G.I. Joe Classified Series

docsilence said:
Rattler is here! Now five hours of meetings before I can open it, but hey, life is all about finding something to look forward to.

I've also got a small mystery package arriving from Pulse with USPS today. Might be Blowtorch. Might be Darklon. Might be Footloose. Who knows! Whoever it it, it's a Joe-riffic day. (Actually it might be Archangel, but I got that charge last.)
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*sneaks into your office, carefully opens the box without disturbing the tape or twist ties, carefully slides Wild Weasel out, carefully slides $100 bill I took out of @Ru1977 's wallet, carefully seals everything back up*
 
Justice said:
I enjoy having reviews on in the background when I'm playing around in the figure room or opening figures but I don't really watch them to learn about the figures.
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I do this, sometimes just to see if they showcase something I don't know.

99.9% of the time it's the opposite.

"The figure can't hit this pose."

*Hits pose on desk*

"It has no range here."

*Gets more than that range on mine*

"You can't store this knife anywhere."

*Stored knife on obvious knife sheath immediately on removing from tray.*
 
altcunningham said:
I do this, sometimes just to see if they showcase something I don't know.

99.9% of the time it's the opposite.

"The figure can't hit this pose."

*Hits pose on desk*

"It has no range here."

*Gets more than that range on mine*

"You can't store this knife anywhere."

*Stored knife on obvious knife sheath immediately on removing from tray.*
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Right! Some of these reviewers make me feel like that's what would happen if I gave my mother a figure and told her to review it and I just start filming.
 
Funnily enough, there is a lady that used to work for me who is a bit of a slutty old broad who made no secret about the fact that she wanted to have her way with me. That aside she is hilarious in an older southern lady kind of way, a modern day Blanche Devereaux. She used to do Princess Leia cosplay to go see all the Star Wars movies when they first came out and I think it would be absolutely a smash hit to have her review figures on Youtube. I can only begin to imagine the hilarious things she would say about some of them because she is such a dirty old lady.
 
Vehicle or expensive item unboxings aren't the worst thing, but I just find regular figure unboxings so counter-intuitive to what I want as a viewer. Ideally the reviewer would open it, take some time to work in the joints like I do and figure out all the accessories, before ever hitting record. I've said it before but there are just so many terrible Classified reviewers. I'd never name them or hassle them but they're bad. The videos are like, 240p, under or over-exposed, full of static, and they're pretty much reviews of someone's knuckle hairs. Pop the figure out, do some basic poses that you can't see because hands are in the way, put them in an A stance and go, "yeah cool figure, glad to have it, can't wait for X".
 
vicious said:
Vehicle or expensive item unboxings aren't the worst thing, but I just find regular figure unboxings so counter-intuitive to what I want as a viewer. Ideally the reviewer would open it, take some time to work in the joints like I do and figure out all the accessories, before ever hitting record. I've said it before but there are just so many terrible Classified reviewers. I'd never name them or hassle them but they're bad. The videos are like, 240p, under or over-exposed, full of static, and they're pretty much reviews of someone's knuckle hairs. Pop the figure out, do some basic poses that you can't see because hands are in the way, put them in an A stance and go, "yeah cool figure, glad to have it, can't wait for X".
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I have YouTube/Twitch savvy friends (one even makes rent streaming) and whenever I express these exact opinions about pre show examination, I am told that it's just not really what most people do want. And there's a reason the formula is what it is.

Now whether the majority of those people can execute it is another question.

And I know I get annoyed when some people can't tell if something is reused or they think something is new, whereas we can all point it out immediately, but I just make the allowance or Grace that they have so much content and editing that they're cranking out that they honestly aren't as knowledgeable as we expect of it. Like for me, if you're going to make that content you better be the first and last word of authority. Because that's what I would hold myself to. But that's not how the world works and that's why I pay my therapist a lot of money.

And yeah, the low effort camera stuff is annoying. Someone told me it's because they just want it uploaded immediately because in that world, First is all that counts.
 
Very true. I wanted to get into the review game because I enjoy talking about figures but I can't afford to get things early so I don't bother. J Hernandez quit for that very reason; he didn't want to overpay AND rush his reviews out. The crunch is ridiculous and I already have a side-gig to stress over in my "free" time.
altcunningham said:
I have YouTube/Twitch savvy friends (one even makes rent streaming) and whenever I express these exact opinions about pre show examination, I am told that it's just not really what most people do want. And there's a reason the formula is what it is.
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I believe it. People like the "experience" of opening. We're on another level to the average toy fan; I can proudly accept that. I'll watch casual reviews of lines I casually collect (I watch Kyle Peterson's unboxing reviews just for background, for example) but if they're reviewing Joes, I'm gonna need all the DEETS.

There's some amazing reviewers in the doll community for this; these guys in particular take a while to get reviews out but they talk about every single clothing piece like what inspired it in real life and they're just so enjoyable to watch. It's a shame these kinds of reviews aren't rewarded with views like the quick n dirty unboxing ones. Everyone's in such a hurry (myself included). "Pulse is shipping my Joes three days after Amazon shipped everyone else's IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF"
 
I had a coworker who did unboxings specifically for Japanese import figures and made enough money that he said if he hadn't had kids he could've lived off of the videos, and "I don't get it, it's just my fat hands trying not to break toy robots, but hey, it's a living."

Of course then Youtube got weird about monetization and he ended up giving up on it. Wasn't worth the hassle anymore when he made more money from his corporate job.
 
Got Frag-Viper from Pulse today. He’s awesome. One of my favorite original figures has been wonderfully upgraded. The creepy original helmet looks so nice in this scale. Love the grenade gauntlet and the hose plugged into the grenade backpack. One of the coolest vipers yet.

Also got Rattler!! Haven’t had a chance to open the figures, but I did put the jet together and outfitted it with all the missiles and bombs. It’s so nice in person. Huge and heavy plastic. Even has cluster bombs. What a crazy evil plane.


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Blowtorch is a very fun figure. Just enough accessories to be cool without being overwhelming. I like the muted colors too. My only complaint? He makes it so much more frustrating that Barbecue doesn’t have an unmasked head! Wish I could find a good one to swap onto him.

I broke open the Rattler tonight. It’s even bigger than I anticipated. Gonna need to adjust the spot I had set up for it. It’s ENORMOUS. I’m not regretful but I am stressed out at the scale of it. Like I’d be afraid to leave it on its landing gear long term. It’s hefty. Also I’ve really got to commit and put stickers on my Haslabs. I feel guilty using them.

The figures are amazing. None of that weird plastic from the Dragonfly.

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