Quitting/putting collecting on pause

[JakeEkiss]

Stormtroopers are a big weakness for me. And if it helps at all, there are only two SCAR guys so far, and they probably aren't too hard to find yet. The other two are pulse exclusives though.

Misty and Cav are sold out on Pulse so they'd be secondary market unless some drop when they come in. Kreel is still pretty easy to find but Mic isn't. I dunno. I could talk myself into them if I tried, I'm sure, but I don't think I actually need 'em. If that dream house came true, sure.

It's funny, I bet if I said the words "dream house" most folks would be thinking some minor mansion. I'm thinking like 1k square feet and a garage. That's my fortress of solitude wish.

 

[TheRealSmallville]

Right? Seems like most if not all here get it. I'm really glad we can all be open about it as well.

A toxic trait of mine, or...at least...I think it's considered a toxic trait...is every now and then, not often, but every now and then something will come up and we'll need cash for an emergency. Car repair, sudden unplanned tires, home furnace goes out, whatever. We'll be sitting around wondering how we're going to come up with the cash asap, all while UPS is dropping off a box at my door with a new acquisition in it. Now, I obviously ordered that thing before I knew this cash emergency would arise, and nobody could have guessed it. But I will still feel so guilty that I'll immediately drop into "must sell it all" mode. "Time to grow up" mode. "It's your fault we have to scrounge for this repair" mode.

Mrs. Smallville has never told me to sell something, but my brain immediately goes there because in many cases it would be a simple solution to the problem. Anyway, I'll just start doing it. She'll eventually notice that I'm taking pictures of something to sell, or she'll see me on ebay with it, and then we'll argue because the answer to the problem isn't to "destroy my hobby" or "get rid of everything." I don't need to punish myself because something unforeseen came up...but it's strangely something I jump to every time without meaning to. I'm told it's a trauma response to how my ex-wife approached situations and how I was made to feel guilty for wanting to things for myself. But it's a bitch, let me tell ya.

Anyway, I say all that to say that this group of people is awesome and I'm glad the Fwoosh forums died so we could all end up here lol

 

[Ru1977]

@TheRealSmallville yes, I can sympathize with all of that!

 

[Xavion2025]

@TheRealSmallville I remember a time when I had around $200 of discretionary money left over each paycheck after paying the bills and buying groceries. This was nearly 20 years ago, so a dollar went a lot further back then, but it was still only $200 for two weeks for everything other than the bills and the groceries. Any time unexpected repairs or expenses came up, it had to go on a credit card.

I still collected, but back then, you could pick up four Marvel Legends or DC Classics figures at Walmart or Target for under $50 after tax. Should I have put that $50 into savings instead? Probably. Over the course of a year, $50 per paycheck would have added up to $1,300 in savings.

I never felt guilty about it, though. Those years, while filled with a lot of love both for and from my wife and three children, were a pressure cooker. Collecting not only brought me a great deal of joy, but it kept me sane. From that standpoint, it was probably the brst $50 a paycheck I ever spent.

 

[joshsquash729]

Ya'll are speaking my language. Life has just been.... weird lately. Part of it is getting older, realizing the harsh truths of the world, etc. Part of it is the world at large, all that. Part of it is still overcoming all the lingering stuff from my past and all the lessons that taught me that may or may not apply anymore. I always go into damage control mode whenever anything happens- big or small. My immediate thought is how to fix it quickly and efficiently, and, being a collector, that's more often than not selling things. To relieve myself of the financial burden, whatever it may be, and the spacial burden. Sometimes, when my anxiety or depression is bad or the ADHD is just ADHD'ing, I feel overwhelmed by it all and regret ever getting myself in this deep. I have that want to just get rid of it all and start over. But then I think of all the joy it brought me and others over the years, and it feels worth it. Even if momentarily, it was worth it every time.

I've realized over the years that my mental state and the state of my apartment often mirror each other. So if one is bad, the other generally will be too. The best thing I can do is not to jump the gun. Things are rarely as bad as they seem- financially, in regards to space, whatever. The best thing I can do is just to take it slow- all of it. My impulses are so often fight or flight- whether it comes to money, space, what have you. Almost everything works itself out- or at least has the right solution make itself apparent- if I just take a moment to let things settle, take stock, and go from there. Selling- getting that quick, easy money- sometimes solves the immediate problem, and sometimes even brings with it some additional peace of mind, but not always. I've had one too many regrets over the years, to the point I've learned that what may seem to be "right" in the moment, may not be the "right" thing when all is said and done.

Go easy on yourself, friends. We all struggle, but we all get through it. Be kind to yourself- be patient, breathe, and yes- do nice things for yourself.

 

[TheSameIdiot]

Yeah, army building is the devil's work.

D Amazing was the one who hyped me up for? Really cool Battle Royale shots and displays. The reality is I don't really care about toy photography. I think it's a cool art form. But I just don't do it as much. And it's still a lot of setup and tear down, to take it back to Smallville's work and tired points.

So all right, so let's just have a cool display of Cap and a Widow beating up a bunch of Hydra. First off, that's a big footprint. It's always bigger than you think. Second, you really got to know your posing and your silhouettes and your angles because what looks cool from one side can look terrible everywhere else. And then who are you even doing that for. Are you trying to show off for your friends. Is it for you? Are you creating a favorite panel or something? What are you really going to get out of it besides having to dust something and readjust your footprint?

I went through this with SHIELD. HYDRA. Cobra. Stormtroopers. In the end it always sounds cool but it's not something that makes me happy. Especially when someone dominoes over in the formation, or you're posing a cool battle scene and then something topples over and undoes it all.

It's not for me, Jen.

This is such a great post.

In my ideal world, my collection has always looked like what you're describing. It's big battle scenes. A fight between Daredevil and Bullseye surrounded by 15 Hand ninjas. Spider-Man taking on the Sinister Six. Half a detolf dedicated to the X-Men destroying a Sentinel.

If I had infinite money and a full room dedicated to my collection, I could do it. It wouldn't even be that extravagant compared to some of the things I've seen. But it isn't reality. Reality is, I want the X-Men, Avengers, street-level characters, and their foes. I want a DC shelf, a video game shelf, a movie shelf, etc. I can't display all of those figures if I commit a tenth of my space to Daredevil and Bullseye. It's a choice between the X-Men standing shoulder to shoulder and a video game shelf or an incoherent fight scene where you can't even see half the team.

When push comes to shove, I would rather have my teams on display. As you mention, the battle scenes are finicky. If one falls, they all go down. They don't look as good from the side. My posing isn't half of D Amazing's. (I think I'm pretty good at not comparing myself to others, but that would bother me.)

Ultimately, I have the collection that works for me and my space. Not the me of my dreams, or the me of maybes, but the one I can actually accommodate.

If I somehow wind up with a room to fill, I can buy those Hand ninjas. For now, I'll admire the D Amazings of the world and appreciate what I have.

And with depression... I'm at a point now where if I want to sell some stuff, cool, or do a big purge.. feels healthy, but when my mind goes to "get rid of all of it!" I have to stop myself and really dwell on what's going on because it's a real indication I am spiraling.

Because of my family history with hoarding, my mind jumps to "get rid of it all!" more than I'd like. My best defense has been cutting it down to a reasonable size. Those alarm bells don't go off as often because I'm happy with what I have.

Would I like more? Sure. Who among us wouldn't? But again, it's about owning a collection I can accommodate.

 

[mrboshek]

I think it's fine to have figures stored in bins to revisit from time to time, but my rock bottom moment was when I had a room with a somewhat narrow path from the door to the window with the rest of the room filled with bins and boxes figures. The room isn't perfect, but I reclaimed almost all the floor and now I can walk over to a shelf and pull something down and put back.
I mentioned the Playmates Simpsons figures the other day. Remember the episode when Principal Skinner was buried under stacks of newspapers in his garage for a week and Bart was accused of murder. I could've been Skinner, but buried under action figures.

 

[TheGillMan]

And with depression... I'm at a point now where if I want to sell some stuff, cool, or do a big purge.. feels healthy, but when my mind goes to "get rid of all of it!" I have to stop myself and really dwell on what's going on because it's a real indication I am spiraling.

That's the key...knowing that those thoughts mean you're spiraling. A few times when I was younger I would have those moments and act on them, purging entire collections of not only figures, but also records, clothing, posters, comics, books, movies, etc. For a brief moment it would feel great, and I'd be glad to be unburdened....but a few months later it would hit me that I no longer owned something that I really wished I still had. Then comes the debate of "do I rebuy that, or just accept it's gone?". Learning that these are fleeting moments brought on by anxiety or depression has really helped me learn restraint. I'll still do a purge every now and then, but it is when I'm in a good headspace and can rationally decide on whether or not I will regret it later or not. I still have to resist the urge to burn it all to the ground every now and then though.

That's why we are here for you.

I love this community because of things like this.

A toxic trait of mine, or...at least...I think it's considered a toxic trait...is every now and then, not often, but every now and then something will come up and we'll need cash for an emergency. Car repair, sudden unplanned tires, home furnace goes out, whatever. We'll be sitting around wondering how we're going to come up with the cash asap, all while UPS is dropping off a box at my door with a new acquisition in it. Now, I obviously ordered that thing before I knew this cash emergency would arise, and nobody could have guessed it. But I will still feel so guilty that I'll immediately drop into "must sell it all" mode. "Time to grow up" mode. "It's your fault we have to scrounge for this repair" mode.

Oh man, I do this too. It's like you're in my head!

Mrs. Smallville has never told me to sell something, but my brain immediately goes there because in many cases it would be a simple solution to the problem. Anyway, I'll just start doing it. She'll eventually notice that I'm taking pictures of something to sell, or she'll see me on ebay with it, and then we'll argue because the answer to the problem isn't to "destroy my hobby" or "get rid of everything." I don't need to punish myself because something unforeseen came up...but it's strangely something I jump to every time without meaning to. I'm told it's a trauma response to how my ex-wife approached situations and how I was made to feel guilty for wanting to things for myself. But it's a bitch, let me tell ya.

Having a supportive partner makes SO much of a difference, for sure. I have the same trauma response, but mine comes from my mom who would purge things of mine without telling me and then make me feel guilty if I asked about why I was missing something (or gaslight me and tell me that I must have lost it). My s/o teases me sometimes about my collection, but when I start looking to purge things she approaches me from a very rational place. She doesn't tell me NOT to purge things, just to make sure I'm only getting rid of things that don't bring me joy.

Anyway, I say all that to say that this group of people is awesome and I'm glad the Fwoosh forums died so we could all end up here lol

Amen!

I think it's fine to have figures stored in bins to revisit from time to time, but my rock bottom moment was when I had a room with a somewhat narrow path from the door to the window with the rest of the room filled with bins and boxes figures. The room isn't perfect, but I reclaimed almost all the floor and now I can walk over to a shelf and pull something down and put back.
I mentioned the Playmates Simpsons figures the other day. Remember the episode when Principal Skinner was buried under stacks of newspapers in his garage for a week and Bart was accused of murder. I could've been Skinner, but buried under action figures.

I laughed out loud at this...because when I first saw that episode my first thought was "that will be me...but with action figures".

 

[TheRealSmallville]

It's nice to hear that others deal with the same "everything must go" impulse. Well, not "nice" that we have to deal with it in the first place, but "nice" in that it seems to be a common thing when times get a little crusty.

Typically, we budget very nicely (she's a collector as well) and things are very comfortable and collecting never gets in the way. We've never been any good at saving big amounts of cash, we have money in savings of course for rainy days but nothing like the whole "keep 3 months of income saved at all times" stuff the Dave Ramsey's of the world tell you to do. So on those rare occasions when an emergency comes up that we aren't budgeted for, it can really toss a wrench in and suddenly I'm spiraling again with only one way out, in my mind. And I'd rather sell off all of my things before she ever had to touch something of hers.

Lately, things have been much tighter since our contract at work was re-written and we lost so much of our income. Buying toys came to a standstill, but trying to adjust bills and outgoing cash to the much smaller incoming money has been a challenge, so back to selling I go. I've been selling off Hot Toys mostly, and also sold my Ecto-1 Haslab without ever getting to check it out. Sometimes you need the cash fast. I just keep telling myself that anything I'm selling that truly means something to me can be repurchased later after finances improve. The contract change without any notice or communication was quite a kick in the teeth so we've been in emergency mode since January.

 

[RicksNerdLife]

And with depression... I'm at a point now where if I want to sell some stuff, cool, or do a big purge.. feels healthy, but when my mind goes to "get rid of all of it!" I have to stop myself and really dwell on what's going on because it's a real indication I am spiraling.

I feel this so fucking much, I can't even tell you.

It's a level of nonsense that I have trouble verbalizing to my wife. I remember a time where she walked into my nerd room after one of these episodes and said "Whoa. Lot of empty shelves. What happened? You just...done?"

"No. Yes. I don't know".

It became a thing of "Well, if I'm selling X, I might as well sell Y. I loved this more than I loved that, so it's only fair if I sell this, then that has to go, too. I can't have this and feel balanced having that".

It was absurdity. It's always extremes. I either have too much, or I go balls out and drop EVERYTHING. I've really tried to discern what's absolutely necessary and keepers versus "Hey, that's cool".

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself "Hey, don't sell these. You'll want these later on and by then, it'll be too late and expensive". Or "Hey, squirrel that away in savings for something else, you'll lose money on that or won't want it after buying it".

And then it becomes a thing of "What is really going on here?"

 

[Ru1977]

Yes, I have very similar interactions with my wife and definitely go through the "if I get rid of this, I won't need that either" process. And yeah, really trying to break down what makes me happy and what is compulsive etc. That kinda stuff really weighs on me, but having shelves of figures that are simply neat and make me smile, fuck... That's where my focus needs to be. And if it stops making me smile, no big deal. Just sell it off. Served its purpose.

 

[TheRealSmallville]

It was absurdity. It's always extremes.

Y'know, I think this explains my feelings on it much better than either of the manuscripts I wrote above about it. Extremes. Yep, that's me. When something comes up, like a financial emergency, my mind goes straight to the utmost extreme solution because (to me) it's usually the fastest one. The one that will get that monkey off my back the quickest.

Which makes a lot of sense to think about, because even my purchases are extreme at times. Like, I'll start collecting Star Wars and I have to buy tons of it all at once for an instant (gratification) collection, instead of buying a piece here and a piece there. It makes sense that I'd do it the opposite way, too.

So, yeah. It's always extremes, 100%. Great post.

 

[RicksNerdLife]

Y'know, I think this explains my feelings on it much better than either of the manuscripts I wrote above about it. Extremes. Yep, that's me. When something comes up, like a financial emergency, my mind goes straight to the utmost extreme solution because (to me) it's usually the fastest one. The one that will get that monkey off my back the quickest.

Which makes a lot of sense to think about, because even my purchases are extreme at times. Like, I'll start collecting Star Wars and I have to buy tons of it all at once for an instant (gratification) collection, instead of buying a piece here and a piece there. It makes sense that I'd do it the opposite way, too.

So, yeah. It's always extremes, 100%. Great post.

Oh my gosh, yes. The decisions I make in the name of "emergency".

Case in point: I am a massive Resident Evil fan. I saved up the entire year from my 8th grade year going into my freshmen year of high school in order to buy myself a Playstation--simply because I saw the previews in a ToyFare magazine for Resident Evil. And that Toy Biz was going to make action figures.

And the hours I spent on that, and the second game. The times spent going to KayBee to find the TB figures. I had every single NECA and Palisades action figure.

I love the property so much that I got my sister obsessed with it. It's her favorite game series ever.

In a pinch about a decade ago now, where I was laid off from a seasonal job (in lawncare), I sold every bit of RE that I had. Every figure. And I gave that guy who bought them SUCH a deal. I regret it to this day, wish I never did it.

But again, at the time, rent was due...

Could I have figured something else out? Of course. But rash decisions...extremes. Ugh.

 

[joshsquash729]

Yeah, anymore, I just don't allow myself to make a decision right away. Unless someone is bleeding out in front of me, I give myself breathing room. I have to, otherwise, I'm the same- I'll just do everything quickly and hastily, and more often than not, even if it solves the problem, it wasn't the necessary solution. But I'm a creature of habit, try as I might, so if something works once, I'll probably just default to that again, even if it isn't the right thing.

When it comes to buying things, I try (keyword here- try) to give myself time. If I see it in store and there's only one, I'll keep it in my basket, walk around a bit, think on it until the initial excitement wears off, and then decide. If there's multiple, and it feels safe to leave it, I will. If I'm still dwelling on it a day or so later, then I'll go through the checklist- can I afford it? Do I have space? Etc. Me being me, I almost always justify it, but even those little barriers have helped immensely.

Same with selling. Is this something I'm going to miss? What's the market value on it now, and could it go up? Is there a better version coming out or likely? And also, most importantly- is the problem at hand- the reason I'm thinking of selling this thing- something that's going to solve itself without me selling this thing? Most of the time it is. Most of the time, I forgot about some sale I made a week or two ago and the money from that, or I remember what day it is and I'm about to get paid, etc. Or I check my account and lo and behold, I wasn't as irresponsible this month as it felt like. I also have to remind myself that I'm not where I was.

Growing up, there were many times when selling things was the only solution, so it's just what my brain automatically defaults to- it solved the problem then, so why wouldn't it now? And I think I'm at a place now where only thing that would really get me to abandon my newfound rules are if/when others are in need. I've sold things before to get money for a family member's medical bills or to help keep a friend afloat, and I don't regret it at all. But when it comes to my own issues, I almost always have regrets with selling, even if it was something just as serious. Weird how that works.