G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Damien said:
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

Edit: Also.. .a fucking Willow reference? I am HERE for it.
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Sir, I quote Madmartigan, no exaggeration, almost once a day. Any seemingly impossible task I think I can do I'm pulling that quote to Arik out. I want to annoy Steph, I look at her crazy eyed and say "you're my sun, my moon, my starlit sky..."
 
docsilence said:
Sir, I quote Madmartigan, no exaggeration, almost once a day. Any seemingly impossible task I think I can do I'm pulling that quote to Arik out. I want to annoy Steph, I look at her crazy eyed and say "you're my sun, my moon, my starlit sky..."
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You and I are brothers.

If my wife smacks me on the arm or something, 50% of the time I'll be like 'your touch is worth a hundred thousand deaths!' I was also banned from saying 'smells like a battle' whenever I'd walk downstairs while my wife is cooking.
 
Damien said:
You and I are brothers.

If my wife smacks me on the arm or something, 50% of the time I'll be like 'your touch is worth a hundred thousand deaths!' I was also banned from saying 'smells like a battle' whenever I'd walk downstairs while my wife is cooking.
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The whole damned movie is so quotable. It's my anchor event. Brain completely rewired seeing it.

Probably belongs in another thread but the TV series was so disappointing. I could see the cast trying really hard to make it work but they just could not find that magic again. I think Willow was a once in a lifetime project.
 
docsilence said:
The whole damned movie is so quotable. It's my anchor event. Brain completely rewired seeing it.

Probably belongs in another thread but the TV series was so disappointing. I could see the cast trying really hard to make it work but they just could not find that magic again. I think Willow was a once in a lifetime project.
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Agree entirely and I will happily chat about the show because I actually liked a bunch of things about it and I feel like it was so close to being something that could have caught on, at least with the existing Willow crowd.
 
Damien said:
Agree entirely and I will happily chat about the show because I actually liked a bunch of things about it and I feel like it was so close to being something that could have caught on, at least with the existing Willow crowd.
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We'll have to chat about it in another thread. I think if it had more time it might've caught on. That episode with the dreamy aurora borealis lights was just gorgeously shot. With more time it might've figured itself out. The cast was fun.
 
This one is for you @Ru1977 since we've talked for months about which Cobra would actually have legitimate positions in the government:

Code Name: Raptor
File Name: Chip Talon
Primary Military Specialty: Falconry
Secondary Military Specialty: Accounting
Birthplace: San Francisco, California
Rank: N/A

As one of the few ranking members of the Cobra hierarchy with American citizenship and no known criminal record (his time as "Raptor" was covered by a distinctly well-maintained lack of a paper trail), Talon was well-positioned to take up a significant role in Rexford Lewis's administration. He was a surprise pick for the Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service to members of the administration who did not know him during his time with Cobra. Despite his history as one of Cobra Commander's cadre of circus sideshow caricatures, Talon is, in fact, shockingly talented at manipulating financial documentation and paperwork and has been incredibly effective at both re-aligning the numbers to make Lewis's economy look better while also funneling tax money into offshore accounts for administration leaders as well as for Lewis's many off the books projects.

"I cannot describe the depths to which I loathe this man. It's not simply that his style of evil is so banal - there is no crime more boring and smooth-brained than financial crime - but with success came a level of vanity that made him even more difficult to tolerate. He abuses expensive cologne and finds any excuse to take his shirt off. He uses phrases like "winning" and "closing" like they are gladiatorial arena cries. I will say he is kind to the birds he raises, and while his weaponization of them is despicable, he does openly worry about their safety and, as he's taken a more white-collar role with the administration, seems visibly relieved to no longer need to put the birds of prey in danger. (Personal note: Destro has decommissioned the mink farm we first encountered Raptor poaching on. Purchasing the farm was something I had suggested to him; however, we recently visited the site and upon handling several minks and hand-feeding them, Destro declared that "no more of these beasts shall die for fashion." He adopted two of them and named them James and Anastasia. I believe he has done this to tease me.")
 
Apparently my theme of the week is "fixing characters the cartoons/modern comics did dirty."

File Name: Katzenbogen, David L.
Primary Military Specialty: Armor Defeating Weapons Systems
Secondary Military Specialty: Tank Driver
Birthplace: Hibbing, Minnesota
Rank: E-5

Subject was considered a low-level threat upon retiring from the GI Joe Unit. Standard surveillance found him working part-time as a football coach and physical trainer, busy but aimless. He kept in touch with several members of the unit, particularly Albert "Alpine" Pine and Hector "Shipwreck" Delgado, but all indications were that these were simply "war buddies" and not any sort of intent toward insurrection. Katzenbogen, through happenstance while visiting Los Angeles on a planned vacation, found himself in the midst of what was intended to be a covert abduction by members of the Alley Viper squad. The squad had been sent to pick up [REDACTED] for questioning. Somehow Katzenbogen was able to subdue the three-man squad - apparently primarily armed with an iron wok - before fleeing the scene and going to ground. He was last spotted on a stolen Navy vessel with Delgado and several other former Joes wanted for questioning.

"Everyone underestimates Bazooka. He talks soft and slow, because when you're that big, you know you're scary. The teddy bear thing is a defense mechanism. In his original assessment, Hawk said David is a 'fast thinker with the instincts of a natural survivor.' Does that sound like an idiot to you? I mean, yeah, his weapon of choice was last produced in the 1940s, but he likes what he likes, it doesn't make him stupid. Anyway. Have you seen the security footage of him taking down those Alley Vipers? It's pure comedy gold. Frying pan against Cobra helmet is like music to my ears. And Quick Kick says he's a natural and wants to train him with the nunchuks, but 'zook says he never intents to be that up close and personal again."
 
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