Realms of the Blacktide Pirate Figures

I know I'm like the... 'I hate the 4H guy' around here but.. I actually don't like these. And I say that as someone that REALLY wants high quality pirate figures.
 
I know I'm like the... 'I hate the 4H guy' around here but.. I actually don't like these. And I say that as someone that REALLY wants high quality pirate figures.
You're not JUST the "I hate the 4H guy" to us. You are so much more to us than that!

You're also the "I hate Brian Flynn guy", the "I hate Boss Fight guy", the "I hate Bobby Vala guy" and so on and so forth.
 
Damn it. These look cool. If the scale is right, I'm getting at least the skeleton and the squid.
 
The names leave a lot to be desired, as many have said. I would have preferred more human-looking pirates minus any supernatural aspects to them. Famous namesakes more than anything. The sculpting on things like the skull captain's coat and the coral-encrusted swords are unique and enjoyable. These seem to draw too heavily on the Pirates of the Caribbean films' "horror" aspects for my tastes personally. Just make a Blackbeard interpretation, Captain Kidd, Captain Morgan, Calico Jack, Benjamin Hornigold, Anne Bonnie etc. Assassin's Creed did their own versions fairly well. They could even include the monster parts as swap-outs or add-on tiers if they really want to go the sea man/monsters route.
 
The names leave a lot to be desired, as many have said. I would have preferred more human-looking pirates minus any supernatural aspects to them. Famous namesakes more than anything. The sculpting on things like the skull captain's coat and the coral-encrusted swords are unique and enjoyable. These seem to draw too heavily on the Pirates of the Caribbean films' "horror" aspects for my tastes personally. Just make a Blackbeard interpretation, Captain Kidd, Captain Morgan, Calico Jack, Benjamin Hornigold, Anne Bonnie etc. Assassin's Creed did their own versions fairly well. They could even include the monster parts as swap-outs or add-on tiers if they really want to go the sea man/monsters route.
Yep, pretty much all of this. A less stylized version of famous, real pirates like Blackbeard, Anne Bonny and Cheung Po Tsai? I'd be all in.
 
I dig the overall look of these, though I agree with FuzzyBlueDemon that the sheaths are ridiculous. Are they pirates, or just a pirate themed mariachi band? Those definitely look like they carry guitars, not swords.
 
The more I look at these the more they're too toy-like for me. I'm with everyone else mentioning real pirates (or I'll add fictional pirates, but done realistically). I'm honestly surprised there isn't a line like that already.
(Edited the post cos my brain glitched out into typo central this morning apparently.)
 
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It is a little weird none of these dudes is rocking a proper cutlass.
This is something I was thinking about but didn't want to get too deep in the weeds. What ARE these?

Because cutlasses aren't.. really.. a pirate thing. Cutlasses were developed -after- the Golden Age of Piracy. BUT, they're very commonly associated with pirates thanks to movies and TV. So if you're making kind of a 'pop culture Pirates' line with pirates as regular people might expect to see them.... you gotta have cutlasses and braces of pistols and shit.
And if you're making a historically-minded line (even a fantasy one), then you'd do no cutlasses, but you also wouldn't do whatever the fuck is going on here.

So what... ARE.. these?
 
My issue isn't so much the cutlass itself, but the size of it. I've never been one for big, oversized weapons, even on stylized characters like this. I prefer my swords to be proportionate to their wielders, take that however you'd like.

These ones aren't too too bad, granted, but I feel they could be a bit smaller. Not a huge fan of the oversized gun on ol' Fish Face, but overall, I still dig 'em.
 
I'm furious that people are making stuff like this, yet no one seems to be able to put together a Pirates of Dark Water revival line.
I swear this is the hidden 'Just reboot the damned thing and take an entire generation's money" cartoon / toy line just waiting to be made.
 
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