G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

I saw one thing speculating Zartan may have been French, but I wonder how much of what is known about him in the world of GI Joe is things he just wants people to believe.
If I were French I would also adopt an entire persona around changing my appearance, accent, and entire personality.
 
As promised:

Code Name: Zartan
File Name: Unknown; more aliases than can be confirmed
Primary Military Specialty: Infiltration
Secondary Military Specialty: Espionage
Birthplace: Unknown, rumored to be Nice, France
Rank: N/A

Upon assuming office, Rexford Lewis cut ties with the most dangerous, chaotic, or criminal elements of Cobra that could not be relegated to the command of Major Bludd offshore. The Dreadnoks were the first he abandoned, fearing their brand of anarchy would be traced back to him and reflect poorly upon his administration. This was not a bad choice logically, but the unintended consequence was that Zartan himself took it as a personal insult and followed his own men out the door. Lewis had hoped to retain Zartan's services as an assassin and master of disguise, but Zartan, in a final conversation, noted that he had never intended to work with the establishment, and Lewis, in his victory, had become the very face of establishment. "I will not call us enemies, but where you go I will not tread," he told Lewis in their last conversation. Lewis immediately put his best surveillance teams on Zartan, fearing reprisals, but he might as well have told them to follow dust on the wind; Zartan, true to his reputation, has proved impossible to track. He has, it is believed, allowed himself to be spotted dining with Marvin Hinton at his restaurant; performing at Gung-HO, Baby in drag; sitting in on lectures by Dashiell Faireborn at Oxford; but also playing cards with Copperhead, and sitting in on a meeting of the Children of the Serpent sect. Lewis has issued an order that should it be possible without raising suspicions, Zartan is to be put down, but only if this would not blow back on the administration.

"There are as many stories about where Zartan comes from as there are identities he's masqueraded as. A street urchin who took his name from a movie poster. The child of a French ingenue and an abusive, movie-mask crafter father. The brilliant but reckless student at École Spéciale Militaire de Saint-Cyr, charged with treason and sent to rot in prison. The swamp rat pirate king who raised a band of anarchist bikers into an international fighting force. The survivor of biological experimentation by the French government to create covert operatives using the DNA of chameleons. Maybe all of it is true, maybe none of it is true, but Zartan wants you to believe any part of it that speaks to you. He wants to be everything and nothing all at once. Spirit once said he thinks the old trickster spirits walk alongside Zartan, and that those spirits could be heroes or villains depending on the needs of the story they are in. I'm sure Zartan himself wants that to be true. What we do know is that he is chaos incarnate, existing in a world of blue and orange when reality wants us to see everything in black and white. He is loyal to his family, and by extension, to the Dreadnoks who follow him, and very little else. Perhaps the stupidest thing Lewis did was reject Zartan as an ally. He set the devil loose in the world to make it his playground."
 
Probably my new favorite. It has soooooo much, and I love all the callbacks to the other cards. Really sets up so much for the character, but also can't wait to see how that new sect comes into play.
 
These cards are SO iterative. Like I didn't INTEND to introduce Serpentor via Zartan but as I was writing up his card I was like 'but if...."
 
I was actually wondering if that's the first time we've heard of Children of the Serpent. I felt like it was, but I also wasn't sure enough to say it and didn't have time to go look over all the previous bios to double check before saying anything.
 
Yeah, first appearance here - I've been a little dodgy about if Serpentor is in this timeline or not.
 
I mean, we already have obviously hyper-tech and supernatural elements so Serpentor isn't exactly any weirder than what's already going on.
 
But if you hadn't already planned it out; I kind of love the idea of Serpentor being (in a non-racist way, though) kind of like those ladies that are like 'You guys will never believe this but I totally found out that actually I am distantly related to a Native American princess, so I can't actually be racist.'

Like, instead of Serpy being actually created from ancient general DNA he's just a weirdo that's like 'I can trace my lineage directly back to Charlemagne.' (Which, true story, Christopher Lee actually could and he wrote two metal albums about it.)
 
That is definitely a good way to go about it. Not only can he trace back to all these tyrants, but he also is clearly their heir. So give me half your shit!
 
I also dig the idea of him going to different countries and just claiming to be descended from whoever the local folk hero or important person is. Like he turns up in Romania like "I'm actually distantly related to Vlad III Dracula, so I'm just gonna live in this castle over here and if you want me to save you from foreigners like he did, you know where to find me with tribute."
 
There's temptation to go in so many different directions with him. Is he a genetic experiment? Is he just some dude Mindbender CONVINCED is an experiment? He there a supernatural element to him? Does Dracula exist in this timeline and resent some meathead claiming to be him?
 
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