The Complaint Thread

My birthday is right after Christmas, so my birthday was usually 'everyone is burnt out, no one wants to do anything, and also we spent so much on you for Christmas that it was actually your Christmas AND birthday presents all at once.' (Granted, I was pretty spoiled, so I'm not complaining about not getting stuff.)
 
I don’t hate *all* the food, I do dislike most of it.
check, but thankfully my wife loves spicing it up and doing other stuff we all love. Not the case when we go to see my dad's family.
Mostly I just hate being trapped in a house with my family.
My situation with my dad is probably so benign compared to yours, but I also don't like that. Really what I hate is the drive there that always has to take at least twice as long as it normally does, and the drive back. What's kinda fun though is we tend to stop for some fast food on the way back and the kids get excited so that's a nice little side tradition.
I hate that people assume *everyone* wants to have sports on
I get this with my wife's family, but thankfully my dad's family is more into struggling to find topics of discussion.
I hate having to go around the table and “say what you are thankful for”, I despise performative “gratitude”
I'm with you on the performative part, but I do enjoy seeing what my kids are thankful for. My youngest usually comes up with some really surprising ones. Last year she was thankful that people like Jesus Christ and MLKjr existed.
I really really REALLY hate the fact that we are socially compelled to celebrate genocide and land theft. It’s fucking gross.
This is really my bottom line. Yes I hate driving there and back, but this is my big fat "come on, fuck this already" reason.
And yeah yeah yeah “just make it a fun family/friend holiday, it doesn’t have to be connected to thanksgiving!” Nah, fuck that. Thanksgiving is nasty “American empire” nonsense.
Yep. The fun family/friend thing doesn't enter into it for me because we see my wife's family frequently, we don't see our friends for that occasion (we have friendsmas), and it IS one of the few times I see my dad's family but it's one too many!
 
My birthday is right after Christmas, so my birthday was usually 'everyone is burnt out, no one wants to do anything, and also we spent so much on you for Christmas that it was actually your Christmas AND birthday presents all at once.' (Granted, I was pretty spoiled, so I'm not complaining about not getting stuff.)
My mom's is two days before Christmas, which I know is not the same but we at least try to make it a very distinct celebration from the rest of it all. And I never wrap her presents with Christmas paper.
 
I can't disagree with that. Eggs are generally gross. I've been pescatarian for a little over a decade now. Deviled is the only way I eat eggs.
 
Oh, god, the "what are you thankful for" thing always made me die inside. It was always some form of family or health or religion. Everyone just recycled the same answer, worded slightly differently. They always seemed to start at the opposite end of the table from me, so by the time it got to me, my answer just seemed unoriginal. I could never think of anything- it's not that I wasn't thankful for things, it's just that I didn't feel the need to proclaim it as performatively as them. Especially as I got older and realized that they never really seemed to live in a way that backed up their claim- they were thankful for family, but never reached out, never supported, talked about them behind their backs, etc. Most of the time, they'd leave as soon as dinner was over, even if it was early, which made it clear they just came for the free food. It was about abundance, showing off in a way- who could be the most thankful, or put out the fancier meals, etc.

Which I think is why we now keep it so low-key. I don't really travel to see my family on Thanksgiving- not because I don't love them, but it just doesn't feel necessary; when put against Christmas, that's the one we prefer more, so that's where we put our efforts. On Thanksgiving, they just focus on spending time together- grabbing a quick bite out somewhere, taking it home, and watching a couple movies or something. It's about the unspoken feelings, the little things, moreso than the proclamations and performances.

And agreed on the sports. Thank God for the family members who had more than one TV; more often than not, the kids would go into another room and play video games while the men watched sports and the women talked.

Regarding Deviled Eggs, however, that's where I have to disagree. I've noticed that it's very much something that varies person-by-person- everyone seems to make them a bit differently, but the way my Mom makes them is hella good. Definitely leaning moreso on the filling than the egg itself, so it ends up being more salty/tangy than egg-y
 
Given that I grew up in a protestant Boston Portuguese/Italian family, I can only recall the 'what are you thankful for' thing happening one time, and I believe my grandmother (whose house we were always at for gatherings) said something to the affect of 'I'd be thankful if everyone shut up and ate their goddamn food.' And that was that.

We did have the 'what are you thankful for' bullshit a lot in school when I was little. I remember having to write that on drawings of turkeys and bullshit like that. I always wrote something snide, because I am snide.
 
I’m old enough that they dressed us up as Pilgrims and [Native Americans] in kindergarten. Obviously they used a different word. And the younger, pre-K (I think they call it TK now) kids were the [Native Americans]. Not great.

And re: dinner table shenanigans, my mother used to make this HUGE show when guests were over about “sitting at the dinner table LIKE WE ALWAYS DO”. Yeah, that was a fucking lie because when no one was over we almost never sat at the actual table nor had “DDC” (“delightful dinner conversation”, real witty, mom), and when my sister and I got to be teens we started calling my mom out on the lie in front of company and she did. not. like. that.
But ya gotta dig: my family was WEIRD about social stuff and table manners. My dad used to yell at me, in all seriousness and clearly in a state of genuine fear for me that “people will think you are a BARBARIAN!!!!!!!” if I like held my fork the wrong way up or didn’t put my knife down after cutting.
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@AceofKnaves I read your post, I liked it, and I thought I moved on and went to do dishes but realized... no, fuck, my dad! Heh heh. It's something I've really just put aside because it doesn't matter, but clearly anger about him is always something I can easily summon, but yes he's the same way about the huge show. And it's not even so much on the day, but he makes all the children, and adults too, pose certain ways for wonderful Americana kinda shots. What he REALLY wants though is pictures of his wonderful grandkids (and, they are all great kids, but for him they're more props) that he can send to his sisters to show off what a wonderful grand-dad he is. And he always does the family newsletter about all his stepkids and their babies, and my cousin always texts me "Why does he think we give a shit about these people we don't know? Why doesn't he tell us about you and your kids?" Well... there's a really good reason, because I kinda forget to tell him much of anything! Which likely started out as a defense mechanism for me but now it's just... me living my life.

Anyway... I see my dad as... kinda sad. I know him too well to fully loathe him anymore. I just feel bad for him. He's exactly like his mother, and that kinda breaks my heart for him. She would abuse the shit out of her kids in various manners, but if one of them called her at work it was all "Oh, it's one of my babies!" And he was always the exact same way with me, which is such a bummer for him because I'm sure part of him thought he'd be better. And he was, to be fair. he didn't hit me or anything. Well, we did get into fights when I was 'big enough'.

Anyway part two, ugh. Just the right head to get into before braving these gatherings.
 
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