G.I. Joe Classified - News & Updates

[docsilence]

I'm looking forward to seeing all the toy photography folks here will be creating of Sundown beating the crap out of ICE officers.

I was reorganizing my shelves in my office last night and debated shifting the two cops I have into "non active duty" but literally thought "new Daredevil show is coming up soon and we have a Mexican bounty hunter Joe character coming out, I'm going to need some villains for photos again soon" and left them out of storage.

 

[TheGillMan]

I was reorganizing my shelves in my office last night and debated shifting the two cops I have into "non active duty" but literally thought "new Daredevil show is coming up soon and we have a Mexican bounty hunter Joe character coming out, I'm going to need some villains for photos again soon" and left them out of storage.

I've been playing clearance chicken with these cops at my Target for this very purpose. I want a bunch of them to put into various displays. I need some to be taken hostage by Joker & Harley, a few to get their asses handed to them by Daredevil, and at least a couple to be ICE dudebros getting beat to hell by a cool Mexican cowboy.

 

[WrathofTaco]

As a person of size, I will be the first to admit that the Legacy cop makes for a poor ICE stand-in. Both heads have chins, those stomachs are far too flat, and neither one appears to have "accidentally" impregnated their sister several times.

 

[Ru1977]

What's an ICE Agent's version of foreplay? "Hey sis, you awake?"

 

[docsilence]

I've been playing clearance chicken with these cops at my Target for this very purpose. I want a bunch of them to put into various displays. I need some to be taken hostage by Joker & Harley, a few to get their asses handed to them by Daredevil, and at least a couple to be ICE dudebros getting beat to hell by a cool Mexican cowboy.

It's gotta be weird to be in the Hasbro offices knowing they've sold a SHIT TON of these but in almost all cases they are either villains or victims. "Okay so they're selling well, but people keep posing them getting the shit kicked out of them by Punisher..."

As a person of size, I will be the first to admit that the Legacy cop makes for a poor ICE stand-in. Both heads have chins, those stomachs are far too flat, and neither one appears to have "accidentally" impregnated their sister several times.

Yeah, they fit in more like the anti-vigilante task for guys from Daredevil. Ice would be like if you took all the spare parts from the Joes and then put them on figures that can't buckle the flak vest.

 

[WrathofTaco]

Like a man-sized chalupa stuffed into a tactical vest.

 

[DarthDre758]

The Gravy Seals of Meal Team Six.

 

[docsilence]

The Gravy Seals of Meal Team Six.

I swear to god if some third-party company made these figures and like, donated the profits to immigrant defense funds I'd buy them all. Host a contest for action figure photography enthusiasts to set them up being defeated by their favorite heroes.

 

[WrathofTaco]

I think having a trio of dumpy, tacticool Green Buffets for my Joes/X-Men to stunt on would be a-okay by me.

 

[Ru1977]

DIREcreeper will be part of Walmart's Collector Con in March.

Zanya, Red Dog/Taurus, Legacy Special Forces, and Prof. Rottclaw will be coming in the next three months.

Deep Six may be in June, or.... 'Yojoe June', along with the Ferret/Flight Pod set. The next wave is probably coming then too, with Iceberg and four other unknown figures, with one other wave likely later in the year. We may also get the next Retro wave with Wild Bill and two other figures. (and a third wave coming later in the year).

There are still at least two more deluxe figures (like the Royal Guard and Deep Six) slated for this year. Two more Target exclusives, at least one of those is Ninja Force with T'Jbang, two more Walmart exclusives after the DIREcreeper, and bunch of fan channel stuff.

 

[WrathofTaco]

I actually *heard* my wallet cringe.

 

[docsilence]

I actually *heard* my wallet cringe.

Mine jumped out of my pocket and started looking for a weapon.

 

[WrathofTaco]

If there was a kindly person at Hasbro who could wrestle the DIRE stuff away from Walmart, some saint, I would be incredibly appreciative. Target munches ass in eight simultaneous dimensions and I'd still rather deal with them than Walmart.

 

[AceofKnaves]

If there was a kindly person at Hasbro who could wrestle the DIRE stuff away from Walmart, some saint, I would be incredibly appreciative.

It’s endlessly bizarre to me that pearls-clutching Walmart, enthusiastic supporter of the Satanic Panic and “won’t someone think of the children” bullshit, is (by choice I presume) the home for Classified’s overtly supernatural/demonic stuff, and “dark” Classified in general. Night Force, the original Mole Rat, and all the DIRE/Crystal Ball stuff. I will be annoyed, but not surprised, if my beloved Zombie-Viper winds up a Walmart exclusive.

 

[docsilence]

It’s endlessly bizarre to me that pearls-clutching Walmart, enthusiastic supporter of the Satanic Panic and “won’t someone think of the children” bullshit, is (by choice I presume) the home for Classified’s overtly supernatural/demonic stuff, and “dark” Classified in general. Night Force, the original Mole Rat, and all the DIRE/Crystal Ball stuff. I will be annoyed, but not surprised, if my beloved Zombie-Viper winds up a Walmart exclusive.

the way they hoard and then cancel MOTU orders, I wouldn't be surprised if they're somehow gatekeeping the horror side of GI Joe - I know a lot of us were able to get Mindbender and Dire-Vipers but it was NOT easy and it feels malicious.