Quitting/putting collecting on pause

AceofKnaves said:
Essentially, while I use a vast “toolbox” of modalities and theory orientations when I work with clients (although I’m always trauma-informed and recovery-focused), my specific orientation is post-modern, so-called “feminist” theory (I say so-called because it differs in a practical sense from what one might generally understand in the more global sense), and from a theoretical focus on systems. Basically, that means I come at every client’s issues not just by looking at “what’s wrong with them” (in fact I don’t do that at all, I would ask “what happened to you” not “what’s wrong with you”), but also by examining the family/work/soxial/sociopolitcal/etc systems that they are a part of. Social injustice and cultural trauma are always a part of my work, even if the client and I aren’t openly talking about those things. I will take literally any type of client, but a major part of my “mission” is empowering and uplifting and affirming the identities of socially-marginalized folks. Also my longtime therapist and mentor is a cult expert (like “sits on panels for Scientology exposé shows”-level expert), so I’ve trained hard in that as well, which is very useful for the current socio-political climate.

Honestly, I got started in this business to learn how to fix myself. However: I went back to grad school in the fall of 2016, and suddenly I found that my calling had become wayyyy less self-focused. I saw what was happening with the rise of MAGA, I found myself sick in my soul, and I decided that I had to change how I looked at being a therapist. So now I’m in this to fight fascism, bigotry and hatred as something of a D&D cleric. Many of my clients wouldn’t even know this part of it all, because it’s not directly relevant to what we talk about in session. But it’s still there in the background.
So yeah ultimately my practice is hard-leftist, aggressively LGBTQIA+ affirming, culturally humble, radically empathetic and (usually on the down low) anticapitalist.

In fact, I just broke away from my old boss after getting fully licensed a couple months ago, and my official business title now features one of those naughty “DEI” words.

Come at me, Nazis. My work address is public record, you know just where to find me. I’ll be waiting, and if you’re not careful I might just deprogram you and help you be human again.
Click to expand...

Excellent post, and thank you for the info! That's fascinating stuff. I've never been in therapy, although I'm sure it would benefit me. My wife went to school for psychology & has a Masters in Human Behavior...she also wanted to know "what was wrong with her" and "why her family were assholes"...she's actually the one who diagnosed me initially (not officially, of course, just the first who brought it up to me). I had spent my life masking & imitating and trying to fit in, and as I approached my 40th I went through a pretty depressive time. The mask fell away & I had no idea what was "wrong" with me, but I was really going through it. She told me that in her opinion, I was very much on the spectrum and that she had seen it almost immediately in our relationship. I spoke to my doc about it, and we went from there.

Learning the reason for why I am the way I am, good & bad, brought some peace. I grew up hearing that I was "an old soul", because I was quiet, introspective, smart, and I was reading way above my grade level. I have a large vocabulary, and I have a near photographic memory for football statistics. I've been told my entire life how I'm "just so smart", and no matter what I was going through "you'll figure it out, you're always so good at that." It made me feel very isolated growing up, and put me on edge because I was positioned as this hero-type who can solve all these problems. Finding out about the autism brought peace at first, then anger for how I was treated and how I needed help but nobody could see it. My first marriage ended because she thought I was "lazy" and "unfocused", when it turns out I just have executive dysfunction & sometimes I get stuck in analysis paralysis & I just sit there staring at the wall trying to make a decision.

I guess that doesn't have much to do with what I've quoted, but I always think it's cool to see people go into professions because they were trying to discover something about themselves. I'm in corporate security now, but I started out early on in a personal protection field. I've provided personal security for a few CEO's, I was assigned to Bill Gates for a weekend in 2007, and I've done protection for Jeff Gordon (NASCAR). I got into it because of my love of superheroes...I couldn't fly or use heat vision, but I could protect people from harm. Unfortunately, I found out most people who require bodyguards are not very deserving of the protection...Gates was actually nice to us, but Gordon was an ass. The CEO's were terrible...it really discouraged me from wanting to protect people like that. I always kept my personal politics out of it, but I couldn't imagine being in that line of work today...not sure I could honestly put myself in front of a red hat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Damien said:
My daughter is only 15 and sometimes talks about 'when she has her own place' and I just laugh at her. Like.. girl.. you're not going anywhere. Not in this economy. So I, also, don't think I'll be getting any bedrooms back. At least not before I'm retired. (Retired? In THIS economy? Pfft.)

And dude - please feel free to autism all over this site. I can't imagine too many hardcore toy collectors AREN'T on the spectrum, so we all get it and appreciate it. Hell, can't think of a reason all these folks would be here if they DIDN'T want to read long-winded posts. Twitter exists if they want a couple sentences.

Also, severely ADHD myself (can you tell by the average word-count of my posts?) and probably AuDHD, but that wasn't really a diagnosis that existed on any level when I was diagnosed as a kid.
Click to expand...

Hahaha thank you, it's pretty cool to see a community where masking is discouraged. I spend a lot of my time irl apologizing for my autism "behaviors", it's nice to know this is a place that is accepting. Thank you. It's been hard to really open up about things over the years. We just started a YouTube channel a few weeks ago, reviewing & talking about things, Some of the vids have me on camera, and that has been really hard because I have tics that I'm self conscious of. And always worried about looking bad, or someone finding out I'm some big fraud lol I keep telling myself this is good for me, and eventually I might just believe it. Our worst-performing vids have been when it's just myself on camera, so that hasn't helped, but I'm sticking it out for now. The ones where we both are on screen have done ok, but I think that's because YouTube doesn't have many attractive women discussing toys so we are scratching an itch there lol

And yeah, with this economy, the kids are going nowhere. Considering I would prefer if both of them just became cat ladies and never worried about children of their own, maybe not leaving is a good thing lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Last edited:
AceofKnaves said:
I’m definitely out there on the autism/adhd spectrum, “diagnosed” as a “gifted kid” in the 80s and never revisited until I started getting rocked by trauma and various rough situations in my 30s. Had some pretty serious maladaptive coping mechanisms. Maybe someday I’ll go into some details about how messed up my mid-30s were and all the over-the-top and misconceived “treatments” that were applied to me, but for now suffice to say that the main reason I started on a track to become a psychotherapist was to try to help make it so that what happened to me in “treatment” NEVER happens to anyone else.
Click to expand...

You should start a thread about this in whatever forum is appropriate. I was recently diagnosed as level 1 autistic under the DSM-5 criteria, and I'm having a ton of trouble putting it into perspective. Everything I used to attribute to trying to act macho as my male role models did and to being an only child is suddenly autistic, and it's difficult to sort out--particularly since I have a step-cousin (no close genetic ties) who is level 3 autistic and I can't figure out how we're similar at all. What's RFK going to think when the current 1 in 66 diagnosis rate goes up to 1 in 20, or 1 in 10, or 1 in 3 as the diagnostic criteria continue to develop? IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!!! :rolleyes:

But Hans Asperger noticed something similar in broader swaths of the population to the autistic people who needed constant support, and I have no reason to doubt whatever it was he saw. I just don't get it yet.
 
RunestoneCowboy said:
I know self-diagnosing mental illness is pretty trendy at the moment, but I've started to wonder over the last few years if I might fall somewhere on the neurodivergent spectrum/graph/pie chart.
Click to expand...

There's a famous quote that made me think I was probably further down the spectrum than most when I first heard it back in 2015, but the part of it that boggles my mind is that wouldn't most people who pursue higher education also have a dash of autism?

quote-it-seems-that-for-success-in-science-or-art-a-dash-of-autism-is-essential-hans-asperger-54-63-24.jpg
 
Well, technically everyone should be on 'the spectrum', right? But yeah, I feel like the more I learn of it, the more I notice how many people I know fall into certain patterns and such. We were watching Love On The Spectrum and there is one woman who reminds me a lot of my mom, socially. I'm sure I fall in there myself since some of the things you guys are mentioning, I have 'oh, hey, me too' reactions.
 
AceofKnaves said:
Unfortunately, it’s important to remember that Hans Asperger was a Nazi, and a lot of his work was about figuring out who could “work” and who needed to be disposed of.
Click to expand...

Which is why they ditched him from the diagnosis name, but the DSM-5 still uses the results of his research. Asperger is the one who developed the autism spectrum.

I've looked at the Asperger Nazi allegations and been unable to find compelling proof of what he specifically participated in, but I also didn't look that long, maybe 20-30 minutes. Perhaps compelling evidence of his goals actually has been found.
 
Ru1977 said:
Well, technically everyone should be on 'the spectrum', right?
Click to expand...

The DSM-5 breaks the spectrum up into 3 levels with 3 requiring the most support and level 1 requiring the least. I've never felt much need for support, but the therapist who diagnosed me suggested that supports don't have to be other people doing things for you. She said any habits you've developed to compensate are a form of support. I studied Zen Buddhism for years to be able to clear irrational thoughts from my mind, and that's a clear form of support.

But I tend to agree--aren't all humans on level 1 of the spectrum? Maybe the diagnostic criteria will continue to develop and eventually be capable of diagnosing people barely down the spectrum, but maybe not. Until then the therapist who diagnosed me didn't view it that way and wouldn't place someone with a low number of diagnosed traits on the spectrum at all. So some people definitely envision a hidden level 0 that most people are on separate from those "on the spectrum."
 
I was late diagnosed both ADHD and later Autism in the past five years.

I'm very high functioning, but my research into it has just made so much sense of my life. Masking, what the hell? It works way too well.

I'm still learning, but it's great to learn how I can get by for my own sake.

I tell people up front, because I'm going to be verbose and literal and have questions. My therapist also says I have a strong Superhero complex, so there's the Justice.

The coolest thing IRL is realizing we can smell our own. And that narcissists are our natural prey and enemy.

Point being, I come here for the energy and word count. At least y'all are passionate about anything.
 
EnigmaticClarity said:
The DSM-5 breaks the spectrum up into 3 levels with 3 requiring the most support and level 1 requiring the least. I've never felt much need for support, but the therapist who diagnosed me suggested that supports don't have to be other people doing things for you. She said any habits you've developed to compensate are a form of support. I studied Zen Buddhism for years to be able to clear irrational thoughts from my mind, and that's a clear form of support.

But I tend to agree--aren't all humans on level 1 of the spectrum? Maybe the diagnostic criteria will continue to develop and eventually be capable of diagnosing people barely down the spectrum, but maybe not. Until then the therapist who diagnosed me didn't view it that way and wouldn't place someone with a low number of diagnosed traits on the spectrum at all. So some people definitely envision a hidden level 0 that most people are on separate from those "on the spectrum."
Click to expand...
Thank you for explaining that, no sarcasm. I didn't fully understand the spectrum.

Could habits developed to compensate include attempts at self medication? Meaning drinking or beyond?
 
Ru1977 said:
Could habits developed to compensate include attempts at self medication? Meaning drinking or beyond?
Click to expand...
Aheheheheh. Yes. Very much yes.

I started out specializing in addiction (still work that specialty) and I cannot stress enough how much substance use/abuse is a compensatory act.

NO ONE is “just” an addict.
 
Speaking of feeling apprehensive about selling off parts of our collections, I really do not want to sell my Transformers. Not because I don't want to lose them, but because the idea of transforming them for photos and shipping is a nightmare. Especially any movieverse figures. I guess if they're not worth enough I'd just sell them as-is, but dang if I don't regret buying a bunch of them for this reason.
 
vicious said:
Speaking of feeling apprehensive about selling off parts of our collections, I really do not want to sell my Transformers. Not because I don't want to lose them, but because the idea of transforming them for photos and shipping is a nightmare. Especially any movieverse figures. I guess if they're not worth enough I'd just sell them as-is, but dang if I don't regret buying a bunch of them for this reason.
Click to expand...

I just shoot the TF in whatever form they're in. For me it's Robot.

Just say the usual about condition and joints and completeness. I've never had push back.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top