TheGillMan
Picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
- Joined
- May 2, 2025
- Messages
- 721
When I was a kid, we moved from West Texas to Omaha. Questions I got on the regular:
"Did you have to sell your horses when you moved here?"
"Did you own an oil well?"
"Where is your cowboy hat?"
"Why aren't you wearing cowboy boots?"
Having the last name of "Gill", I used to get asked (sarcastically) if I was related to University of Nebraska football player Turner Gill. I'm a pasty white guy, and Turner was a big black dude...so of course I'd tell them I was. Loved to watch the confused expressions on their faces.
When I moved back to Texas in High School, people would ask me if I was related to Vince Gill. While this is more believable, I'd still go along with it. "Oh yeah, that's my cousin". If they were rednecks, I'd mess with them by telling them my "cousin" was secretly gay. I loved watching their heads nearly explode when they heard their favorite country artist was into dudes. After a while, I just started telling any redneck that I met that I was actually related to their favorite country artist (regardless of how plausible), and that they were totally in the closet. Watching homophobes nearly stroke-out is a great pastime!
"Did you have to sell your horses when you moved here?"
"Did you own an oil well?"
"Where is your cowboy hat?"
"Why aren't you wearing cowboy boots?"
Having the last name of "Gill", I used to get asked (sarcastically) if I was related to University of Nebraska football player Turner Gill. I'm a pasty white guy, and Turner was a big black dude...so of course I'd tell them I was. Loved to watch the confused expressions on their faces.
When I moved back to Texas in High School, people would ask me if I was related to Vince Gill. While this is more believable, I'd still go along with it. "Oh yeah, that's my cousin". If they were rednecks, I'd mess with them by telling them my "cousin" was secretly gay. I loved watching their heads nearly explode when they heard their favorite country artist was into dudes. After a while, I just started telling any redneck that I met that I was actually related to their favorite country artist (regardless of how plausible), and that they were totally in the closet. Watching homophobes nearly stroke-out is a great pastime!