G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Damien said:
To be fair, the -real world- bad guys wanted your grandmother to just die to save the economy. So stealing their social security checks is kind of a step up in 2025.
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Okay, I did not have Headman or Cesspool on my list yet but reading about these two douchenozzles they just moved up the file card priority list like all the way to the top. They are TOO REAL
 
Code Name: Cesspool
File Name: D'Alleva, Vincent A.
Primary Military Specialty: Chief Executive Officer
Secondary Military Specialty: Laboratory Director
Birthplace: Newton, Massachusetts
Rank: N/A

D'Alleva is in a unique position with the Lewis administration - an American citizen whose work with Cobra was not known outside of sources like the GI Joe Unit and other key figures who have since been discredited and disavowed by the U.S. government. The former CEO of a multi-national corporation with holdings in the oil industry, chemical production, mills, and research and development, D'Alleva had the perfect set of skills to become the head of Lewis's Environmental Protection Agency as well as advising the Department of Energy. D'Alleva has taken this opportunity to both enrich himself and Lewis, but also take revenge on business and political enemies - and push funding into research projects aimed at creating a more docile, compliant workforce. HIs work in turning the Zombie-Viper serum into a mass-produced consumer product has been kept top secret. He is also working in direct competition with Dr. Mindbender on a super-soldier formula to revolutionize the American military.

"In America, perhaps in history, you cannot be a CEO and a good man at the same time, and Cesspool is a walking example of this. He is not only fueled by greed, pettiness, and revenge; the man simply does not view people who are of no benefit to him as human. HIs employees are drones, and the public simply peons to be taken advantage of. He's convinced his injuries were due to eco-activists instead of his own cheaping out on safety regulations in his own lab and he's making that accident everyone's problem. His Plasma-Tox aerosol is the worst thing to happen to humanity since mustard gas. He's one of three people I check the paper for every day to see if he's died. And you know what? The scar was an improvement. He looks like an arse holding back a fart."

From Destro's personal files: "I am an arms dealer and, arguably, a war criminal, but compared to the depravity of Cesspool, I am an angel in God's own heaven. Working with Cobra I have met many terrible men. D'Alleva may be the worst."
 
It's almost shocking how on-point it was even in the original file card that someone easily argued as not just 'an enemy of G.I. Joe' but an enemy of humanity and the very planet we live on was a CEO.
 
Damien said:
It's almost shocking how on-point it was even in the original file card that someone easily argued as not just 'an enemy of G.I. Joe' but an enemy of humanity and the very planet we live on was a CEO.
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Yeah, it’s depressing how far we’ve fallen—even back then, destroying the world was overtly a villainous thing to do and the card recognized who the real bad guys are. We’ve regressed so much as a society. And the 80s were still pretty bad…
 
docsilence said:
Yeah, it’s depressing how far we’ve fallen—even back then, destroying the world was overtly a villainous thing to do and the card recognized who the real bad guys are. We’ve regressed so much as a society. And the 80s were still pretty bad…
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Did you ever watch the episode of the original TMNT cartoon where the bad guy was obviously Donald Trump?
 
How long some people have known, at least.
Epstein knew. He said it in his private communications. I feel like we don't spend enough time talking about how a literal child-rapist sex trafficker thought ol' Donnie was the worst person he ever met. But that's for the politics thread, I suppose.

Are we doing Headman (and his Headhunters) next? Or did you get inspired by 'the only thing we know is he smells bad' guy?
 
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