G.I. Joe Classified - News & Updates

[altcunningham]

Hey Alt, any particular figures other than Storm Shadow giving you trouble you'd point out? It's funny, this summer it was so hot here all my stuck joint problems went away, even my VIPERS no longer had stuck hips, but then it's been so cold that even in a pretty temperature-controlled location in the house a lot of the problem figures regressed.

Was:

OG Stalker
retro Stalker (?!)
OG Storm Shadow
OG Destro
Croc Master
NightForce Falcon
OG Bludd
Kamakura
Shipwreck (legs only)

Those were the worst offenders. I don't have OG Vipers or Troopers any more.

Storm Shadow and Stalker was the scariest one, hip and knee wise.

 

[altcunningham]

Oh, OG Breaker and Zartan.

 

[docsilence]

I feel like swords are your "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" number one trigger.

I have a friend who writes military history. He's good at it. He loves it. But there's a subset of readers the publishing world calls "rivet counters" who suck the joy out of writing for him because they bitch about ANY little detail ANY author gets wrong. My friend says he loves writing, but he kind of sometimes hates the type of person who reads his books. He switched over to vaguely slutty sword and sandal fiction for a bit and it was good for his mental health.

OG Stalker
retro Stalker (?!)
OG Storm Shadow
OG Destro
Croc Master
NightForce Falcon
OG Bludd
Kamakura
Shipwreck (legs only)

Hm. I definitely had bad luck with OG Stalker (but didn't with the retro card, no idea how that works). OG Storm Shadow and OG Destro were nightmares. I ended up buying a Destro from a reseller who had worked the kinks out of him and that became my go-to Destro--out of the box he was horrendous with the hip thing.. Kamakura'a knees super stiff for me, and I had some kind of issue with Shipwreck but was able to fix him myself. I straight up have no memory how I fixed it but he's okay now, but I def had problems with his legs.

OG Storm Shadow I spent like DAYS getting to work right. He's good now, but I will never put him back in storage because I'm afraid if I turn my back on him he'll regress.

 

[altcunningham]

Retro is just his knees, but I got them working.

I didn't trust the hips on Shadow and OG Stalker.

I never got my hands on the Retro SS. Did you? Maybe he's better. I'm bummed because of all the keepers you got to keep him. Might put some of my earnings towards that retro if he doesn't have issues.

It's funny because I know there was the ratchet issue with the hips early on, but here we are.

Now I know!

Random thought: I never realized the timber snake eyes and then the Retro had different heads. This entire time I thought it was the same head and I only just today noticed the goggles and mouthpiece.

 

[RichardSimmonsRobot]

During the gun shopping sprees in the John Wick movies all I hear is:
"Ah, the mega-dick 3000, an excellent choice, Mr. Wick. Made with the finest gunmanium, this clickety banger holds seventeen rounds of armor piercing titanium coated jizzbangs, perfect for the discerning client."

Ironically in those scenes, particularly the 2nd film, the concierge is basically handing him pretty standard firearms that you can get at any gun store, they're just "modified" for the discerning gentleman ie: cutting a notch of metal out of the barrel shroud/slide on a handgun so it's slightly less heavy. Then he hands him an Italian version of a $600 shotgun and acts like it's a wine tasting. Granted it's a $2500 dollar Italian shotgun, but they're IN Italy so it'd be notably less, plus it's like acting as if owning a Rolls Royce makes you a better driver. The movies are fun, but I prefer not to hear how much better a gold plated custom trampoline is going to make someone bounce.

 

[Damien]

I feel like swords are your "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" number one trigger.

Let's say I have very strong opinions about swords. And yeah, for whatever reason, certain things sword-related can get under my skin very quickly. But I recognize that and I usually preface my insano rants with 'I know this only bothers me but...'

I have a friend who writes military history. He's good at it. He loves it. But there's a subset of readers the publishing world calls "rivet counters" who suck the joy out of writing for him because they bitch about ANY little detail ANY author gets wrong. My friend says he loves writing, but he kind of sometimes hates the type of person who reads his books. He switched over to vaguely slutty sword and sandal fiction for a bit and it was good for his mental health.

I am fortunate to have never become such a person. Like, I love Bernard Cornwell and I just let it go that he describes seaxes as mail-piercing mini lightsabers -specifically- designed for fighting in shield walls (they are none of these things, as we've previously discussed). But it is what it is. Writing him angry letters about it isn't going to change the books, and the books aren't -bad- because he gets the physics of certain weapons wrong.

So, I think my tolerance for that kind of thing can almost be erratic. Some stuff I can easily just let go (even if it makes my jaw clench every time) and some stuff will send a book or DVD or action figure out a window.

 

[Prophet924]

The Dino has a helmet? Of course it does! Ha.

Thwipp!

 

[docsilence]

I DIDN'T NOTICE THE DINO HELMET. This figure gets better and better every time I look at it.

He's Cobra branded, like he's from LL Bean!

Ironically in those scenes, particularly the 2nd film, the concierge is basically handing him pretty standard firearms that you can get at any gun store, they're just "modified" for the discerning gentleman ie: cutting a notch of metal out of the barrel shroud/slide on a handgun so it's slightly less heavy. Then he hands him an Italian version of a $600 shotgun and acts like it's a wine tasting. Granted it's a $2500 dollar Italian shotgun, but they're IN Italy so it'd be notably less, plus it's like acting as if owning a Rolls Royce makes you a better driver. The movies are fun, but I prefer not to hear how much better a gold plated custom trampoline is going to make someone bounce.

In all honesty, the only realism I need from those movies is how accurate "someone killed my dog and I will kill every human being who gets in my way to avenge said dog" is as a plot point. Everything after that is just frosting. Most realistic crash out in cinematic history.

I am fortunate to have never become such a person. Like, I love Bernard Cornwell and I just let it go that he describes seaxes as mail-piercing mini lightsabers -specifically- designed for fighting in shield walls (they are none of these things, as we've previously discussed). But it is what it is. Writing him angry letters about it isn't going to change the books, and the books aren't -bad- because he gets the physics of certain weapons wrong.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before or just thought I did but I bought a seax at a ren faire this summer because I was reading those Gwynne books and I was day drunk, and it is literally the only bladed weapon I have ever bought I just straight up do not like. I resent that fucking knife on a daily basis. It's also heavy as fuck for no reason.

 

[Damien]

I don't know if I've mentioned this before or just thought I did but I bought a seax at a ren faire this summer because I was reading those Gwynne books and I was day drunk, and it is literally the only bladed weapon I have ever bought I just straight up do not like. I resent that fucking knife on a daily basis. It's also heavy as fuck for no reason.

Lol... yes, that's actually what got us on the topic, I believe, of all the historical fiction/fantasy writers not knowing what the fuck a seax ACTUALLY is or what it's for. And then we talked about how yours has a bolster, which is 100% ahistoric and makes me kind of angry to know about.

 

[Fletch]

Paleo-Viper

I was on the fence about a dinosaur wrangler until you posted that name. That's the best Viper name I have ever heard, so now I'm getting one. Rewards where due, right?

New character is named Sundown and he is a bounty hunter looking for his brother who has been kidnapped by Headman

Holdup. "Sundown" is the name of the Texas Ranger in the C.O.P.S. line. A line famous for having one of Beachhead's descendants in it. If his filecard shows his name is 'Walker Calhoun,' I think we've opened an unexpected door.

UK Special Forces definitely do. And this is 'Action Soldier,' so maybe not intended to be EXPRESSLY American?

I'm not sure if this was exactly your point, but I hadn't caught on it was specifically called 'Action Soldier' like the original (original) Palitoy line. I know that name was also used in the 60th Anniversary subline, but in context, is this intended as an anniversary figure for the Action Man line?

 

[Prophet924]

Just watched the Full Force recap. The new character could have been called Mountain Heart. Hasbro loves keeping those IPs in house. Wait is Care Bears Hasbro? Same thing as My Little Pony I think so yes Hasbro. Sundown sounds better.

Thwipp!

 

[docsilence]

I know it's not the intent but I don't love Sundown as a name because it evokes the term "sundown towns," especially if he's a bounty hunter. I legit love everything about the character design though.

Lol... yes, that's actually what got us on the topic, I believe, of all the historical fiction/fantasy writers not knowing what the fuck a seax ACTUALLY is or what it's for. And then we talked about how yours has a bolster, which is 100% ahistoric and makes me kind of angry to know about.

I was actually wondering if you knew and had a visceral reaction to the new Savage Crucible barbarian coming with a seax too. (It's less goofy than mine). The only saving grace of my day drinking weapon buying is I also picked up what I guess is just a "practical"/"utility" dagger from the same guy and it's the best I own.

 

[Ru1977]

New thread intended to be used strictly for news, convention panel coverage, Hasbro announcements, etc. the stripped down, no chitchat thread, and minimal dicks.

Here's the list of what is coming for 2026. I'll update as we learn which figures are what:

Standard waves:
G2272 - Tyrannis - LIFELINE
G2273 - Razor - NIGHT-VIPER
G2274 - Callie - HIT & RUN
G2276 - LT Steele - BIG LOB
G2277 - LT Felina - MOLE RAT 2

G2278 - The Enforcer - DAWN MORENO
G2279 - Dark Kat - AIRTIGHT
G2280 - Dr Viper - HYDRO-VIPER
G2281 - Shlub - OVERKILL
G2282 - Pastmaster - NOT WILD BILL aka SUNDOWN

G2275 - CMDR Feral
G2283 - Hippocampus - ICEBERG
G2286 - Dr Street
G2288 - Professor
G2289 - Stupendous

Misc:
G2284 - Deliria
G2285 - Turmoil
G2287 - Randall

Mainline Deluxe:
G2042 - Legacy Cow - LEGACY SPECIAL FORCES
G2044 - Legacy Hank
G2102 - BB Rudy DLX - COBRA-LA ROYAL GUARD
G2116 - BB Bob Pet - PROF. ROTTCLAW W/DINO
G2025 - Tina DLX - DEEP SIX
G2023 - Linda Pet
G2085 - Louise VS 2-PK - ATV VS. STEALTH POD

HASLAB:
G2043 - Gleep (Pulse) - HASLAB SNOWCAT

Made To Order:
G3290 - Her Endy (P) ARCTIC ASSAULT HISS W/DRIVER

Retro:
G2290 - Retro DL Dexter - FEMALE CRIMSON GUARD
G2291 - Retro DL Dee Dee - CRAZYLEGS
G2292 - Retro DL Mandark - ZAP
G2293 - Retro DL Mom - WILD BILL
G2294 - Retro DL Dad
G2295 - Retro DL Miss Spell
G2296 - Retro DL Major Glory
G2297 - Retro DL Krunk
G2298 - Retro DL Valhallen

Target Exclusives:
G2045 - MD Droopy (Target) - NINJA FORCE ZARTAN
G2046 - MD Driffle 2-Pack (Target) - T'JBANG/?
G2047 - MD Vavoom 2-Pack (Target)

Walmart Exclusives:
G2048 - JJ Jana (Walmart) - NIGHTCREEPER (D.I.R.E.)
G2049 - JJ Montaro (Walmart)
G2050 - JJ Ghost (Walmart)

Fan Channel/Amazon/Pulse/NYCC Exclusives:
G2051 - JQ Jonny (Fan Channel) -TAURUS/RED DOG
G2052 - JQ Hadhi VEH (Fan Channel?)
G2070 - JQ Race 2-PK (Fan Channel)
G2081 - JQ Bandit DLX+ (Fan Channel)
G2089 - HER Zandor (Fan Channel/Amazon) - ZANYA W/CHAMELEON (59.99)
G1233 - Unknown
G2026 - HER Igoo
G2028 - HER Tundro
G2030 - HER Gloop - Arctic Set: Drift Viper, SAW Viper, Steel Brigade
G2064 - JQ Benton
G2075 - JQ Jessie DLX (Pulse)
G2099 - HER Tarra
G2103 - HER Dorno
G2123 - (Unknown) (Pulse)
G3298 - (Unknown) (Pulse)
G3300 - HER Squish Face
G3301 - (Unknown) (Pulse)
G3302 - (Unknown) (Pulse)
G3617 - (Unknown)
G2086 - Korvo DLX (NYCC)

Name Reveals:


Render Reveals:

Updated the first post with the new stuff shown today!