G.I. Joe Classified Series

After watching a video of a truly astoundingly dumb incident with some local cops last night the town over from me, I look at those sleeves and think they were intended to be rolled up to show off sleeve tattoos but they made them all black like an Under Armour undershirt so they could swap different flesh tones on the head.
Makes sense, but it looks stupid as fuck.


They absolutely should've just shadow-dropped it on Pulse some random Weds at 1 p.m. EST and called it a day, but they were going to get shellacked no matter what. The very existence of this figure in our current political climate was gasoline on a preexisting fire.
For this figure to be coming out this year means it was being developed and produced from 23-24. Who the fuck at Hasbro thought a fucking cop was a great idea even in 2023 and 2024? Because those years were the one where there were famously good relations between people and cops?
If they were worried about optics, then this figure should honestly not even exist.
 
They could have just released Shockwave v3 as a deluxe with all these parts. It would have been worse (no AA alt head), but at least it wouldn't have been a generic cop. Well, let the peanut gallery have their laughs, this figure is going to be one of the best 60th releases.
 
Or at least make him look way more like an old school beat cop. Boring but not as threatening.

I'm legitimately surprised it's not a beat cop. If the idea is kind of going with 'real American heroes' -- given that we got the firefighter, then a figure that pays homage to the type of cop that a lot of us were raised to believe is there to help out the community makes so much more sense than a militarized cop that literally only exists for the sake of violence against the community.

It's just such a weird figure to make. To be clear to any whiny conservatives in the audience; I'm not OFFENDED that the figure exists. I don't actually care that this exists any more than I care about Marauder making Nazi toys. I just think it's fucking weird.
 
Agree on the sleeves looking bad.

For this figure to be coming out this year means it was being developed and produced from 23-24. Who the fuck at Hasbro thought a fucking cop was a great idea even in 2023 and 2024? Because those years were the one where there were famously good relations between people and cops?
I'm going to give them a small benefit of the doubt in that they didn't have a cynic in the room and just went "hey, firefighter is cool, lets do cops next" and there was nobody there with like, the news on in the background going "guys?" It's the same rule that applies to how every marketing and advertising team needs someone on it who thinks like a church lady and someone who thinks like a 12 year old boy so they can spot accidental dick jokes in the copy.

But they can't wait for a good moment to release the figure. Every moment will be a new bad moment. The Supreme Court just a-okay'd pulling people over for driving brown or looking like they work in physical labor. At this point they might as well release it, make their money back (because people WILL buy it) and just be resigned to knowing there will be a lot of action figure photography skill devoted to using this figure as a punching bag for Marvel Legends Bernthal Punisher figures. And I do think it'll sell INSANELY well, but maybe not for all the reasons Hasbro wants it to. There's going to be so much arts and crafts energy put into this it'll make Mythic Legions photographers look like amateur hour.

And I mean, it's all about the context. A beat cop makes the most historical sense, but even if they'd done a Rick Grimes / Jim Hopper brown and tan local cop look I bet the jokes would be fewer. Actually now I kinda want one in that uniform with swappable Rick Grimes/Jim Hopper heads.
 
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I just reached the episode where Hopper is down in the tunnels under Hawkins in our gradual rewatch before the final season. One of the thingies sneezes in his face and he knocks out for a bit then fights tentacles with his knife and lighter, and I feel like he would give Cobra La whatfer almost as hard as Sgt. Slaughter.
 
Ultimately, Classified have backed themselves into a wall releasing multiple skin tones for these figures. Yes, a beat cop could have been a simple Shipwreck repaint, but how would they do the arms? They'd need to do entirely-new engineering to do swappable arms. They fudged it here and it looks bad but imagine these sleeves on a beat cop.
 
I just reached the episode where Hopper is down in the tunnels under Hawkins in our gradual rewatch before the final season. One of the thingies sneezes in his face and he knocks out for a bit then fights tentacles with his knife and lighter, and I feel like he would give Cobra La whatfer almost as hard as Sgt. Slaughter.
I literally quote Jim Hopper multiple times a week, even if it's just MORNINGS ARE FOR COFFEE AND CONTEMPLATION. That first season he is so Chief Brody from Jaws coded and I love it. Also probably why I've got Red Guardian hanging out with Snake Eyes on my desk right now.
 
Ohhhhh, I don’t think he’ll be punching them.
. . . OK, maybe, but not JUST punching.
😇
Also a LOT more guys are gonna get in on the “punching”.
Meant to include "bag" after punching in there but you know what I mean. I can see folks recreating certain scenes from Born Again for sure.
 
lmao Hasbro Pulse just stocked ~30 Trench Viper sets and they sold out in minutes... what in the Marvel's SNAP is going on here? Etsy hobbyists make larger runs than that. (i'm just kidding around btw)
 
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But they can't wait for a good moment to release the figure. Every moment will be a new bad moment.
100%
I never expected them to not release it. I'm surprised it's taking this long just to get it out there considering anyone in the toy world already knows about it. What I'm saying, that I think we agree on, is that it seems like they made a lot of mistakes to even get to this point. Multiple people did something dumb to get here.


Ultimately, Classified have backed themselves into a wall releasing multiple skin tones for these figures. Yes, a beat cop could have been a simple Shipwreck repaint, but how would they do the arms? They'd need to do entirely-new engineering to do swappable arms. They fudged it here and it looks bad but imagine these sleeves on a beat cop.
I feel like the solution to that is just to make a beat cop with regular long sleeves?
 
Ultimately, Classified have backed themselves into a wall releasing multiple skin tones for these figures. Yes, a beat cop could have been a simple Shipwreck repaint, but how would they do the arms? They'd need to do entirely-new engineering to do swappable arms. They fudged it here and it looks bad but imagine these sleeves on a beat cop.
Some cops had long sleeves, but does that make them look less friendly? I imagine short sleeves are kinda Rockwellian. (Nope, just looked and they one with the kid has long sleeves).

BUT... I would like if they started doing that with the firearms.
I literally quote Jim Hopper multiple times a week, even if it's just MORNINGS ARE FOR COFFEE AND CONTEMPLATION. That first season he is so Chief Brody from Jaws coded and I love it. Also probably why I've got Red Guardian hanging out with Snake Eyes on my desk right now.
Yes on the Brody thing, even his truck! Awesome. When we were discussing Netflix, the first 'actually' that occurred to me was definitely Stranger Things.

lmao Hasbro Pulse just stocked ~30 Trench Viper sets and they sold out in minutes... what in the Marvel's SNAP is going on here? Etsy hobbyists make larger runs than that.
Motherfucker!!!!
 
30 sets makes it feel like they found a spare crate they didn't know about or just had some returns.

Maybe make the beat cops super unsexy with long sleeves not rolled up and include swappable hands like the greenshirts, I guess. Bare arms look more classic, but long-sleeved (or maybe jacket over a classic light blue shirt?) wouldn't look terrible.

Multiple people did something dumb to get here.
AYUP. Although honestly, the day it was SUPPOSED to go up for preorder? Epic badness. Like, a guy dressed like the action figure shot a journalist in the head with a rubber bullet during the expected Hasbro live broadcast. I think the only thing they could do was punt that day. That timing was so bad you couldn't have scripted it in a cringe comedy show about marketing.
 
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