G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Feels like Bazooka was EVERYONE's punching bag over the years but I kept looking at his file card. "Fast thinker with the instincts of a natural survivor." Bazooka is John Wick but thicccc.
 
I swear somewhere in my collection I have a frying pan that is classified scale. But I have no idea where it would be or who it came with.
 
New respect for Bazooka unlocked.
I never liked him as a kid because he was always portrayed as a doofus, but that line from his original file card just stuck with me the same way Beachhead's file card says he DOESN'T get angry. I love flipping mistreated characters on their heads.
 
I never liked him as a kid because he was always portrayed as a doofus, but that line from his original file card just stuck with me the same way Beachhead's file card says he DOESN'T get angry. I love flipping mistreated characters on their heads.
Literally the reason I own the TF Bazooka Classified figure is because I constantly had him around as a kid. BUT, the reason I had him around is because he wore a stupid sports shirt so I essentially used him as fodder. He was ALWAYS the Joe to go down first, get his ass kicked, need rescuing, etc. I can't be mad about the disrespect shown to Bazooka over the years because I embody the disrespect. Haha.
 
I mean, I loved the Sunbow cartoon, but I do wonder any time a creative team looks at the source material, especially if it's GOOD source material, and does the exact opposite with it. Change and iteration I get, you can't word for word lift something to a new medium, but the frequency with which they went with an antithetical interpretation makes me wonder if a) it was by design or b) they just never looked at the source material did did whatever they wanted to with the toys. I suppose "big dude in a football jersey with a bazooka" screams dumb comic relief, but...
 
Literally the reason I own the TF Bazooka Classified figure is because I constantly had him around as a kid. BUT, the reason I had him around is because he wore a stupid sports shirt so I essentially used him as fodder. He was ALWAYS the Joe to go down first, get his ass kicked, need rescuing, etc. I can't be mad about the disrespect shown to Bazooka over the years because I embody the disrespect. Haha.
He IS one of the Joes with the most suspect fashion choices. Right up there with Steam Roller never wearing a shirt or Cutter wearing a life vest on dry land.
 
A lot of those '80s TV shows were formulaic. They all had a big doofus. Bazooka, Ram Man, Grimlock, to some degree Michelangelo, Ray Stantz. Clumsy Smurf. Launchpad McQuack. Tummi Gummi. Dale the Rescue Ranger. It was an archetype, regardless of other source material. Ducktales even had a character named Doofus!
 
I mean, I loved the Sunbow cartoon, but I do wonder any time a creative team looks at the source material, especially if it's GOOD source material, and does the exact opposite with it. Change and iteration I get, you can't word for word lift something to a new medium, but the frequency with which they went with an antithetical interpretation makes me wonder if a) it was by design or b) they just never looked at the source material did did whatever they wanted to with the toys. I suppose "big dude in a football jersey with a bazooka" screams dumb comic relief, but...
Yeah, I'd be surprised if much at all was based on established lore rather than the perceptions they had based on character appearance and known role ("the silent ninja guy, the leader guy, the girl, the prettier girl, the muscle with a mustache, the muscle without a mustache" and so on).

Cutter wearing a life vest on dry land.
PEOPLE CAN DROWN IN AN INCH OF WATER, DOCTOR! How dare you come after SAFETY.
 
And honestly it's the stuff that came later continuing to pile on to the poor guy that really bugs me. Sunbow got tons of characters backward, so that's just par for the course.
 
I think it's pretty well established that Sunbow/Marvel Entertainment and Marvel Comics were mostly separated then. Transformers definitely established they were making things up independently. Looking back on it, seems like Bazooka was maybe written as what we'd now identify as autistic? Which is maybe fitting as every Joe is so specialized and hyper-focused that they're all likely to be on one end of the spectrum.
 
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