head..."

 

[docsilence]

#90 felt like it needed to be a key one.

Code Name: Zarana
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Espionage
Secondary Military Specialty: Infiltration
Birthplace: Unknown
Rank: N/A

There are few former Cobra associates whose whereabouts are more sought after by Rexford Lewis than Zarana. The Dreadnok officer, much like her brother, quite fully disappeared when Lewis made the decision to disavow the biker gang. While the rank and file members of the gang have remained easy to track if something of a nuisance, Zarana simply melted into the shadows and has not been seen since. Lewis is convinced that he made a mistake by cutting ties with the family of chameleons and that Zarana is, at this very moment, plotting some kind of revenge on him. The President personally interviews any housekeeping or kitchen staff to try to find Zarana in disguise, not even able to fully trust his most loyal guards to spot an imposter. While he fears Zartan more on a grander scale, Zarana's ability to create unease and anxiety in Lewis is unparalleled. However, when asked if he would like Zarana apprehended and terminated on sight, Lewis aggressively indicated he did not - his fears of reprisal should harm come to any member of their family has created an irrational phobia teetering on mania. Note to personnel: if at all possible, avoid any reference to the former Dreadnok leaders in front of the President.

"You know the funny thing? Zarana doesn't actually care. She's not out to get Lewis. She doesn't want revenge. Breaking ties with Cobra came at a truly strange moment of self-awareness bordering on an existential crisis for Zarana. She'd spent her entire life a match looking for a can of gasoline to throw herself at, but what happens when there's no more reason for arson? She was born to be an actor, not a menace. And maybe it's too late for that. But what she can do, now, is be anyone she wants to. Every day someone new, every hour a new face. Zarana might be Lewis's nightmare, but what really happened is he set her free. If her brother thinks he's some kind of trickster spirit, Zarana is from Fairyland, mercurial, colorful, strange, but in the end still dark and capable of great malice if provoked. It's best if he doesn't provoke her, because that mercurial nature means she can return to her old ways at the beat of a butterfly's wings. What's that? I sound like I'm in love with her? C'mon man. You know how that all went down. The past is the past. Doesn't mean I can't admire her."

 

[docsilence]

Code Name: Iron Grenadier
File Name: Various
Primary Military Specialty: Terrorism
Secondary Military Specialty: Sales and Marketing
Birthplace: Various
Rank: Viper Rank 3 equivalent

Only a handful of Iron Grenadiers are currently allowed to work freely in the United States, and those that do are to act strictly as personal guards for Destro and the Baroness. Destro's private army, for very good reason, makes President Rexford Lewis nervous, and in an attempt to assuage Lewis's fears, Destro voluntarily ordered most of his agents out of the country. They still act on behalf of Destro and MARS across the globe, in boardrooms and ballrooms in Europe, in war-torn battle zones in Trucial Abysmia and Sierra Gordo, brokering deals across Asia, Africa, and South America. Lewis knows he cannot impede Destro's ability to make money but they have a gentlemen's agreement that America is hands-off for MARS unless specifically sanctioned by the Lewis administration, an arrangement that remains very profitable even within its limitations. Though the Grenadiers are by nature anonymous, it is believed that Destro kept the very best of his men close, both for their business acumen and for their deadliness in combat. It it s believed that Lewis maintains the same level of surveillance on the Grenadiers as he maintains on lower-ranking former GI Joe members.

"Who are we kidding? Of course Destro has more Iron Grenadiers in the U.S. than his agreement with Lewis allows. Lewis also said he wouldn't spy on MARS and he is. These two men have never liked each other, and certainly never trusted each other. Their eternal game of chess will never be won or lost. Now, what these Iron Grenadiers are up to, that's a greater mystery. We have our best Crimson Guards keeping tabs on them, but, we are loathe to admit, the CeeGees and the Grenadiers are quite evenly matched. We may never know the length and breadth of their plans. The trick, we believe, is to ensure the arrangement remains mutually profitable and that neither side feels fully called out, or fully exposed. It is in Lewis's best interest to keep Destro an ally; and it is in Destro's best interest to not make an enemy of the most powerful man in the world."

"I would be a madman to fully trust anyone who would take on the mantle of Iron Grenadier. But I do trust them to act in their own best interests. And so I must always make sure their own best interests keep them well paid and deeply invested."

 

[Ru1977]

the notoriously unstable field of civilian helicopter piloting

I have no idea if this is rooted in truth but I love details like this. There is a whole bit in the movie Zero Effect where part of how he hits upon clues is the fact that at the time of the murder, full size mattresses weren't a thing yet, so the bed didn't come out as far as the one that was in the room at the time of his investigation, twenty something years later. Watching the director commentary I learned he completely fabricated that fact and it opened a massive door in my imagination, heh.

lets him act as a courier between cells of ex-Joes

Ah ha, yes, I knew he was up to something!

I think Wild Bill has one last ride into the sunset in him, those rotors slicing through the air as he defies gravity ten thousand feed above the Earth, a couple of six-shooters on his hip and that stupid hat of his crushed down on his head..."

Ah man that is beautiful, and it's gonna be amazing in the finale!

Lewis is convinced that he made a mistake by cutting ties with the family of chameleons

Uh, yeah.

While he fears Zartan more on a grander scale, Zarana's ability to create unease and anxiety in Lewis is unparalleled.

Beautiful.

his fears of reprisal should harm come to any member of their family has created an irrational phobia teetering on mania.

Ah man... he's gonna have to coordinate so everyone connected to the Dreadnoks is taking out at the same time.

Note to personnel: if at all possible, avoid any reference to the former Dreadnok leaders in front of the President.

Ha, awesome.

what she can do, now, is be anyone she wants to. Every day someone new, every hour a new face. Zarana might be Lewis's nightmare, but what really happened is he set her free.

This is really wonderful.

It's best if he doesn't provoke her, because that mercurial nature means she can return to her old ways at the beat of a butterfly's wings.

As is this.

sound like I'm in love with her?

Ah ha! Awesome way to reveal who was writing it.

Trucial Abysmia and Sierra Gordo

Lewis is gonna have to send in a team to kidnap their leaders. Benzheen as well I should think.

Their eternal game of chess will never be won or lost

Awesome. Really giving such a great romantic vibe to their antagonism.

We have our best Crimson Guards keeping tabs on them, but, we are loathe to admit, the CeeGees and the Grenadiers are quite evenly matched

What? Is this Tomax and Xamot?!

It is in Lewis's best interest to keep Destro an ally; and it is in Destro's best interest to not make an enemy of the most powerful man in the world.

Beautiful. Again, neither can really win or lose...

Awesome on all three. As I said last night, you are just sprinting toward 100!

 

[docsilence]

I did go a little poetic on these ones, huh. I actually researched what ex-military helicopter pilots do for work and apparently the industry really is both underpaid and hard to sustain, too many low-hours pilots and not enough jobs. The ones that are stable suck, like medivac. But Bill wouldn't want to be on the ground full-time.

Yeah, snuck in the old Mainframe/Zarana romance from the cartoon! What can I say, tough old nerd falling in love with a badass rockabilly killer, tale as old as time.

And yes, it's the twins commenting on the IG - I wanted a way to reveal that the twins have their secrets, too, and may not be all that loyal to Lewis.

Lewis is gonna have to send in a team to kidnap their leaders. Benzheen as well I should think.

Too real, right?

 

[Ru1977]

I did go a little poetic on these ones, huh.

I guess so, but not in a bad way.

I actually researched what ex-military helicopter pilots do for work and apparently the industry really is both underpaid and hard to sustain, too many low-hours pilots and not enough jobs. The ones that are stable suck, like medivac. But Bill wouldn't want to be on the ground full-time.

Awesome on the research, bummer on the facts. And agreed about Bill not wanting to be on the ground.

Yeah, snuck in the old Mainframe/Zarana romance from the cartoon! What can I say, tough old nerd falling in love with a badass rockabilly killer, tale as old as time.

Yes, and I'm so glad you did. Especially now that we know he's a short king who climbed his lady like a tree.

And yes, it's the twins commenting on the IG -

Ah ha, awesome! I picture them typing on a narrow love seat, Tomax's right hand and Xamot's left, but not speaking out loud as they still hit 65 wpm.

I wanted a way to reveal that the twins have their secrets, too, and may not be all that loyal to Lewis.

Rightfully so. Always true to form for Cobras to have their own agendas, even when going 'legit'. Why this translates so well.

Too real, right?

For real.

 

[Chooch555]

I kind of think Lewis should be the last card that wraps the story when the real life inspiration either dies or leaves office a different way.

 

[Ru1977]

I kind of think Lewis should be the last card that wraps the story when the real life inspiration either dies or leaves office a different way.

I don't disagree.

 

[docsilence]

I kind of think Lewis should be the last card that wraps the story when the real life inspiration either dies or leaves office a different way.

I've been thinking the same thing. Though it'd be fun to write him up. The monster.

 

[Ru1977]

If you do one for the battle armor CC, would that be Fred VII?