G.I. Joe Classified Series

docsilence said:
So funny story - I did and it didn't work, so I rinsed them off, let them air dry (still stuck), stuffed the entire battalion in a box, and ignored them for like six months. I opened that box up this weekend and all the hips now work. Makes me wonder if the shock oil spread out better or y'know... melted their hips, but either way, I now have a functional squad of vipers. Maybe the retro is their NCO?
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Glad it worked out! I need to mess with mine some and make sure the shock oil is still working.
 
Spongyblue said:
Another headcanon for me, the Joe earth is just another Marvel multiverse (Earth 1983? let go with that). In that world is almost identical with the mainstream Marvel, but minus most super powered people.
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I've got something similar. I feel like Punisher would be "oh no, not that guy again" for the Joes. But they'd get along famously with Cap and Bucky. Snake Eyes and Daredevil spar once in a while.
vicious said:
It could have to do with heat. I know when my computer room is cold, these guys' hips lock up tighter than Fort Knox. But on a hot day, like yesterday, they're so loose that they're literally toppling off my shelves. Retro Gung Ho just Geronimo'd off the shelf, taking four other Joes with him, making me dig through the couch and carpet to find his cover along with various silencers, bolts, and other weapons.
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I don't know if it's heat in this case, though heat is such a huge factor with a ton of my figures. These guys were stored in my studio in the basement that stays relatively cool. Either way I'm not complaining though, cos I thought I had a half-dozen useless figures and how they all move.
Justice said:
Glad it worked out! I need to mess with mine some and make sure the shock oil is still working.
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Thanks! Me too. I will say it didn't work for all my stuck figures - V1 Doctor Mindbender is borked, as is Spirit (I was able to get one of him that worked later on, fortunately) my first Destro, and my first Firefly. Maybe I need to proverbially hotbox the other guys to see if they start moving.
 
docsilence said:
I've got something similar. I feel like Punisher would be "oh no, not that guy again" for the Joes. But they'd get along famously with Cap and Bucky. Snake Eyes and Daredevil spar once in a while.
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Everyone crapping on Frank here, but I GOTTA think SE gets along just fine with Frank. They're two dudes that seem to agree on being the only two guys in the room that understand -everyone- here just showed up with guns and knives to kill terrorists and there's really no reason to start getting all high road squeamish about it now.
 
I kind of really want that MMS, but I also want to boycott their rockets until they get some proper-facing exhaust effects.

I started Joes with wave 1, when they absolutely were American Army, and that's how I prefer them today. Let the Russians have their own Oktober Guard and Europe have their own Action Force. For what it's worth, I've since gone on to a full career in the Navy and now work at my local police department, so regimented public service heroes are kind of my thing. (GI Joe, Rescue Heroes, Village People, Paw Patrol...)

It's kind of like the fantasy of the Wild West. I love it because it's distinctly American, and I don't think enjoying the fantasy of it endorses the reality of it.
 
Fletch said:
It's kind of like the fantasy of the Wild West. I love it because it's distinctly American, and I don't think enjoying the fantasy of it endorses the reality of it.
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The Wild West thing is a really great example. Practically nothing we watch in the movies and shows, or read in the dime novels, actually happened, or happened the way it's presented. It's the fantasy of what it could have been like if it weren't like it actually was. And usually glosses over the really nasty stuff, or uses the nasty stuff to tell a story about how actually most people are heroic - or whatever. I love a good Western - I'm repulsed by the real life American 19th century.
 
Damien said:
but I GOTTA think SE gets along just fine with Frank.
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Ooooh I think Snake-Eyes would *despise* Frank. Or at least fundamentally disagree with his mission and see him as misguided and a foe. Snake-Eyes is all about honor and discipline over vengeance. Frank is . . . well, let’s be honest: Frank is a serial killer. Now I’m not saying Frank would join Cobra or anything, I’m sure the Joes and the Punisher would have many common foes if they existed together. I just can’t see *any* of the Joes being anything but unsettled and creeped out by the Punisher in a “this is what I could become” kind of way, and for Snake-Eyes in particular Frank’s path is contrary to everything he was taught by his mentors.
And “the Joes have to hunt down an unhinged veteran who has started murdering criminals in a local city” sounds like a thing that would definitely happen.
 
Damien said:
Everyone crapping on Frank here, but I GOTTA think SE gets along just fine with Frank. They're two dudes that seem to agree on being the only two guys in the room that understand -everyone- here just showed up with guns and knives to kill terrorists and there's really no reason to start getting all high road squeamish about it now.
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Hell, I like Frank. When he's solo. The more he is around other folks, the more it's clear he's got issues and needs therapy.
 
AceofKnaves said:
Ooooh I think Snake-Eyes would *despise* Frank. Or at least fundamentally disagree with his mission and see him as misguided and a foe. Snake-Eyes is all about honor and discipline over vengeance. Frank is . . . well, let’s be honest: Frank is a serial killer. Now I’m not saying Frank would join Cobra or anything, I’m sure the Joes and the Punisher would have many common foes if they existed together. I just can’t see *any* of the Joes being anything but unsettled and creeped out by the Punisher in a “this is what I could become” kind of way, and for Snake-Eyes in particular Frank’s path is contrary to everything he was taught by his mentors.
And “the Joes have to hunt down an unhinged veteran who has started murdering criminals in a local city” sounds like a thing that would definitely happen.
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Maybe it's just my general feeling on soldiers but like.. .they're all fucking serial killers. Properly hinged people don't pick up automatic weapons and turn other human beings into paste. The way Frank would, potentially, handle going after Cobra as an organization wouldn't actually be all that different from the way Snake-Eyes or Lowlight would go after Cobra. With the exception of someone like Doc, we have to allow that basically every member of the Joe team is a stone cold killer and would be pretty okay with being given the opportunity to absolutely mow down everyone with a snake on their jacket.

Would the Joe team agree with Frank out on the streets of New York? Absolutely not - I would think. But within the context of teaming up to fight Cobra, I don't think there's any problems there.
 
Damien said:
The Wild West thing is a really great example. Practically nothing we watch in the movies and shows, or read in the dime novels, actually happened, or happened the way it's presented. It's the fantasy of what it could have been like if it weren't like it actually was. And usually glosses over the really nasty stuff, or uses the nasty stuff to tell a story about how actually most people are heroic - or whatever. I love a good Western - I'm repulsed by the real life American 19th century.
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You're trying to tell me that the portrayal of Bat Masterson by Gene Barry, dapper song and dance man, where he goes around beating up multiple 250lb+ bandits using a walking cane while wearing a pristine suit coat and bedazzled vest, isn't realistic? Damn I don't know what to believe anymore.
 
I also think it depends on which Frank. Bernthal's Frank? I think the highly disciplined, almost cartoonishly honorable Snake Eyes could find common ground with him but wouldn't like, want to hang out and be friends. I think they both know they're weapons in human form; but Frank is resigned to being a weapon and nothing else, and Snake Eyes feels a pull of humanity that won't let him go Full Frank, though he is as much if not more so honed into being a perfect human weapon.

Snake Eyes absolutely wouldn't kick Frank off the bus on the way to a fight, but look at how alone Frank is (especially comics Frank - I say this as someone who finds Bernthal's interpretation INCREDIBLY humanizing and full of a violent grace) vs. how beloved Snake Eyes is by everyone around him. Snake Eyes' friends say a lot about him, whether it's Tommy or Stalker or Scarlet or Rock n Roll or whoever. He's so often written as being beloved. There's a softness he can achieve Frank can't. Frank struggles with finding human connections. (Now I want to do a whole deep dive on how interesting it is Snake Eyes learned from men who called themselves the Hard Master AND the Soft Master.)

I think the Wild West/Idealized version of things is a really good point, and why I love when GI Joe gets f*ckin WEIRD and get just a bit uncomfortable when they hew too close to reality. War sucks, killing sucks, violence sucks (and I say violence sucks as an ex boxer who know show addictive violence can be, like scary how those endorphins hit!). But like, give me Snake Eyes with his ninja commando ridiculousness, or Flint in his 1950s movie star playing a soldier look with a million dollar smirk, or ridiculous animal companions like Spearhead and Max, or dayglow silliness like Sci-Fi, or Shockwave looking like a TV producer's imagined look of a SWAT team, but when I look at the action figures for Breaker and Clutch, I get an uncanny valley feeling, because I don't really want an action figure who reminds mee so much of, like, my cousin or classmate who spent ten years fighting in the desert. I don't want it to lean that close to reality. Also why I did not buy the action soldier generic figures (too real) but will buy a couple of green shirts (just unrealistic enough).

I think that's why I'm so addicted to the retro figures in this line. Some of the new figures, if they don't go full sci-fi splash like Wave 1 did, can be so skillfully done to evoke reality that I like the old-fashioned cartoonishness the retro versions offer. Or Tiger Force. It adds a really fun layer of playfulness between reality and toy soldiers.
 
Damien said:
The way Frank would, potentially, handle going after Cobra as an organization wouldn't actually be all that different from the way Snake-Eyes or Lowlight would go after Cobra.
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That is certainly fair, from a practical standpoint anyway.
I do allow that my personal version of Snake-Eyes is highly reliant on his portrayal in “The MASS Device” re: his self-sacrificing loyalty to his friends, love for animals, generally being incredibly empathetic and essentially pure-heartedly heroic. Like ohhh yeah, he’ll kill when he needs to and he gets the job done no mater what, but ultimately he’s a man seeking peace who just wants to be in his cabin in the Sierras with Timber and Scarlett, and Storm Shadow some of the time.

Speaking of Storm Shadow: he’d be the one who would “get along” with Frank. They’d see eye to eye on an awful lot of things.
 
Y'know, Low Light WOULD like Frank. I bet Beachhead would too. Spirit would wish he finds peace. Frank would stress Hawk / Duke / Stalker other leaders TF OUT because you know they'd know they have absolutely no way to manage him.

Duke: If we send him in, he's going to do Frank stuff.
Hawk: At the moment, we need someone to do Frank stuff.
Duke: I would just like to go on record reminding you that we cannot put the toothpaste back in the tube after we squeeze it.
Hawk: That's why I'm taking full responsibility. Send him in and may god have mercy on any Cobra who get in his way.
 
Chooch555 said:
Snake Eyes is the ultimate let me live alone in my cabin, but these goddamn ninjas won't leave me alone guy.
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Snake Eyes, preparing some moose jerky in his cabin, tosses a piece to Timber.
Door knocks.
Snake Eyes and Timber lock eyes. They both know what the other one is thinking.
"Not these motherf*ckers again. Amazon is supposed to deliver a new set of trench knives today and I have to be here to sign for it."
 
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