G.I. Joe Classified Series

Got Breaker today. I really like the loadout and face sculpt a lot. I thiiiiiink he spent too much time in a very hot warehouse though, he's the gummiest figure I've gotten in this line in a long time. Hoping a day or two in an air-conditioned office gets him back to normal.
 
docsilence said:
Got Breaker today. I really like the loadout and face sculpt a lot. I thiiiiiink he spent too much time in a very hot warehouse though, he's the gummiest figure I've gotten in this line in a long time. Hoping a day or two in an air-conditioned office gets him back to normal.
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My Silver Surfer and Breaker were like that. An hour in my AC untouched tightened it all up.
 
altcunningham said:
My Silver Surfer and Breaker were like that. An hour in my AC untouched tightened it all up.
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Couple hours later and he's better. Elbows are still a little wobbily but he's getting better.

I've taken to keeping the old GI Joe: Order of Battle book next to my desk to look up bios when I get a new figure and when I was looking up Breaker's (which might be Larry's weakest entry - it's shockingly minimalist) I went looking for the other comms officers (mildly surprised Mainframe wasn't out in time for this book!) but stumbled across Scrap-Iron's bio and man...
"Scrap-Iron is methodical and precise. Imperfection in any form repels him. Perhaps that's why he wants to blow up the world."

Also funny now time metamorphasizes things. Leatherneck was the "meanest corporal in Gitmo" in the 80s, but man that's a different phraese in 2025.
 
I had to go looking into the Order of Battle... I had the four issues when I was a kid and remembered the entries as being longer than the file cards in some cases. But also came upon some trivia!

  • Much of the information in the Joes' profiles is copied verbatim from their filecards, though some selections have slight differences.
  • There are a number of spelling change in the names:
    • Airborne is spelled Air-Borne
    • Airtight is spelled Air-Tight
    • Barbecue is spelled Barbeque
    • Crankcase is spelled Crank-Case
  • Instead of the A.W.E. Striker, Crankcase is the driver of the "Rampage".
  • Clutch does not get an entry, despite many appearances in early Marvel comics
  • Cross-Country's real name is listed as Arlen W. Slaughter. Instead of the H.A.V.O.C., he supposedly drives the "Rhino".
  • Cutter's entry contains alternate codenames, a different security number from his filecard and a more fully realized biography.
  • Deep Six also has a different security number and a less condensed biography.
  • Frostbite's page misspells his vehicle's name as "Sno-Cat" instead of Snow Cat.
  • Hawk's page uses the filecard content from his 1986 action figure.
  • Lift-Ticket's entry contains mention of the T.H.U.G. Transport Helicopter, a vehicle used for ground support.
  • Perhaps the most glaring difference between filecard and Order of Battle info is in Low-Light's page. They differ in recounting how Low-Light overcame his fear of the dark. In the filecard, he got lost in the woods while in this issue, he was forced by his father to hunt 20 rats. This may be our only insight to the amount of change a filecard goes through before it becomes printed on toy packaging.
  • No colorist is identified in the credits. Paul Becton is credited for the remainder of the series and is almost certainly the colorist of this issue as well
  • Rock 'n Roll's page contains more information than was found in his original filecard. There is some slight rewording in his history profile while the original excerpt is gone. In its place are excerpts from a "Col. D. O'Neil" and a "John Doe".
  • Sgt. Slaughter's page uses the content from his 1985 filecard, the one that came with his mail-in action figure.
  • Slip-Stream's function as Conquest X-30 pilot is replaced with the words "Cyclone X26A, R.E.C.A.P. Radical Electronically Controlled Attack Plane".
  • Snake-Eyes's page uses content from his 1985 filecard.
  • Steeler's profile differs from his filecard in several ways. His security number is different, as is his rank which demoted him from his filecard's O-1 rank to E-5. There are also rewordings in his profile history. The original excerpt is replaced by excerpts from a "Maj. A. Milgrom" and "Col. Clayton M. Abernathy".
  • Taurus's real name is listed as "Mustafa Karagoz" and his birthplace is listed as Ankara, Turkey.
  • Tollbooth is spelled as Toll-Booth. His name does not put the "for nothing" words in parenthesis. His security number is also missing and there are some rewordings in his profile history.
  • Tunnel Rat's security number is missing.
  • There is an In Memoriam section featuring Candy, Kwinn and the Soft Master. There are no profiles attached to these characters.
  • Candy is identified as Bongo the Balloon Bear
  • Cobra Commander's codename is Enemy Leader.
  • The last page is a retraction to the previous issue's entry of Rocky being a member of the G.I. Joe Team.
  • The Moray is called the Cobra Hydrofoil.
  • Nothing is mentioned of the Mamba's rocket pods.
  • The WHALE is called the Hovercraft
  • There is a retraction for the inclusion of the character Rocky in issue #2.
  • What looks like a Stinger is on G.I. Joe's side on the cover.
  • Due to the retraction of the character, Rocky is no longer included in the collection.
  • Chuckles, Jinx and Lt. Falcon are new additions to the trade paperback.
 
Oh, this book is RIDDLED with typos. Although as a working writer in the age of AI, I actually now find typos charming as fuck. I find a typo in print I COO at it, like I found a baby bird. "Hello you beautiful little imperfection, you little mess of humanity, I see you and appreciate you."

Ru1977 said:
  • Frostbite's page misspells his vehicle's name as "Sno-Cat" instead of Snow Cat.
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This one jumped out at me tonight, was looking at it because I'm trying to talk myself out of the SnowCAT and I am... struggling.
Ru1977 said:
  • Rock 'n Roll's page contains more information than was found in his original filecard. There is some slight rewording in his history profile while the original excerpt is gone. In its place are excerpts from a "Col. D. O'Neil" and a "John Doe".
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This is my favorite thing in the book, because it gives this low-key, behind the scenes thing where someone unnamed who is clearly Snake Eyes says Rock 'n Roll is the fucking man and he will murder-fy anyone who badmouths him.
Ru1977 said:
  • There is an In Memoriam section featuring Candy, Kwinn and the Soft Master. There are no profiles attached to these characters.
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These are the best parts of the book. Pour one out for Candy/Bongo. Also Hasbro, make the damned action figure, we've been waiting forty fuckin' years.
Ru1977 said:
  • Chuckles, Jinx and Lt. Falcon are new additions to the trade paperback.
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I love that in this book even the Joes don't know who Chuckles works for. Military rank? Fuck man, he might be a Russian asset but he gets us what we need, we don't care, he puts in the work. Ultimate top shelf freelancer shit there.
 
docsilence said:
Oh, this book is RIDDLED with typos. Although as a working writer in the age of AI, I actually now find typos charming as fuck. I find a typo in print I COO at it, like I found a baby bird. "Hello you beautiful little imperfection, you little mess of humanity, I see you and appreciate you."
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Ah man, thank you. I freak out anytime I find one, even though I have combed through my books so many times with three different spell checks before I published, and STILL find them damnit. But this is a wonderful way to look at it.
docsilence said:
This one jumped out at me tonight, was looking at it because I'm trying to talk myself out of the SnowCAT and I am... struggling.
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Ah man, I hear you!
docsilence said:
This is my favorite thing in the book, because it gives this low-key, behind the scenes thing where someone unnamed who is clearly Snake Eyes says Rock 'n Roll is the fucking man and he will murder-fy anyone who badmouths him.
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Fucking brilliant
docsilence said:
These are the best parts of the book. Pour one out for Candy/Bongo. Also Hasbro, make the damned action figure, we've been waiting forty fuckin' years.
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Agreed. I love what we have been getting and the trajectory they're on, but I would be very happy to get some never before done (and some done before) supporting characters. Dr. Venom is an older white guy in a whiter coat but I bet if the Classified him up just a bit, he could be a great figure.
docsilence said:
I love that in this book even the Joes don't know who Chuckles works for. Military rank? Fuck man, he might be a Russian asset but he gets us what we need, we don't care, he puts in the work. Ultimate top shelf freelancer shit there.
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Ugh, great point.
 
Ru1977 said:
Ah man, thank you. I freak out anytime I find one, even though I have combed through my books so many times with three different spell checks before I published, and STILL find them damnit. But this is a wonderful way to look at it.
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I freak out if I find one in something I wrote - I get mad if I have a typo on a friggin' Bluesky post - but finding anyone else's? Charming. I found typos in a Clive Barker book last week. Movie made out of it. Traditional publisher. Big book deal. Typos. Cos humans make stuff.

But yeah, you can tell they cranked out the Order of Battle as filler and barely edited it. It's a mess. But I love it.
 
I loved it too, especially for the joes I didn't have since I kept the file cards for several years. And Rocky always fascinated me.
 
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SNAKE was delivered and I can see by the FedEx photo, my delivery man kindly set it in the most visible way possible. Nobody will be home for two hours, but at least I haven't had a porch pirate incident, so far.

Pulse still hasn't shipped my second SNAKE despite placing the order right after the first one. That might work out well if it gives me a chance to decide if I really need two.
 
I’ve gotten no updates from Pulse on SNAKE armor or CLAW glider. Are they really shipping?
 
I got a shipping notice this morning for the CLAWs I ordered.

No payment taken for the SNAKEs I ordered yet. I won't expect any shipment info until I see a pending charge on my card.

AND still no sign of the Rattler.............................:mad:
 
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