G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

[docsilence]

Code Name: Jinx (Disavowed)
File Name: Classified
Primary Military Specialty: Intelligence
Secondary Military Specialty: Finance Clerk
Birthplace: Los Angeles, California
Rank: E-5

Subject was the third member of the team stationed in Nama-Petgardi at the time the GI Joe Unit was disbanded, acting as the intelligence officer for the team as they trained and assisted local militia against Cobra attempts to grow their power base on the sub-Antarctic nation. She returned as expected when the team was recalled following the Lewis administration's dismantling of the force. Surveillance followed her for several days following her dismissal; on the third day all trace of her was gone. Agents have unverified sightings of her across the country; though unconfirmed, it appears she is acting as a vigilante, tracking down ties between the U.S. government, the Lewis administration, and Cobra. Her work has brought her into contact with gun and drug smuggling operations, though all efforts have been made to obscure any connection between these operators and the administration. She is considered kill on sight.

"Jinx is getting it done. She strolls into these neon-streaked nightclubs pretending to be a party girl and then just dismantles people til she gets the answers she wants. She's not making any friends - half the drug kingpins and mafia dons in the country want her dead. But she's been to the Secret Mountain and studied the Seven Silent Forms under the Blind Master. Nothing scares her. Nothing should. These scumbags should be afraid of her - and they are. She's the red goddess of death moving along the grimy underbelly of America. I don't envy anyone who gets in her way and she drags these ugly truths out into the light."

 

[Ru1977]

I shouldn't be surprised you made her such a wonderful badass, but... you really made her such a wonderful badass. Do you have a nightclub backdrop? heh heh.

 

[docsilence]

I shouldn't be surprised you made her such a wonderful badass, but... you really made her such a wonderful badass. Do you have a nightclub backdrop? heh heh.

I don't have a specific nightclub backdrop but I've got lighting gels I can use to create grimy cyberpunk-style nightclub lighting. Already getting ideas. Gonna have to get some dudes in suits set up for her to beat up.

 

[Ru1977]

Hell yeah, nice! And yeah, can't have her fighting just a bunch of guys who look like TV's Hector Ramirez!

 

[docsilence]

Code Name: Crimson Guard Commanders (Former)
File Name: Tomax and Xamot Paoli
Primary Military Specialty: infiltration, espionage, sabotage
Secondary Military Specialty: Propaganda and corporate law
Birthplace: Corsica, France
Rank: N/A

Arguably there are no two men more important to the success of the Lewis administration than Tomax and Xamot Paoli. While they are foreign nationals and therefore cannot legally hold cabinet positions, unofficially they leverage their deep expertise in the fields of finance and corporate and international law to guide the administration's Treasury Department and Attorney General, as well as carry weight with the State Department due to their expertise on foreign affairs and take an ancillary role in the Department of Defense. If Rexford Lewis is the head of the country, Tomax and Xamot are the two hemispheres of his brain. Few in the administration are comfortable with the prominence the two men maintain; American officials in search of power and influence dislike how much of both the Paoli twins carry, while former Cobra operatives dislike how quickly and easily they rose to the top of the ranks while many others have been cast aside. They only thing staving off rumors they seek to unseat Lewis in the next election is their foreign-born status, and the brothers' willingness to work in the shadows instead of taking on the spotlight.

"Tomax and Xamot are everything the rest of Cobra's leadership are not. They are warriors, but lack Bludd's bloodthirst and overt lack of subtlety. They are as clever as Baroness but are more willing to forego ego to take on more subtle power. They are brilliant but in a controlled, un-messy way, unlike Mindbender. And they have Destro's strength of will but have a far more flexible system of ethics compared to his. In total: they make for perfect politicians. Both have amassed incredible wealth by exploiting the access their rolls allow them, but they do not flaunt it and they make sure Lewis is always happy with their work - the better to maintain the grift long-term. But at some point the wheels have to come off this thing. They're too smart to be lackies and too dangerous to be fall guys. Lewis is one misstep away from finding himself on the wrong end of a feud with the twins, but until that happens, they seem perfectly willing to tow the party line as long as they can exploit every system in the country for profit."

 

[Ru1977]

That was so perfect for them. I love the comparison and contrast with the other prominent Cobras.

 

[docsilence]

That was so perfect for them. I love the comparison and contrast with the other prominent Cobras.

I've been saving them because they feel PIVOTAL to the story. As the resident bankers and lawyers, they might actually be the most evil members of Cobra. Mindbender only fucks with genetics and commits war crimes; the Paoli twins fuck with financial markets.

 

[Ru1977]

Yeah you're right, they have their hands in so much dirty stuff all over the world.

 

[Chooch555]

Them as the foreigners with the real power that make those paying attention uneasy is great.

 

[Chooch555]

(Also, hate to say it, but small typo in Jinx's card. Offer instead of Officer)

 

[docsilence]

(Also, hate to say it, but small typo in Jinx's card. Offer instead of Officer)

This is one of those cases where pointing out the typo is appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Damien]

Please tell me the Jinx card and stuff about gangs and the mob and gun runners and such is a way to bring in the characters from the anti-drug DEF era of Joe, like Headman and Bulletproof. Either way, fantastic write-up.

Also that's the first time I've ever been interested in the twins. Now I almost love the idea of them eventually deposing and replacing Cobra Commander. Something I'd never even considered before.

 

[docsilence]

I hadn't even thought about using her to bring those characters in but man, that's a good idea.

The twins FASCINATE me. In most media they're just a silly gimmick but their original file card is WILD. It specifically says they were in the Foreign Legion as paras until the Officers Putsch which, when writing up their card last night, sent me on a historic deep dive about the history of the Foreign Legion, what the hell a putsch is, the whole backstory of French Algeria and the move toward Algerian self-determination, and how many of Cobra's main characters are veterans of the bush wars of Africa and South America and what that might mean for them in terms of motivation and political standpoints. (Depending on if they wanted to be there or not, it really informs their world views.) And then the idea that soldiering wasn't enough for them so they went into the business world to apply the same level of viciousness...

Anyway, the twins' original file card is a goldmine and i can't believe it was on the back of a toy in 1985.

 

[Ru1977]

I hadn't even thought about using her to bring those characters in but man, that's a good idea.

The twins FASCINATE me. In most media they're just a silly gimmick but their original file card is WILD. It specifically says they were in the Foreign Legion as paras until the Officers Putsch which, when writing up their card last night, sent me on a historic deep dive about the history of the Foreign Legion, what the hell a putsch is, the whole backstory of French Algeria and the move toward Algerian self-determination, and how many of Cobra's main characters are veterans of the bush wars of Africa and South America and what that might mean for them in terms of motivation and political standpoints. (Depending on if they wanted to be there or not, it really informs their world views.) And then the idea that soldiering wasn't enough for them so they went into the business world to apply the same level of viciousness...

Goddamn but all that is incredible stuff. I know it's not the same, but it made me think of Andrew Vachss, who was one of my favorite authors (and I got to meet him, and surprisingly for such a hard man, he was wonderful). From his wiki:

He worked in Biafra,entering the war zone just before the fall of the country. There he worked to find a land route to bring donated food and medical supplies across the border after the seaports were blocked and Red Cross airlifts banned by the Nigerian government; however, all attempts ultimately failed, resulting in rampant starvation.

But that feels like a damned Joe backstory.

A little more:

fter he returned and recovered from his injuries, including malaria and malnutrition, Vachss studied community organizing in 1970 under Saul Alinsky. He worked as a labor organizer and ran a self-help center for urban migrants in Chicago. He then managed a re-entry program for ex-convicts in Massachusetts, and finally directed a maximum-security prison for violent juvenile offenders.

As an attorney, Vachss represented only children and adolescents.

Anyway, the twins' original file card is a goldmine and i can't believe it was on the back of a toy in 1985.

SERIOUSLY. Again, these toys had such rich backstories and were just incredibly layered.

 

[docsilence]

BTW, Wild Weasel's card also points out he was a veteran of the bush wars of South America, and that does make me curious why and who he was working for. (Yeah, his card is coming up)