G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

BY REQUEST:

Code Name: Ice Cream Soldier
File Name: Ragan, Tom-Henry
Primary Military Specialty: Fire Operations Expert
Secondary Military Specialty: Barbecue Chef
Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island
Rank: E-5

The administration has tried, has put in a good effort, to treat our surveillance on retired GI Joe Unit members with if not respect, at least professionalism. Some of these Joes have plotted against us; some have taken actual paramilitary action against the Lewis administration. Some ore truly dangerous terrorists. We simply do not know what to do about Tom-Henry Ragan. Ragan accepted early retirement on the condition that his payout included an ice cream budget. The administration decided it was simpler to divert part of his cash payments to an account with Brigham's Ice Cream. Since that time, surveillance on Ragan has found he does two things: feeds his sweet tooth, and uses a home-made flamethrower on old cars in a burned out pit of a junkyard in Warwick, Rhode Island. We don't think he's motivated enough to actually work against the administration; we do believe he is unwell enough to burn down the entire state of Rhode Island.

"Ice Cream Soldier is never beating those war crime allegations. Do you know that even Hawk doesn't know how Ragan was assigned to the Joes? He just showed up one day with a costume that looked like it was stolen from the set of the Black Hole and went to work. None of us hung out with him. I don't know if he has a wife or kids. I'm not entirely sure he's not a serial killer. But what he's doing is scaring the hell out of Lewis's goons, and that works in our favor. An ice cream obsessed, heavily PTSD soldier setting cars on fire in a dump of a city outside a dump of a city? You can't PAY for that level of psy-ops. Do I want him over for a game of gin rummy? No. He does make a mean barbecue though. Those short ribs? To die for."
 
Everything I know about ICS I learned from this filecard but damn that is crazy and I kinda want his figure heh
 
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Doc's magic at work again. I have literally no idea what I even wanted for ICS. I just know he's one of my favorite vintage figures for no reason at all. This card is equal parts silly and disturbing. Goofball flamethrower guy burns cars and loves ice cream. But clearly he is also deeply unwell and possibly/probably/definitely super dangerous.

In my personal head cannon, he definitely shows up -out of nowhere- to deal with the mole rat problem and then just fucks off again.
 
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