G.I. Joe Classified Series

Sgt. Beef
Armored Battle Bull
Proficient with all NATO and Warsaw Pact explosives, detonators, ignition initiators and blasting machines
"You ain't seen nothin' till you seen Sgt. Beef clop onto the battlefield. You think an M1 Abrams is intimidating? Wait til you've got 2,500 pounds of pure American lean steak charging at you, fully armored in modular plating, with a back-mounted gatling gun blazin'... We sent him in stompin' and snortin' and then it's just us cleaning up the cowpies COBRA leaves behind when they start runnin'!"
 
You're stumblin mighty close to Cowboys of Moo Mesa territory
2-53b7f354eaf4213a482b3a44c1567d24.jpg
 
Milk Viper
Cobra Dairy Bomber
Name: Betsy Udder
"Most of the time, Vipers are just jumped up Cobra troopers. Better gear, bit more training, survived a skirmish or twelve. Thought I'd seen every gimmick the whackos in Cobra R&D could come up with. Pogo stick attack vehicles, stuff like that. But we're in a heavy firefight in Punto del Mucosa back in '86. Neither side is gaining any ground. And then I hear a sound I'll remember on my death bed: the kind of 'moo' that sounds like it's coming from the Devil's own farm. Then we saw the dairy vipers. The Lt. starts laughing, right? Cows. Little themed Cobra bells around their necks. Wandering onto No Man's Land. One of the grunts asked if they were using landmines to make hamburgers. Then the cows... stood up on their hind legs. We could see the chrome on their utters from half a click away. Then the mooing stopped. And those Milk Vipers started shooting. I've taken my coffee black ever since."
 
docsilence said:
Milk Viper
Cobra Dairy Bomber
Name: Betsy Udder
"Most of the time, Vipers are just jumped up Cobra troopers. Better gear, bit more training, survived a skirmish or twelve. Thought I'd seen every gimmick the whackos in Cobra R&D could come up with. Pogo stick attack vehicles, stuff like that. But we're in a heavy firefight in Punto del Mucosa back in '86. Neither side is gaining any ground. And then I hear a sound I'll remember on my death bed: the kind of 'moo' that sounds like it's coming from the Devil's own farm. Then we saw the dairy vipers. The Lt. starts laughing, right? Cows. Little themed Cobra bells around their necks. Wandering onto No Man's Land. One of the grunts asked if they were using landmines to make hamburgers. Then the cows... stood up on their hind legs. We could see the chrome on their utters from half a click away. Then the mooing stopped. And those Milk Vipers started shooting. I've taken my coffee black ever since."
Click to expand...
🤣🤣🤣
 
The CLAW keeps appearing as "Low Stock" on Pulse and selling out again. I dunno if it's people cancelling preorders or what, but I've seen it three times since the weekend, and I'm barely checking now. So anyone that still wants one, I'd refresh that page a bunch.
 
Could be people doing that. I bet there are several that ordered multiples in that initial "OMG gotta have it before it sells out" rush only to come to their senses later and realize they didn't need that many.
 
For some reason social media has sent three different clips of Mara from the cartoon into my feed and now I want Shipwreck's purple, amphibious genetically engineered love interest in Classified format.
 
This may have been mentioned at some point, but in the Retro Card line we've got Cover Girl coming up. The Cover Girl figure looks like her from some of her appearances from the Cartoons, and not the vintage A Real American Hero toy from the vintage line.


I thought the point of the Retro Card line was to make characters as they looked in the ARAH toy line. Did Hasbro ever state what made them choose this look for Cover Girl, and if they would also be doing other Cartoon based figures in the Retro card line?
 
A couple of the latest Retro figures are more cartoon inspired (Breaker, Cover Girl, I believe the Tele-Viper was listed as a 'toon version as well). The Snake Eyes with polar bear is as well, and of course the SDCC set is Cold Slither. Seems like they may lean a lot more into the cartoon verse going forward in general.
 
https://imgur.com/a/D2F3o1Y
https://imgur.com/a/vzqbcCb


Codename: Coldblood

File name: unknown

Birthplace: unknown

Primary MOS: experimental weaponry

Secondary MOS: sub-zero operations

Coldblood is rurmored to be a direct blood relative of Cobra Commander himself. It is thought within Cobra that he has obtained advanced engineering degrees from ETH Zurich and Harvard university. He isolates himself in a remote arctic laboratory perfecting the use of bleeding edge weaponry. He maintains a cool, almost reptilian distance from the rank and file of Cobra and cares little for their cause. He is satisfied to freely turn his various deadly devices over to Cobra free of charge in exchange for a basically unlimited budget for experiments and Cobra’s “hands off” approach to ethical experimentation.

Coldblood is highly arrogant and has extreme disdain for all military and working class people. He believes his brilliance places him innately above the “commoners”.

Coldblood is highly competent and physically fit. He has cross trained with the Snow serspents and EEL teams. He also has disturbingly accurate aim. His suit is made of a light composite material that is completely resistant to most commonly available ammunition.

Coldblood has never been observed without his helmet or special suit. He is a coward at heart and he will retreat or even beg for his life if his technology and fancy weapons are overcome.


He carries a device that can emit rapidly cooled air moisture. The moisture mixes with a proprietary chemical compound in his back pack and essentially functions as a type of weaponized liquid nitrogen. With an adjustment of his controls, he can use this to create Thick ice shields, camouflage,barriers, and traps.

Coldblood has worked alongside MARS industries and Destro personally to develop cobras latest Polar dominance weapon…
The Wendigo

From Major Bludd’s file:

“He believes that a soldier is nothing more than a useful tool. That’s something with which I’ll agree!
Your men will tell you: you’re the fool who’s going to find out and see!”
 
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