G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

[Justice]

Zartan did not disappoint!

 

[Damien]

That's what your mom said.

 

[docsilence]

Any new requests? I think I caught up with the last round!

 

[Damien]

Desert Scorpion. Why are they so cool, and why do they have mutated giant scorpions hanging around with them?
And naturally.. we gotta see Serpentor now.
Looking over at my shelves, I'd also love Slice and Dice, if for no other reason than to see how the Ninja Force '90s-ness can fit into all of this.
Also, have you really not done Croc Master?
Or in honor of all the sweet stuff we're getting next year... Snow Serpents? I don't think you've done the SAW Viper yet, either.

 

[Ru1977]

Damien ate all the requests! We could have gone for weeks but now they're all gone!

 

[Chooch555]

Some frost themed figures - maybe they were all hanging out together in Antarctica and haven't officially come back. Or maybe they're protecting Greenland from invasion.

 

[docsilence]

I was actually going to ask for some Viper-level character requests since that day I did a bunch of generic troopers was a lot of fun. Speaking of, Scar-Face incoming momentarily.

 

[docsilence]

Code Name: Scar-Face
File Name: Classified
Primary Military Specialty: Courier
Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence
Birthplace: Classified
Rank: E-6 (Cobra Equivalent)

Subject is employed as Rexford Lewis's body man and personal attaché. How he came to become one of Lewis's go-to agents is a mystery both internally and beyond; while not public knowledge, members of the Lewis team are aware that the agent, known colloquially as "Scar-Face" due to two distinct scars running vertically across each eye, held the rank of officer in the Cobra paramilitary organization though any documentation of his activities in that role have been scrubbed clean. Currently, he acts as a courier, messenger, bodyguard, and fixer answering only to Lewis himself. The mystery behind Scar-Face and his enduring presence in the Lewis administration remains a vexing question not only to civilian supporters but to former Cobra operatives themselves.

"You know that old saying, 'give me luck and s*** will do for brains'? That should be this guy's motto. There has been no one in all our years fighting Cobra who has turned up randomly to either be wrench in the gears, a fly in the ointment, a pain in the a**. And I'm gonna be honest, he shouldn't even be alive, because all those times he's turned up? I'm not sure he knows how he got there either. Dude's like a fool in a Shakespeare play. The whole situation would be kind of funny if it weren't for the fact that he shows up right when what we didn't need is one more guy tipping the scale in Cobra's favor..."

From the desk of the Baroness: "A man who has mistaken luck for genius. Nevertheless, he remains an exploitable asset to maintain a view into Lewis's mental state - the president uses him like a confessional, unaware that though he tries, discretion is not one of Scar-Face's strongest skillsets."

 

[Ru1977]

Awwwwww, that was perfect! Yes, you hit all the beat with him and made him maybe not more clever than in the comic but still someone to take seriously, and a very potential Achilles heel for Lewis.

Is the first commentary Stalker? And I love getting Baroness's perspective on these upper Cobra's.

 

[Damien]

I was actually going to ask for some Viper-level character requests since that day I did a bunch of generic troopers was a lot of fun. Speaking of, Scar-Face incoming momentarily.

My vote is still for Desert Scorpion and/or Snow Serpents, then. For sure. I don't think you've done Techno-Vipers yet either, though, right? I don't know if you ever followed Alex over at Toys and Tomfoolery, but his shit with techno-vipers is TOP TIER comedy and I don't know if any version of techno-vipers will ever beat his, but it also means I have a tough time taking them seriously.

 

[Ru1977]

Desert Scorpion is a solid choice, and Snow Serpent was always a favorite for me. And both could be single guys too, or trooper type.

 

[Mikey D]

I also want to know what that weirdo Croc Master is up to.

Mutt and Junkyard, but only if the latter is chasing after some Gravy Seals who decided to start some shit

Tunnel Rat

 

[docsilence]

I also want to know what that weirdo Croc Master is up to.

Mutt and Junkyard, but only if the latter is chasing after some Gravy Seals who decided to start some shit

Tunnel Rat

These are three guys who have been on my radar for a while. I actually know exactly where Croc Master is but just haven't written him up yet!

(And I do want to do some arctic stuff as Damien and Ru point out - I have an idea where Cobra sent its extreme cold troops...)

 

[docsilence]

I think I'm devising an unofficial tier system for Cobra troops. Viper Mark 1 (standard ground troop) Mark 2 (distinct specialization) Mark 3 (advanced specialization - Snow Serpent file card specifically says they are upgraded EELs, whom I think are probably upgraded Vipers...

Code Name: Snow Serpent
File Name: Various
Primary Military Specialty: Arctic Operations
Secondary Military Specialty: Infantry
Birthplace: Various
Rank: Viper Mark 3 (Specialist)

When Rexford Lewis took office, generally two things happened with the various men and women who made up the Viper brigades. Some were incorporated in an official capacity into U.S. military or law enforcement branches as a means to infiltrate and build support for Lewis as commander in chief; or for those who could not be easily woven into existing military or paramilitary branches, were placed under the command of Major Bludd to keep the Cobra organization alive and active. One specific team was not relegated to either role: the Snow Serpents. This squad, alongside a detachment of BATs redesigned for cold weather operations and a support staff of drivers trained for arctic conditions, were detached to Nepal for a need-to-know off the books operation by order of Lewis himself. All details about their current mission and if it is in relation so the U.S. government or Cobra, remain classified.

"Lewis was always prone to chasing ghosts. Particularly in his guise as Cobra Commander, but he maintains a strange fascination with the arcane, the obscene, and the truly weird - it's why so many mystics and charlatans have been on his payroll over the decades. I have seen the reports and research that led him to send a covert detachment of hardened, cold-weather expert Navy Seal-equivalent troops into the most dangerous mountain climb on earth. He's seeking a lost civilization that he believes will give him power to not only remain in office but expand his influence beyond the U.S. and across the world. But as I said, I have seen the research, and while I believe it has to be nothing more than folklore, if it is in fact steeped in truth... what he finds there is just as likely to destroy him as it is to grant him the power he seeks."

 

[Ru1977]

I think I'm devising an unofficial tier system for Cobra troops. Viper Mark 1 (standard ground troop) Mark 2 (distinct specialization) Mark 3 (advanced specialization - Snow Serpent file card specifically says they are upgraded EELs, whom I think are probably upgraded Vipers...

This is a fantastic idea and I need to see a breakdown immediately.

When Rexford Lewis took office, generally two things happened with the various men and women who made up the Viper brigades. Some were incorporated in an official capacity into U.S. military or law enforcement branches as a means to infiltrate and build support for Lewis as commander in chief; or for those who could not be easily woven into existing military or paramilitary branches, were placed under the command of Major Bludd to keep the Cobra organization alive and active. One specific team was not relegated to either role: the Snow Serpents.

Appreciate the exposition, and sweet twist.

This squad, alongside a detachment of BATs redesigned for cold weather operations

Ooooooh, setting up another card!

and a support staff of drivers trained for arctic conditions,

Come on Ice Vipers. So maybe they're tier three of the Motor-Vipers?

were detached to Nepal for a need-to-know off the books operation by order of Lewis himself. All details about their current mission and if it is in relation so the U.S. government or Cobra, remain classified.

Fuck yeah!

"Lewis was always prone to chasing ghosts. Particularly in his guise as Cobra Commander, but he maintains a strange fascination with the arcane, the obscene, and the truly weird - it's why so many mystics and charlatans have been on his payroll over hte decades.

Typo, but also this is a great explanation.

I have seen the reports and research that led him to send a covert detachment of hardened, cold-weather expert Navy Seal-equivalent troops into the most dangerous mountain climb on earth.

I always thought of Eels that way too. It's funny when some are fighting sharks with Storm Shadow and he tells them "even if you guys survive the sharks, you still have to fight me". And of course he is the only one to reach the beach.

He's seeking a lost civilization that he believes will give him power to not only remain in office but expand his influence beyond the U.S. and across the world. But as I said, I have seen the research, and while I believe it has to be nothing more than folklore, if it is in fact steeped in truth... what he finds there is just as likely to destroy him as it is to grant him the power he seeks."

Shit, they've gotta get a team over there ASAP with more than some HAVOCs!

Terrific setup!