G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Chlamydia
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Can you imagine going on a mission and having to fight a guy named Genital Warts?
 
Code Name: Hemo-Viper
File Name: Various
Subjects are members of Cobra elite forces selected for a biological "enhancement" treatment using vampiric blood. The process enhances their speed, strength, healing, and durability as well as night vision capabilities at the cost of efficiency in the daylight. Subjects require consistent treatment with the serum or run the risk of turning feral - this effect can be alleviated by the drinking of human blood or human blood substitutes, which can be a cost-saving measure, but lowers the long-term efficacy of the serum as the vampiric biology takes over. Highly useful for covert operations and high risk missions.

"Remember when Mindbender and his crew circled the globe looking for the raw materials they needed to make Serpentor? Yeah, that lunatic didn't just find what he needed, and he kept notes on everything, including a 'biological weapon' found in catacombs in Transylvania. That man has never found a bad idea he didn't want to test out. Anyway, now some of our old war buddies crave the warmth of human blood, their eyes reflect like cats in the dark, they sleep in long, sealed boxes, and they look at you just a little too long when they get hungry. They've stopped assigning them to mixed units after the, ah, 'I got thirsty' incident last month..."
 
Code Name: Stoker
File Name: Harker Van Helsing; aliases include Abraham Harker, Quincey Harker, Harker Seward
Primary Military Speciality: Classified
Secondary Military Specialty: Medic
Birthplace: Amsterdam, the Netherlands
Subject received non-traditional, non-military training from a clandestine sect of alleged 'monster hunters' based out of the Netherlands and the UK. Recruited as a specialist / consultant with regard to ongoing experimentation by Cobra with the occult. Considered a polymath with expertise on obscure areas of study, including xenobiology and alchemy. Highly skilled hand-to-hand fighter and proficient with all NATO and Warsaw Pact small arms, though prefers non-traditional weapons like crossbows or blades for close combat. Proficient in at least six languages "because if you only speak Dutch you quickly run out of people to talk to," he said during his recruitment interview.

"Most of the Joes think he's absolutely tapped in the head. Vampires and werewolves and zombies? You've gotta be joking, right? Except if you've been assigned to a mission with him, you don't come back thinking that way. Rock'n Roll keeps a single silver bullet in his pocket ever since that mission to Siberia. Roadblock turned an old wooden ladle into a stake he keeps in his backpack. Clutch has developed a downright uncomfortable taste for garlic. But the one who scares me the most? Doc. Doc's our chaplain, he's always been a man of faith, but ever since that mission in Eastern Europe, the one where Crazylegs came back needing two blood transfusions, Doc won't go into combat without a crucifix on him. He didn't do that before. And whatever he saw, ol' Doc doesn't want to talk about it..."
 
Finally finished my Joes' dossier template! Been working on this for a few weeks in between work.
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Redacted the recruitment date in whole, and the birth year, so these can be as timeless as we need them to be, lol.

Gonna start on a Cobra one during my next work downtime.
 
Shit. Way more involved than what I did, which was basically the Hama style with a bigger space for bio. I LOVE where it says "DO NOT WRITE IN THE BOXES BELOW", which makes it feel like such an official government form.
 
Yeah, nice! I also appreciate "Global Special Missions". I went with Special Counter-Terrorist Unit Delta, and I think the only file I have made that ever actually says "GI Joe" is the one for the unit itself. it's funny that I didn't like putting the name of the brand on the vehicles when it came time for decal placement.
 
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