G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

[Ru1977]

So glad they have it under a tarp as I was worried about satellites. So awesome, and so glad I have their figures already! Heh heh. Also love that they have a HAVOC.

 

[Damien]

Love it. Somehow, though I'd never really given the character much thought, it ONLY makes sense to go that direction with Mutt. I don't think I would have bought it if he were a quiet, stable guy that shrugged and agreed to leave peaceably. I also love that even the fictional, insane Lewis Administration is smarter than Kristy Noem when it comes to parading around the idea that you murdered a fucking dog being stupid as fuck.

You gotta stop making me want figures I skipped, though. Friends don't do that to friends.


Also, I just realized you never did another one we do have a figure of already: Wild Bill. How does a -cowboy pilot- handle all this? We'll have to find out one day.

 

[docsilence]

So glad they have it under a tarp as I was worried about satellites. So awesome, and so glad I have their figures already! Heh heh. Also love that they have a HAVOC.

I threw the HAVOC in there specifically because we all have VERY strong feelings about that ridiculous vehicle!

I almost made Mutt into a dog trainer but I realized - nah, Mutt doesn't train dogs for other people. Dogs just listen to him, because he's as crazy as they are.

 

[docsilence]

Love it. Somehow, though I'd never really given the character much thought, it ONLY makes sense to go that direction with Mutt. I don't think I would have bought it if he were a quiet, stable guy that shrugged and agreed to leave peaceably. I also love that even the fictional, insane Lewis Administration is smarter than Kristy Noem when it comes to parading around the idea that you murdered a fucking dog being stupid as fuck.

You gotta stop making me want figures I skipped, though. Friends don't do that to friends.


Also, I just realized you never did another one we do have a figure of already: Wild Bill. How does a -cowboy pilot- handle all this? We'll have to find out one day.

Wild Bill has been on my list since Day 1, but trying to get him just right cos Bill is so damned weird, but so damned classic.

And I'm really enjoying making Lewis smarter than our current psychopath. Like comic book Cobra Commander is not an idiot. He's dangerously smart, and I want to convey that in everything he does. (His downfall isn't stupidity, it's arrogance.)

 

[docsilence]

It's "weird animal handler night" in here:

Code Name: Croc Master
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Security
Secondary Military Specialty: Sabotage
Birthplace: Unknown
Rank: N/A

Of all the former Cobra operatives, one might think that Croc Master was among the least likely to find a role in the legitimate organization of the Lewis administration. Strangely enough, Croc Master returned to his former civilian life and re-started his old company, Guard Gators, Inc., and while his scheme to normalize the use of alligators and crocodiles for home security failed (again), Lewis suggested that his company might make a perfect contractor for the high security prison he intended to build in Florida. Guard Gators, Inc., currently has one client, and that client is the U.S. government (though several South American governments have since inquired about his services; off the record, part of Croc Master's lucrative contract with the U.S. is that Lewis himself has right of first refusal should any other sovereign nation seek to employ Croc Master). Since bringing Guard Gators, Inc. onboard, the escape rate from the Florida facility has been 0%.

"He is a profoundly strange man. One might think that he was a bloodthirsty killer, a cruel man delighting in the suffering of others; but in truth he cares deeply for the reptiles he raises and trains, and refers to their security work as "enrichment" and 'giving meaning to their lives.' I don't claim to understand reptiles in any real capacity, but I always assumed that, unlike mammals, they did not engage in affection or warmth, that no matter how well you trained them, they would still see their human caretakers as food or prey. But I have personally witnessed Croc Master sleeping soundly among them, floating on his back with just his face breaking the surface. I have seen his largest crocodiles leap to his defense when a Lewis administration representative has tried to speak down to Croc Master or stiff him on a fee. I am not a superstitious person, but if ever there was a supernatural connection between man and beast, I have seen it between Croc Master and his reptiles. There is something primordial about it, like a prehistoric man taming a dinosaur, or some grim warrior calling dragons to his side..."

 

[docsilence]

Third one tonight, cos when it rains it pours:

Code Name: Slice
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Swordcraft
Secondary Military Specialty: Espionage
Birthplace: Jonestown, UK
Rank: N/A

The Lewis administration has maintained a strong collaborative connection with the Ninja Force operatives who had previously worked with the Cobra organization. Slice - let the record show that no other name or identifier has been listed for this individual - is currently under contract as an off-the-books black ops agent provocateur for missions specifically commissioned by Lewis himself. He has acted as special liaison to the Arashikage clan in Japan as Lewis has made overtures to the clan to collaborate; and is currently on assignment in the European Union, monitoring the movements of Dashiell Faireborn in the event Lewis wishes the former Joe eliminated quietly.

"My cousin seems determined to not only sully the Arashikage clan with his actions, but to take us all down with him. He is a brilliant swordsman and a ninja of the highest skill; but he seems determined, in all things to choose the darker path if one is presented to him. I do not think it is greed or malice; I simply think some men are born with a shadow in their soul, and Slice is one such man. I worried once that he acts against the best interest of our clan to spite me, or our Masters. But I don't think he cares much at all about any of us. There is something of the tengu in him - he is a demon of disruption and a harbinger of war. I dread the day we must lock blades for the final time, because I know if someone needs put him down, it must be me."

 

[docsilence]

One more for the night, cos you can't have Slice without Dice:

Code Name: Dice
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Ninja Commando
Secondary Military Specialty: Protective Services
Birthplace: Unknown
Rank: N/A

There was a pervasive rumor in the days before Lewis took office that Dice (file name unknown) was a former Night Creeper operative who had survived a falling out with the clandestine organization. While his history with the Night Creepers remains officially unconfirmed, he has, under Lewis, taken command of the Night Creepers, acting as their "jonin" and Lewis's personal contact for off-the-books missions. Dice will, on occasion, act as a private bodyguard for Lewis at events determined to be high risk but at which a heavy military or secret agent presence would raise concerns. Night Creepers are employed as secret protective service agents in this case, with Dice as their head. When not working directly with Lewis in this regard, Dice continues his partnership with his former partner, Slice, on international black ops orders.

"Dice likes his secrets. It's a ninja thing. Ever met a ninja who wants you to know about his past? But I did some digging after a run-in with a group of Night Creepers in L.A. a few months back. He didn't leave the Night Creepers over some argument about a dagger. There was a disagreement over the future of the clan, and Dice was in the center of the storm. He was run out upon penalty of death. He found something when he was out there traveling the world with Slice - some mystic relic, something that allowed him to wrest control of the clan back. And now the Night Creepers answer to him. His motivations are still unclear, but his actions have changed the power structure of one of the most prominent ninja clans still active in the modern world, and that scares me. Especially considering they seem to have an exclusive contract with Lewis himself..."

 

[Damien]

I don't know what I expected from Croc Master, but it wasn't that. A modern day warrior with his dragon? Jeez. I already thought it was a cool toy. You didn't have to make him THAT cool. And I like the idea that he's bonded to the animals instead of it being an Ivan Drago 'if he dies, he dies' attitude.
Florida death prison is ripped straight out of real modern headlines, unfortunately, but it's fitting here at least.

Slice is fantastic. Always one of my favorites on the Cobra side and a regular foil for Ninja Force Storm Shadow in my backyard. Absolutely love the 'he's got some of that tengu in him' and just making him an agent of chaos and disorder is excellent and goes against (I assume) most peoples' expectations of all the ninja guys being devoted to order and some kind of purity code for good or ill.
Dice is great as well. I like that it doesn't tie him directly back to Slice as a 'you have one, you gotta have the other' situation. Love that tie-in to the Night Creepers, but this does leave me wondering what's going on with Night Creeper Leader (another of my absolute favorite toys growing up).

Four bios in a day makes me feel like I won the lottery.

 

[Ru1977]

In a word, dayum. A lot of times you'll do characters I like okay or not particularly even but completely sell me on them quickly. But these guys were ones I was already into, and you still managed to deliver. Croc Master felt elevated. Is the commentary Baroness? I agree Slice was surprising, but really really great. Was that Storm Shadow? I really appreciate Cobras still out there doing Cobra shit but now for the legitimate side. It's horrible and scary but tangible and real and I can't wait for this to be countered. And again agree with Damien on Dice. Awesome to see a side of him that isn't "& Dice", since Slice was always the standout of the duo and I never saw Dice as having his own identity. Another couple figures I'm so glad I already own! And his commentary.... Scarlett maybe?

 

[NORM]

Did you get around to Law & Order? I feel like they would be the yang to Mutt and Junkyard’s yin. Military Police, following orders, by the book until maybe push comes to shove? Or he works as an insider double agent or something?

 

[Mikey D]

Did you get around to Law & Order? I feel like they would be the yang to Mutt and Junkyard’s yin. Military Police, following orders, by the book until maybe push comes to shove? Or he works as an insider double agent or something?

I always assumed M&J and/or L&O were part of Airborne's security force, but M&J's path makes perfect sense. It feels like Law & Order now fit in with Airborne's arc. Unless I'm mistaken, I think Shockwave's the ex-cop on the inside. Yep, just read Shockwave's card again. He's working on the inside undermining Lewis' operations.

Well done on all, doc.

 

[docsilence]

'he's got some of that tengu in him'

We're given so little about him other than he MIGHT be Arashikage and he's VERY EEEVIL that I wanted to find some deeper purpose for him. Dug around in Japanese mythology looking for something that fit and the harbinger or war thing felt just right.

Dice is great as well. I like that it doesn't tie him directly back to Slice as a 'you have one, you gotta have the other' situation. Love that tie-in to the Night Creepers, but this does leave me wondering what's going on with Night Creeper Leader (another of my absolute favorite toys growing up).

I definitely wanted them to have distinct paths, and one of the few things we get from his old file card is "he's too eeeeevil for the Night Creepers!" So I dug into that a bit.

Is the commentary Baroness?

Yup!

Was that Storm Shadow?

Yup!

And his commentary.... Scarlett maybe?

Jinx doing her John Wick shit in LA from her card, actually.

Did you get around to Law & Order? I feel like they would be the yang to Mutt and Junkyard’s yin. Military Police, following orders, by the book until maybe push comes to shove? Or he works as an insider double agent or something?

Did you get around to Law & Order?

I have an idea for them - I figure any cop-type who ends up on the Joes team is probably a bit of a rule breaker even if he pretends to be about enforcement and I see him following the "I didn't fit in on the force" vibe from private detective stories He's coming up.

Yep, just read Shockwave's card again. He's working on the inside undermining Lewis' operations.

Exactly - I didn't want to repeat the same story for both of them, and Shockwave's so specifically SWAT that I thought he better fit with the role of staying on.

 

[Damien]

Law was one I wasn't really interested in because he's a boring guy who does boring MP stuff while being boring. But bring in 'didn't fit into the Force, private detective vibes' and now my interest is piqued.

 

[Chooch555]

Great round @docsilence ! Side story from the old DC Direct message board days. When they released the Mask of Tengu figure folks were disappointed to put it mildly given the other options. Someone derided the choice by using the phrase "took a tengu" and ever since I cannot help but associate the word with taking a shit.

 

[Ru1977]

We're given so little about him other than he MIGHT be Arashikage and he's VERY EEEVIL that I wanted to find some deeper purpose for him. Dug around in Japanese mythology looking for something that fit and the harbinger or war thing felt just right.

Yeah, that was a great call!

I definitely wanted them to have distinct paths, and one of the few things we get from his old file card is "he's too eeeeevil for the Night Creepers!" So I dug into that a bit.

That really worked, and I appreciate getting more in depth than "eeeeevil" heh.

Yup!

Yup!

Jinx doing her John Wick shit in LA from her card, actually.

Shit, well two out of three isn't bad. I don't know why I forgot about Jinx! But that was a better choice than Scarlett, yeah.

I have an idea for them - I figure any cop-type who ends up on the Joes team is probably a bit of a rule breaker even if he pretends to be about enforcement and I see him following the "I didn't fit in on the force" vibe from private detective stories He's coming up.

Nice! Yeah, that's a great angle, and also differentiates him from Shockwave as well. Man, what will you once you have to start getting into the DEF guys?

Exactly - I didn't want to repeat the same story for both of them, and Shockwave's so specifically SWAT that I thought he better fit with the role of staying on.

Definitely agree. The type who believes in what they're supposed to be about and angry at what they really are.