Yesterday, I was on the hunt for the Target exclusive (and highly elusive) Baroness with C.O.I.L. Bike, GI Joe: Classified figure. She has been insanely difficult to find for collectors. I just couldn't rest until I had her accompanying my other Joes on the shelf.
So I hopped fully clothed into the tub with my bathing wife, and begged her to go with me to Target. True story.
First, I check Brickseek and see that there are only 2 in the surrounding 100 miles. Completely cleaned out, otherwise. One is about 10 minutes away, the other, about half an hour.
So I call the closest one, of course, and the kid doesn't bother to look. He tells me that they're getting more in tomorrow. I say, "Says you have one in stock". "Uhm...yeah, no call tomorrow around 8, and we should have it".
Psst, sidenote...they still don't have it. Liar.
But still, like any true diligent collector, I didn't trust him, and decided to show up, anyway. Sure enough, when I get there, nothing on shelves. But there is a tag, so that tells me that they had them, and sold through. But just in the off chance, I grabbed a passing by employee, and asked for him to scan the tag. He says to me "I'm sorry, man. Nope. None in stock here, nothing in the back. There is one in North Canton"--The half hour away one.
So, I ask for their number and call them on the way out of the store. I get a girl in electronics, and ask her to look for me. She tells me she doesn't have a scanner handy, but she will just have to walk around looking for it. I'm thinking, "Great. She will never find it. She doesn't even know what she's looking fo--"
"Ope! There it is! Baroness with...COAL Bike? Coil Bike?"
"YES! Oh, my God! Seriously? Yes, that's it! Uh...could you hold that for me at the electronics desk?? I am literally 15 minutes away!"
"Sure, just give me your name, and I'll have it here for you".
I give her my name, and tell her how amazing and awesome she is, and off we go.
So, we get there, and as I am walking back there, (Erin had enough of my fast paced walking, which is my natural toy hunting speed, so she stayed behind in the car), I noticed hardly anyone in the toy section. I'm thinking that I could have just shown up, grabbed the set, no problems. Not a risk I was willing to take.
Regardless, after the girl who I managed to get a hold of there (not the one I spoke with) scared the hell out of me by not being able to find it under the desk, leaving me thinking that someone may have snagged it using my name, she opens a locked cabinet, and it was like that scene in Pulp Fiction where Vincent Vega opens the briefcase. There she is, in all of her glory: THE Baroness. One of my favorite childhood villainesses in the 6 inch scale that I've always wanted. I grab it from her hands, thank her profusely, tell her to thank the girl that I spoke with profusely, and start making my way up towards the front.
BUT...I wanted to make a real quick stop at the toy section just to see if they had a spare Cobra Trooper of the same toyline, for a buddy who is looking for it.
I walk up, and there is this really scuzzy looking kid, with his scuzzier looking girlfriend, and they are both with the largest man I have ever seen.
I'm not even joking. HUGE. This man's head was the size of a freaking basketball, he had to have been 6'10, maybe even 7 foot tall. He was so broad, his shoulders took up so much space of the aisle. And dude was jacked. I'm not talking fat here. Dude was just a massive pro wrestler looking guy.
I excuse myself past them, and to be honest, they were actually super polite, with "Oh, I'm sorry, no worries, go ahead".
I take notice that scuzzy guy is also looking at the Joes, pulling them off of the shelf one by one, holding 3 Roadblocks, but clearly looking for something else. He says to the big guy "I don't understand. It still says they have one in stock, I literally just checked..."
So, seeing that there clearly is no Trooper, I move on, but stop as I see the X-Men Age of Apocalypse deluxe figure, and just wanted to see it in person before considering the purchase.
Suddenly, I notice that silence has hit that aisle, as I see someone pointing at me out of my periphery. I turn around, and Basketball Head is literally sneaking up behind me with his hand out, getting ready to snatch the figure set that I have been hunting for out of my hand. He was not even hiding that he was trying to do it, cartoonishly creeping up on me like the Hamburgler or something.
I whip around to look at him, and he freezes mid-creep.
You guys...you will have never seen my round, but surprisingly firm ass move so quick. I exclaim "What in the actual fuck??", Heisman cradled that set, and took off out of that toy section so fast. Paid for it and got out of dodge before they could tackle me and wrestle it from my white knuckled grip.
I got to the car so winded, but alas...SCORE