G.I. Joe Classified Beamish-Style Weekend Vehicle Poll - #38 - Ninja Lightning

[Damien]

Nah. I don't really like the miniaturized-looking stuff. Looks like the Joes are driving around in Little Tikes versions of military equipment.

 

[WrathofTaco]

I'm obsessed with Outback's expression, the indignation at being sat in this fuckass armored Victorian courting chair with Adam Sandler.

 

[docsilence]

Nah. I don't really like the miniaturized-looking stuff. Looks like the Joes are driving around in Little Tikes versions of military equipment.

I'm nostalgic for a TON of Joes stuff, but the tiny vehicles they put out in those later years are not one of those things.

I'm obsessed with Outback's expression, the indignation at being sat in this fuckass armored Victorian courting chair with Adam Sandler.

This just had me roaring laughing. "Victorian courting chair" took me OUT

 

[DarthDre758]

Day 36 - Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine (RAH) (2/6/26)

Continuing S-Word week for the vehicles with 1987's S.L.A.M.

This is another example of the artists not knowing how physics work. I'm assuming the arms coming off of it are supposed to be stabilizers, but the feet aren't even flat on the ground. I See on the actual toy they are the same way. The toy itself has the top part being able to spin. I don't think that would work with all that firepower going on. The toy also has nothing for Outback to do in that seat. Is that the SLAM cuck chair? He has to watch Crazylegs do all the work? No wonder he's looking at him like he is. Also, with the two firing missiles, the bottom one is slightly angled up, so that'll end well for everyone involved.

 

[docsilence]

I think there's some kind of computer screen (targeting computer?) in the cuck chair but it doesn't feel logical at all. But that's like 75% of Joe vehicles.

 

[DarthDre758]

I was assuming the white panel was the targeting screen.

 

[DarthDre758]

Do they share that center control? Is it like on an airplane where the first person to sit gets it? Maybe Outback wanted to hold hands, and Crazylegs wasn't having it.

 

[WrathofTaco]

That they had the gall to use strategic in the title is breathtaking. It makes that jump-scare battle toilet thing look subtle.

 

[Ru1977]

That's definitely the most likely explanation.

 

[docsilence]

That they had the gall to use strategic in the title is breathtaking. It makes that jump-scare battle toilet thing look subtle.

This is why I love the Joes threads, where else can you see jump-scare battle toilet in a sentence.

 

[Chooch555]

It's ridiculous - I must have it.

 

[DetectiveHoag]

If this is support be self-propelled, where is the engine? With the occupants, I see no room for an actual engine or additional ammunition storage. The more I look at it, the more I think the Classified crew would have their work cut out for them if they choose to tackle this kiddie car.

 

[WrathofTaco]

I love a dumb thing, but this is a bridge too far.

 

[canprime]

If this is support be self-propelled, where is the engine? With the occupants, I see no room for an actual engine or additional ammunition storage. The more I look at it, the more I think the Classified crew would have their work cut out for them if they choose to tackle this kiddie car.

I always thought it was a rail vehicle by looking at the wheels. They look like train wheels for tracks and that this thing was moved on the rails.

Anyway I would be fine with this in Classified because it is small enough to be "relatively" affordable. I also like the faux military feel, mostly because of the green.

 

[WrathofTaco]

It would almost make sense if they had a train to haul this behind. Instead it would either need trucked or airlifted in anywhere bumpier than a parking lot.