TheRealSmallville
Ponderous
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2025
- Messages
- 147
Aheheheheh. Yes. Very much yes.
I started out specializing in addiction (still work that specialty) and I cannot stress enough how much substance use/abuse is a compensatory act.
NO ONE is “just” an addict.
I discovered this is an interesting way. I started smoking at 16 as a way to fit in with the group, because masking was only getting me so far. I was a pack-a-day smoker from 16-37. When I decided to quit, it was actually easy (I'm told it was so easy for me due to the autism, and how I basically traded one addiction -smoking - for another - buying toys.
Anyway, point being, after quitting smoking my "symptoms" ramped up. My mask turned to dust, I started having "behaviors" when I was overstimulated. Small things that never got to me before were suddenly insurmountable mountains. Stress levels skyrocketed. Somehow, in a way that I personally don't really understand, I was "self-medicating" with the cigs and stopping that self-medication allowed things to ramp up. I'm not sure I fully understand it all, but it was a strange process. I think every now & then about going back to it, trying to "reset myself" to a period before my mask was gone, but I know that is a terrible idea and I need to stay away for the obvious health concerns it brings. I must say though, ignorance was bliss lol
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