G.I. Joe Classified Series

[Justice]

What. I always assumed Grand Slam was the baseball version of Big Lob or the Fridge. Never actually looked into what he looked like (and as I mentioned I never had any Joe's as a kid).

Is he just Flash with a receding hairline??

 

[PantherCult]

Is he just Flash with a receding hairline??

I mean, yes.

 

[Ru1977]

I always assumed Grand Slam was the baseball version of Big Lob or the Fridge.

I remember my aunt babysat me and my cousins one time and took us out to all pick one toy, and my oldest cousin played catcher on his baseball team, and picked Flash just for this reason. If I end up with a Flash, it will most likely be because of that memory.

 

[Justice]

I mean, yes.

I learn something new every day in this thread. Usually concerning penises but occasionally about GI Joe.

 

[GrumpyMatt]

Receding hairline is only the half of it. That Grunt/Zap/Grand Slam head was and remains the most unintentional (I assume) fugly sculpt of all time. It's just so bad — and they used it for three figures ...

 

[docsilence]

While I generally agree with this, I do have an alternate or maybe parallel opinion on this; I fucking hate characters that look bored or like mannequins. What I'll say about overly expressive faces is that at least they're 'doing something' on the shelf. I'm in favor of neutral expressions, but some sculptors/designers really need to work on how they accomplish that.

True that. Though some folks seem to hate the slight smirk on Flint's sculpt which I think is kind of the right amount of "if not neutral, if not screaming, give him some personality" style expressiveness.

I'm honestly stupidly easy to part with my money when it comes to lines I love but the screaming head thing really is one of my VERY few hills I'll die on. Hell I was pissed off the two-pack Wolverine they just released doesn't have a neutral face and I have an obscene number of Wolverines, so it took me like five minutes to get over it. But in the meantime I still get mad every time I think about Thunderstrike.I went out and got a replacement head for Red Hood. Classified has been really good about not doing this so far, and I'd be less miffed if it weren't someone I was really looking forward to. Why couldn't it be Hit and Run with the visible tongue!?!? Crazylegs just pushed that same red button for me.

 

[DetectiveHoag]

Grand Slam was essentially an anti-aircraft and artillery specialist, and when he wasn’t shooting off his H.A.L., he was flying on a jet pack with a laser rifle as well. While the original RAH Grand Slam was a lot of Flash reuse, I hope Clasdified will distinguish him more.

 

[Chooch555]

Is he just Flash with a receding hairline??

No! He also has fatter cheeks.

 

[Justice]

No! He also has fatter cheeks.

Genetic lottery winner, that guy.

But to keep this on topic, does he also have a micro penis?

 

[Ru1977]

That Grunt/Zap/Grand Slam head was and remains the most unintentional (I assume) fugly sculpt of all time.

Which is why they NEED to have Grand Slam resemble that as much as they possibly can. "Grand Slam" was an even more cruel codename than his original, Strike Out, because it's a reverse nickname but still based entirely on his lack of popularity at the bars.

 

[altcunningham]

Zap... Aside from the outfit, his name always bothered me. Even the later one they did, maybe Sonic fighters or something? I'm utterly bigoted against the name. And Flash too. Snake Eyes, Hawk, Stalker, and... Zap.

Can't wait to get the soldier representation Joes from my Iraq War.

Private Handler (real and unfortunate)
Spongebob
Patrick (not his fault, but he was bunked with SpongeBob)
High-speed
Old Drake
Little Drake
Kevorkian the medic
Whopper Jr
White Gonzalez
F'n Freeman (you gotta say it exasperated)
Moker (Cox)
Hollywood
Dicklips

Joe nicknames are great when you realise the real names are insults / sarcastic opposites of the meaning.

 

[Ru1977]

White Gonzalez

Thank you for all of these, and that definitely plays into my Grand Slam theory, but White Gonzalez is probably my favorite.

 

[altcunningham]

While I generally agree with this, I do have an alternate or maybe parallel opinion on this; I fucking hate characters that look bored or like mannequins. What I'll say about overly expressive faces is that at least they're 'doing something' on the shelf. I'm in favor of neutral expressions, but some sculptors/designers really need to work on how they accomplish that.

Alternate heads need to be budgeted and normalised.

I want expression and personality, but it doesn't always work for scenes.

 

[NORM]

I'm happy to welcome another POC Joe in Zap, weak code name and boring design aside.

 

[Ru1977]

I'm happy to welcome another POC Joe in Zap, weak code name and boring design aside.

Honestly, that's the biggest selling point. I would really like him to have a cooler uniform though.

If anything, I would like the International Convention version: