Operation Monster Force

I sent a pic of the Santataur to one of my D&D groups and it of course, inevitably, rekindled the "which end has the dick" argument. I should've kept it to myself. (We also learned that one player finds centaurs to be his bridge too far for fantasy biology. "I HATE it, too many parts, makes no sense, can't parse it out, I ban centaurs from my games because they're weird." This is a guy who regularly finds the weirdest combos to play, too.
 
In my absolutely not very humble opinion; unless it's statistically broken (i.e. usually comes from some third party splatbook or a different version of the game), no DM should ban playable material unless they're doing the legwork to actually create their own world in which that thing doesn't fit. Make it make sense. If you're just gonna tell me I can't play a hill dwarf in Dragonlance just because you don't like dwarves, I'm gonna tell you to fuck all the way off to Fuckoffton, on the east side of Fuckachusettes.
 
In my absolutely not very humble opinion; unless it's statistically broken (i.e. usually comes from some third party splatbook or a different version of the game), no DM should ban playable material unless they're doing the legwork to actually create their own world in which that thing doesn't fit. Make it make sense. If you're just gonna tell me I can't play a hill dwarf in Dragonlance just because you don't like dwarves, I'm gonna tell you to fuck all the way off to Fuckoffton, on the east side of Fuckachusettes.
Pretty sure he was being hyperbolic, but I will say "this creature gives me an arachnid reaction and parsing out its cursed geometry makes me nauseous" is a fair reason. I mean, I allow anything as long as I, myself, have access to it to parse out if it fits in the game world. Don't show up with your Cylon homebrew, but can we shove that into a warforged or autognome chassis so we know it's been properly playtested? (He's currently in a campaign with a walking jello mold, a dwarf covered in spores, a dandy aasimar, a catfolk cleric, an orc bard, and a Human Ranger (TM) named Tom.

The upside these days though is that it's not 1989 and if you hate a DM's style, it's not like the old days when it was like "well shit, this asshole's the only one willing to DM within 48 miles, it's this or nothin'." And there's enough players hunting for a table to join that the DM be like, hey cool, that frees up a spot for my wait list, you'll probably be happier at a different table.

Staying on topic, though - while Monster Force scales perfectly for what I want it to hang with (Classified) I wish Dracula was maybe a quarter inch taller, because I have him on my desk next to Marvel Legends Dracula and I kinda of want him to look him in the eye and question Legends' Dracula's sartorial choices. "Why are you wearing a lobster? What happened in your timeline to shame me so?"
 
If you're just gonna tell me I can't play a hill dwarf in Dragonlance just because you don't like dwarves,
Distinct from what you said, but I hold that if someone's playing a  gully dwarf because they like playing an idiot no matter how disruptive it is to the table, I'll ban the hell out of it. I've no problem banning races or classes if i don't like them at the table. That's how we roll in Noshitcinnati.

I also maintain the right to maintain campaign setting consistency and ban inconsistent races and classes. Since there should be player input in the setting, though, that's not always a problem. If we, as a group, agree to a viking campaign in Far Fjord, Louis shouldn't be mad when I ban his vultureman.

Anyway, something something Monster Force.
 
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You can't tell me what to do in "MY" head canon. :p

Even if that's what the lore says.
No, I cannot, nor would I want to tell you what to do. You do you...just as a longtime researcher on Krampus tradition and lore, I really hate the American tendency to make Krampus into an evil character. This seems to fuel the Evangelicals out ignorantly protesting Krampus as "Satanic". I run a Krampus group in Houston, and I've gotten some truly dumb comments from some Fundamentalist types over the years.

You can do with your toys what you want, and make up all the headcanon you want....that is the joy of toys and I'd never want to take that away from anyone. Still...I'm gonna be looking weird at you, like you're the kid who decided that He-Man and Skeletor were best friends who go shopping for furry shorts together. 🤪
Just so I'm clear, though, you have no issue with a sleigh pulled by a Santataur.
I have zero opinion about a Santataur whatsoever. I find it an odd, yet creative, idea for a figure. Not one I'm interested in for my collection, but no judgement for those who dig it.
 
Fuckachuesetts is the promised land for horny people everywhere.
See I didn't even go to that use of the word since profanity is basically our state pastime. Went right past fornication into old school profanity.
Distinct from what you said, but I hold that if someone's playing a  gully dwarf because they like playing an idiot no matter how disruptive it is to the table, I'll ban the hell out of it. I've no problem banning races or classes if i don't like them at the table. That's how we roll in Noshitcinnati.
TBF, I'm sooner to ban a disruptive player than I am to ban anything in game. There's nobody on earth I like enough to GM for if their game style is "being annoying."
like you're the kid who decided that He-Man and Skeletor were best friends who go shopping for furry shorts together.
Picturing He-Man and Skeletor meeting cute at Loincloths R Us and choosing to never speak of it again.

Something something Monster Force - I wish my NECA Van Helsing scaled with Declan Van Helsing because I want to photograph a monster hunting training montage, but Peter Cushing was NOT that tall.
 
Staying on topic, though
Do we do that here? I didn't get the memo. But I wonder if they will do Dracula variants. I was never big on armored Dracula's ( even though the Marvel Legends version is a nice figure), armor always looked odd on the character. But so do tuxedos and mid 1800's suits. He seems like the kind of dude that likes fine attire, but stays with the times. Not really sure what look he would go for though.

Something like this?
Casual-Style-in-Your-60s-Needs-and-Wants-1.jpg


Or more casual?

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Yes, Dracula wore fashionable modern clothes, more-or-less, in London when he left Transylvania in the 1800s, no reason he wouldn’t do the same in today’s world IF he was trying to “pass” as human (which would be way more difficult today with pervasive electricity and recording media). However, he’d still dress in black. Dracula ALWAYS dresses in black.
 
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