G.I. Joe Classified Series: The Chatty Pointless Thread & Performance Art

NORM said:
That boob window to clarify ethnicity is a much better reason than blatant sexuality that I assumed it was for.
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At first I was like “huh, it’s odd for them to *add* bare skin, they usually subtract a bit” and then it dawned on me that they probably *also* didn’t want to offer a non-ethnic “option” for one of the first major non-white female characters in Joe.
 
AceofKnaves said:
I will say that it does suck that the upcoming *actual* Joe arctic Trooper is locked in a three-pack with recolored Cobras. I like Arctic SAW-Viper and Drift-Viper, but I’d have army-built the Steel Corps.
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To be fair, I don't think missing out is a huge loss because the 'arctic' Joe in that set is really the least arctic-looking figure so far within that theme. It's just like... a grey and white repaint. Paint the helmet and boots bright silver and call him 'Cyber Force' and you wouldn't blink an eye.
 
All right. I need to dig in and drop a bit of a review for the latest wave.

Spoilers: it’s the best Classified wave ever, just in terms of cool toys being cool. No big names (not counting the name “Snake-Eyes” being on a package), no super-consequential characters (unless you really like DIC, come on in this thread we know you do), and yet . . .

OK so Dawn Moreno. She’s great. Don’t care about her backstory, DO care that she is a well-engineered and very awesome mostly-all-new lady ninja commando who looks like Riverdale-era Camila Mendez without her mask on. Swords and scabbard obviously “should have” come with v4 Snake-Eyes. Solid figure, needed a black wash on the visor though.

Airtight will cause some controversy, because his helmet is very fiddly to get right with his eyes. He’s a great figure who would have been the standout in another wave, and is no less cool for being overshadowed by some of the best figures in the entire line with this wave. Great classic loadout, and he looks *worried*, like he saw the render of the Toxo-Vipers and went “dammit, those zombie bastards are about to swarm me!” Good thing he has a hilariously intimidating handgun to go with his HAZMAT rig.

And now things REALLY get interesting.

So Sundown is NOT a cowboy, at least not in the sense that v1 Storm Shadow is a “pop-culture ninja guy” or v1 Shipwreck is a “stereotypical sailor”. Naw, Sundown leans HARD into the “tactical” side of “tactical cowboy” (I can’t believe I just typed “tactical cowboy”, happy fucking birthday America and thank goodness this guy is Mexican): there is no making him “just” a cowboy. No no no. He’s the guy who starts out chasing Vin Diesel in an unmade film from 2004 before teaming up with him against the REAL bad guy (Headman??). This dude has so much vibrant machismo that I could smell leather, knife-oil, and habanero peppers when I opened the box, and I mean all that as a compliment. This dude has PERSONALITY, and he is ALL JOE. He fits right in with the “flavor of a fun pop culture archetype, but keep it ARAH” attitude of your favorite 80s “village people” Joes, but with a 21st century twist.

HYDRO-VIPER, aka DEMONS OF THE DEEP. Hot damn. OK so this is a deluxe figure. Open it up, take the back tray out and set it next to the front tray: it’s a deluxe or even “with pet” loadout. He’s fucking creepy as hell. He looks wet. So much new sculpting, both heads are amazing in their own way but look closely folks: THAT IS NOT A HELMET. That is a fully-transformed Lovecraftian abomination with a rebreather. The hands!! The horrible organic flippers (which I think are just the feet, man, if that helmet-that-is-not-a-helmet is on, jeeezus Mindbender what the hell did you doooooo)!! The oddly cute Manta Ray!! The bespoke knife and spear-pistol!! Just . . . everything. They are even creepy skinny. Eeew. I’ll bet they smell like old fish tanks.

And now:
OVERKILL.
I gushed already over in the “favorite Classified” thread. He’s . . . magnificent, and it’s absolutely insane they put this gigantic, all-new, bizarre monstrosity on a single card in a regular wave. I seriously am blown away. It’s so . . . BOLD. Just unapologetic neon-gold madness in figure form, like some fever dream of a T2: Future War variant toy (that underslung mega-blaster is a “phased plasma rifle in da 40 watt range” and no one will convince me otherwise) melded with the Lawnmower Man and tossed on a hyper color spin-art wheel. Face mask doesn’t really stay on well, falls off easily; the claw is kind of fiddly and feels fragile at the articulation. Other than that: wow, man. Just wow. They kept the butterfly joints AND made the hinged chest with the drop-down double-barreled blaster AND IT CAN EVEN USE BLAST EFFECTS.

This wave is just fantastic, Overkill is absolutely the line functioning at its very very VERY best (I’m SHOCKED he’s not some $55 exclusive), but they are all just creative and fun and exciting toys. I really hope this momentum keeps up and they keep balancing classic with new and also with WEIRD. The weird is really where this line is truly great. It’s got *soul*. I love it.
 
AceofKnaves said:
All right. I need to dig in and drop a bit of a review for the latest wave.

Spoilers: it’s the best Classified wave ever, just in terms of cool toys being cool. No big names (not counting the name “Snake-Eyes” being on a package), no super-consequential characters (unless you really like DIC, come on in this thread we know you do), and yet . . .

OK so Dawn Moreno. She’s great. Don’t care about her backstory, DO care that she is a well-engineered and very awesome mostly-all-new lady ninja commando who looks like Riverdale-era Camila Mendez without her mask on. Swords and scabbard obviously “should have” come with v4 Snake-Eyes. Solid figure, needed a black wash on the visor though.

Airtight will cause some controversy, because his helmet is very fiddly to get right with his eyes. He’s a great figure who would have been the standout in another wave, and is no less cool for being overshadowed by some of the best figures in the entire line with this wave. Great classic loadout, and he looks *worried*, like he saw the render of the Toxo-Vipers and went “dammit, those zombie bastards are about to swarm me!” Good thing he has a hilariously intimidating handgun to go with his HAZMAT rig.

And now things REALLY get interesting.

So Sundown is NOT a cowboy, at least not in the sense that v1 Storm Shadow is a “pop-culture ninja guy” or v1 Shipwreck is a “stereotypical sailor”. Naw, Sundown leans HARD into the “tactical” side of “tactical cowboy” (I can’t believe I just typed “tactical cowboy”, happy fucking birthday America and thank goodness this guy is Mexican): there is no making him “just” a cowboy. No no no. He’s the guy who starts out chasing Vin Diesel in an unmade film from 2004 before teaming up with him against the REAL bad guy (Headman??). This dude has so much vibrant machismo that I could smell leather, knife-oil, and habanero peppers when I opened the box, and I mean all that as a compliment. This dude has PERSONALITY, and he is ALL JOE. He fits right in with the “flavor of a fun pop culture archetype, but keep it ARAH” attitude of your favorite 80s “village people” Joes, but with a 21st century twist.

HYDRO-VIPER, aka DEMONS OF THE DEEP. Hot damn. OK so this is a deluxe figure. Open it up, take the back tray out and set it next to the front tray: it’s a deluxe or even “with pet” loadout. He’s fucking creepy as hell. He looks wet. So much new sculpting, both heads are amazing in their own way but look closely folks: THAT IS NOT A HELMET. That is a fully-transformed Lovecraftian abomination with a rebreather. The hands!! The horrible organic flippers (which I think are just the feet, man, if that helmet-that-is-not-a-helmet is on, jeeezus Mindbender what the hell did you doooooo)!! The oddly cute Manta Ray!! The bespoke knife and spear-pistol!! Just . . . everything. They are even creepy skinny. Eeew. I’ll bet they smell like old fish tanks.

And now:
OVERKILL.
I gushed already over in the “favorite Classified” thread. He’s . . . magnificent, and it’s absolutely insane they put this gigantic, all-new, bizarre monstrosity on a single card in a regular wave. I seriously am blown away. It’s so . . . BOLD. Just unapologetic neon-gold madness in figure form, like some fever dream of a T2: Future War variant toy (that underslung mega-blaster is a “phased plasma rifle in da 40 watt range” and no one will convince me otherwise) melded with the Lawnmower Man and tossed on a hyper color spin-art wheel. Face mask doesn’t really stay on well, falls off easily; the claw is kind of fiddly and feels fragile at the articulation. Other than that: wow, man. Just wow. They kept the butterfly joints AND made the hinged chest with the drop-down double-barreled blaster AND IT CAN EVEN USE BLAST EFFECTS.

This wave is just fantastic, Overkill is absolutely the line functioning at its very very VERY best (I’m SHOCKED he’s not some $55 exclusive), but they are all just creative and fun and exciting toys. I really hope this momentum keeps up and they keep balancing classic with new and also with WEIRD. The weird is really where this line is truly great. It’s got *soul*. I love it.
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Way to get me refreshing my Pulse order every five minutes for this wave. (I was already refreshing it every ten minutes before your review but now I'm just like HURRY UP HASBRO.)
 
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