G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

I definitely did not come up with the name "Rooster" or the combo of putting Bonebreaker's head on Ravager Thor's body (or that he's a Dreadnok), but everything else is me, lol.
 
Working on an alternate universe version of the Joes that feels timely given what happened yesterday:

Code Name: Hawk (Disavowed)
File Name, Abernathy, Clayton M.
Primary Military Specialty: Artillery
Secondary Military Specialty: Radar
Birthplace: Denver, CO
Rank: Brigadier General (Suspended)
Former commander of the now defunct GI Joe Task Force. Previous field commander for same unit. West Point graduate with extensive academic and field experience. Upon the election of Rexford Lewis to the presidency and subsequent realignment of all US military, Abernathy resigned his post and is currently wanted by the United States government for treason. Whereabouts unknown.

"You know we'd all die for Hawk, and you know that's because he'd die for any one of us. So when the big man called the old unit together, we all showed up. Didn't even need to send Rock n' Roll to go find Snake Eyes in his cabin this time. It was weird seeing him out of uniform. Like seeing your teacher at Dunkin Donuts, you know what I mean? But he says to us, in that Robert Redford voice of his, that "it's gonna be okay, boys, I've got you" tone of voice he always uses, he says: "I recruited every single one of you not because you were good at saying 'yes, sir,' but because you always said: 'how can I help.' That's what GI Joe did. We never just said yes, sir and followed orders. We followed our heart to wherever there's trouble so we could help people. Well, I resigned my commission today. I suspect if I stay here another day the president's lackeys will be kicking down my door to put me on trial for treason. I don't plan to be here. I plan to be out there. Helping people in trouble. And I want you to come with me.' And I'll be damned, man, every single person in that room. You won't believe who's bankrolling us, but Cobra Commander made all the wrong enemies when he got into politics..."
 
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Part two of the alternate timeline, inspired by getting Mercer today in the mail but he also just makes sense for this world:

Code Name: Mercer
File Name: Stratton, Felix P.; Alias, Cecil, Richard S.
Primary Military Specialty: Small Arms Armorer/Mercenary
Secondary Military Specialty: Explosives Expert
Birthplace: Spencer, West Virginia
Rank: E5 Equivalent
The only known Cobra Viper to defect and live to tell the tale. Former member of Slaughter's Marauders, an unsanctioned cadre of mercenaries loosely aligned with GI Joe command. Upon the election of Rexford Lewis, Slaughter's Marauders vanished, taking a large amount of cash confiscated from Cobra raids and over a million dollars in equipment. Whereabouts unknown; all members of the unit are Kill On Sight by US Military and Law Enforcement. There is currently a $2 million bounty on Mercer's head.

"Mercer was one of the first people Hawk recruited when our team was disavowed. Mercer is wildly unlikeable. He's impatient, intolerant of small talk, and in constant pain due to an injury he sustained while defecting from Cobra. But he's also the only guy we know who actually WORKED for the bad guys. He's a wealth of insider information and rapidly became one of Hawk's go-to guys. Funny thing is, once you get to know him he's a stand-up dude. He just doesn't suffer fools. And nobody hates Cobra like he does. I asked him about it and he said 'I saw how the sausage is made and because of what I saw, I'm now a vegetarian.' I'd go a step further and say Mercer wants to burn the whole pig farm to the ground. And he has absolutely nothing to lose. That makes him a very dangerous man."
 
Code Name: Shipwreck (Disavowed)
File Name: Delgado, Hector X.
Primary Military Specialty: Gunners Mate
Secondary Military Specialty: Machinist
Birthplace: Chula Vista, CA
Rank: CPO

On paper, one of the least impressive members of the now defunct GI Joe unit. Considered a sailor's sailor, Shipwreck retired rather than serve under Lewis's Navy, allegedly deciding to join up with the Merchant Marines instead. Last known whereabouts are somewhere in the San Diego area.

"Shipwreck's the reason a half-dozen of us got out before Cobra--I'm sorry, Lewis's loyalist military units--tightened the noose. The funny thing about Shipwreck is everyone underestimates him. I mean, he earns that reputation by acting a damned fool half the time, but he's smart, and nobody can wheel and deal like he can when he gets going. Joining the Navy at basically age "fetus" taught him that. But yeah, the Vipers were closing in on some of us in SoCal and Shipwreck walks into the Navy Yard, starts chatting up some of the guys there, has Polly tell a few dirty jokes, and forty-five minutes later he's headed out to sea with a stolen patrol boat. He says he was going to steal Boomin' Beaver but it couldn't move fast enough to escape with Bazooka's lardass slowing us down..."
 
Code Name: Scarlett (Disavowed)
File Name: O'Hara, Shana M.
Primary Military Specialty: Intelligence
Secondary Military Specialty: Classified
Birthplace: Atlanta, Georgia
Grade: E-5

Subject retired from the military upon Rexford Lewis's election to office. All records show she has chosen a quiet life as a martial arts / self defense instructor in her hometown of Atlanta with her brothers (her father recently retired). Unlike many of her fellow GI Joe alumni, she has not gone on the run and maintains that she has no contact with her former associates. 24/7 surveillance has been ordered on her and any movement to leave the country has been restricted.

"Giving up your pension and going on the run is brave, don't get me wrong, but what Scarlett is doing is braver. People always think of her as the chick with the crossbow, the ginger ninja, but they forget she's an expert intelligence agent and the work she did before joining the Joes is so classified there's like three people alive who know all the details and one of them literally can't talk. She stayed behind to work behind the scenes, running covert ops to destroy paper trails, monitor Cobra-adjacent actions on US soil, help stragglers get away, and according to some, the occasional wet work. She's got a go-bag in two dozen locations reachable by foot at any time and more fake IDs than she's got strands of red hair on her head. We're ready to evac her if we need to, but chances are she'll get herself out just fine. And if not, well, the deadliest man on Earth is waiting to murder his way to get to her at a moment's notice."
 
Code Name: Chuckles (Disavowed)
File Name: Provost, Philip M.
Primary Military Specialty: Criminal Investigations Division
Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence
Birthplace: Little Rock, Arkansas
Grade: E-5

One of the few veterans of the GI Joe unit to remain behind after Rexford Lewis's inauguration. Sources within the new administration consider him a friendly asset; he has provided useful intelligence in the past and continues to do so. Trust remains unverified, however, and attempts to fully identify his allegiance, activities, and frequently his actual whereabouts remain impossible. Every agent sent to investigate him returns convinced he is on their side. Chuckles is to remain free to move until he becomes a threat.

"Look, nobody knew if Chuckles was actually on team Joe BEFORE everything went pear-shaped. Of course he's still in the field. I swear someday he's going to full Keyser Soze on us and walk into the sunset and outlive us all. But he's provided intelligence three times letting us know the Cobra Corps were honing in on our current location, he got Crazy Legs out of a prison in South Florida, and he made sure an entire Walmart trailer truck full of laser rifles was left unlocked and untraceable for us in Ohio. I don't care who he works for as long as he keeps providing us with information. Plus who else can make Snake Eyes laugh, go drinking with the Dreadnoks, play cards with the Paoli twins, and get Cover Girl to give him her number written in lipstick on a napkin all in the same weekend? Nobody trusts Chuckles, but everybody loves him. They really do."
 
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