G.I. Joe Classified Series

Don't you fucking say that. Don't you even fucking say it.
I'm going to agree. I wasn't keen on the new pins and hands for the Star Wars stuff. But, having a few more saber weilders with them, it would be hard to get some of these poses with the normal hinge hands. Granted, they don't move as far in any direction. But, they do make it so the hand can go any direction. Time will tell though if those pins hold up. I haven't seen or had any break, but who knows what will happen when it deteriorates. They are very thin.

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it's not a figure that sets the world on fire for me.
It's like you just keep coming back here to punch me right in the dick while blowing vape-smoke in my face.


The complete and utter randomness of whether a "mainline release" will be a total, Pursuit of Cobra-style modern redesign (SAW Viper), a weird, nonsensical mashup of 1985 and 2025 gear and aesthetics (Footloose), or a 90-99% faithful recreation of a vintage ARAH figure (Hawk, Bazooka, Shipwreck, Wetsuit, Mutt, et al) is slowly driving me insane, I think.
I'm at the point of being thankful they don't all look like the wave 1 figures, and just trying to accept that most of these releases aren't going to be the faithful adaptations of the ARAH looks that I, personally, really really want the line to be. I think I've mostly been able to be successful at not holding it against this line that it's not just 'bigger ARAH figures.'
Two big sticking points for me have been Ninja Force Storm Shadow, as everyone knows, and Desert Scorpion -- who I think has a cool figure here in Classified, but I still think the ARAH one is just straight up better.
I also think the redesign they did to v2 Storm Shadow is terrible, but I care less about that design overall so my fix to that figure was good enough.



Playing with some swords for Budo in case anyone is interested. If you hate bad quality pics of a poorly lit shelf then, I don't know what to tell you. Do your own sword stuff with Budo and leave me alone.

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Could NOT get this to focus on both the figure and sword, but whatever. This is the smaller of the Articulated Icons katana (I guess it was supposed to be a wakizashi but.. it isn't). You can't tell by the picture, but the absolutely terrible handle they sculpted for this thing works better on Budo than it does in Articulated Icons. It has a VERY modern look and doesn't look a single thing, even squinting at it, like a Japanese Ito. But again, works in your favor here since it can really pull off that 'modern tacticool katana' look. But with a nicer blade profile and nicer paint than Budo's smaller sword. Bonus - it technically fits in his tactical scabbard, but the point pokes out a tiny bit.

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Option 2 is the old NECA Ryu sword. I still have this laying around as I actually use it with one of my AI samurai since their swords, again, kind of suck for actual samurai.
This one definitely has the look of a more traditional ancestral katana (or tachi) for Budo. Like he busted this out of the family collection to take on Cobra. The benefit of this one over the longer katana he comes with is that this one has a far superior sculpt and superior paint. I imagine it would look really good with the traditional armor, but I'm not going to bother swapping all that shit just to find out.


I thought about testing ML Spiral's katana as well, but I fucking hate the typical Marvel Legends flat primer grey those cheap fuckers use, and I've never bothered to paint them. So... just these two unless I think of something else. Can't decide which one I like more but I'll probably end up going with the AI sword just to stick with Budo's more tactical look. Not 100% sure on that yet, though.
 
I saw a video of two of the whitest dudes I've ever seen demonstrating if the sword from Ghost of Yotei was too long to sheath/unsheath/be practical in a fight and I watched the whole video thinking "DAMIEN AND BUDO'S BBS(word) PROBLEM"

Now that I've seen real people trying to use this thing I've got a head canon that the sword is a family heirloom and Budo fully knows it's some sort of running family joke - whichever descendent can figure how how to use this fucking sword properly will be remembered forever as a legend, and mostly he has it banging against his back being an annoyance while he uses his other weapons.
 
I saw a video of two of the whitest dudes I've ever seen demonstrating if the sword from Ghost of Yotei was too long to sheath/unsheath/be practical in a fight and I watched the whole video thinking "DAMIEN AND BUDO'S BBS(word) PROBLEM"

Now that I've seen real people trying to use this thing I've got a head canon that the sword is a family heirloom and Budo fully knows it's some sort of running family joke - whichever descendent can figure how how to use this fucking sword properly will be remembered forever as a legend, and mostly he has it banging against his back being an annoyance while he uses his other weapons.
Were they Australian? If so, fucking run from that channel as fast as you can.

Also... yeah, it's complicated. Like, HUGE katana actually did exist. Nodachi/odachi were real and were really used on historical battlefields. The problem is just that people without a foundation in studying history (and specifically military history) don't understand them. These types of weapons, like European 'greatswords' (montante, spadone, zweihander/bidenhander) have a really specific method of use and are not -sidearms-. That's Super, Super fucking important. Because you know what you do with a sidearm? You wear it. You know what you don't do with things that aren't sidearms? Wear them.
Two-handed swords, halberds, spears, longbows... you don't fucking WEAR this shit. If you're starting from the perspective of 'how would you wear this to be able to use it effectively' you are probably already deeply fucking wrong.


The other problem is just one of proportions. It seems to be the rare toy sculptor that has the foggiest fucking clue how swords are proportioned. Especially katana-like swords. They always have handles that are way too short in relation to their blades. Budo's big sword is no exception. So, in terms of giant two-handed katana-like swords; that's just not how they would have looked and that small shift in proportion really does have a fairly big impact on the overall look of the weapon.

/rant
 
Were they Australian? If so, fucking run from that channel as fast as you can.
A couple of extremely dweeby American (or Canadian?) guys in harem pants and tank tops. Just showed up as a recommended video in my feed an only stopped because I know how much that sword drives you nuts and wanted to see what they had to say. (Demonstrated a couple of "terrible in combat, don't do this, but okay it is possible to sheath or un-sheath it IF YOU HAD TO" kind of stuff.)
 
A couple of extremely dweeby American (or Canadian?) guys in harem pants and tank tops. Just showed up as a recommended video in my feed an only stopped because I know how much that sword drives you nuts and wanted to see what they had to say. (Demonstrated a couple of "terrible in combat, don't do this, but okay it is possible to sheath or un-sheath it IF YOU HAD TO" kind of stuff.)
Sounds like Sellsword Arts, maybe. If so, they have pretty decent content. They're actual practitioners, but they've found a good niche doing mostly YT/Insta shorts using real fencing to judge fantasy/video game stuff.
 
Yeah, that's them. It now occurs to me the one with the long hair was in a video of his wife making him listen to one of her romantasy books when the main character was talking about why she prefers daggers over swords and his brain melted at the logic the characters were using. "THATS NOT HOW DAGGERS WORK"
 
Yeah, that's them. It now occurs to me the one with the long hair was in a video of his wife making him listen to one of her romantasy books when the main character was talking about why she prefers daggers over swords and his brain melted at the logic the characters were using. "THATS NOT HOW DAGGERS WORK"
Sounds about right.
Honestly, my brain melts MOST of the time authors talk about weapons or weapon-related logic, because they're almost always wrong in ways that, because you've now tried to explain it, actively make the story worse.
 
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