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JakeEkiss said:
Oh man, I've got one of those faces too. I worked night desk on a dorm for a while and the things some of those kids told me...
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Today a lady I never saw before was in my elevator with a big pizza. I was cordial as I got in and said it smelled good.

She said it was bacon and onion.

I said that sounds like a good dinner plan for me for later.

There's a beat. She turns to me. Like full quarter turn face.

"I just had a colonoscopy so I haven't eaten in 48 hours. I also got a lasagna."

She gestures to a bag.

I said, "Gotta reload I guess."

The fuck you telling me this for???

"Yeah. A whole dinner for two, I guess, or leftovers."

And I couldn't help my mouth and said, "Dinner for two sounds good, but butt stuff is a bit much for a first date."

She turned crimson and laughed but then I got out on my floor.
 
altcunningham said:
Today a lady I never saw before was in my elevator with a big pizza. I was cordial as I got in and said it smelled good.

She said it was bacon and onion.

I said that sounds like a good dinner plan for me for later.

There's a beat. She turns to me. Like full quarter turn face.

"I just had a colonoscopy so I haven't eaten in 48 hours. I also got a lasagna."

She gestures to a bag.

I said, "Gotta reload I guess."

The fuck you telling me this for???

"Yeah. A whole dinner for two, I guess, or leftovers."

And I couldn't help my mouth and said, "Dinner for two sounds good, but butt stuff is a bit much for a first date."

She turned crimson and laughed but then I got out on my floor.
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*slow clapping builds to an enthusiastic round of applause*

Well done!
 
altcunningham said:
Today a lady I never saw before was in my elevator with a big pizza. I was cordial as I got in and said it smelled good.

She said it was bacon and onion.

I said that sounds like a good dinner plan for me for later.

There's a beat. She turns to me. Like full quarter turn face.

"I just had a colonoscopy so I haven't eaten in 48 hours. I also got a lasagna."

She gestures to a bag.

I said, "Gotta reload I guess."

The fuck you telling me this for???

"Yeah. A whole dinner for two, I guess, or leftovers."

And I couldn't help my mouth and said, "Dinner for two sounds good, but butt stuff is a bit much for a first date."

She turned crimson and laughed but then I got out on my floor.
Click to expand...
Haven't slept well lately, so when you mentioned the bag, my tired mind went straight to a colostomy bag. Maybe I saw "colonoscopy" right above it and my brain combined the two. Either way, my next thought was "that's either a small lasagna or a big colostomy bag".

Regardless, 10/10 response. I miss the days when I would've been as bold. Might have even gone with her, just for the free food.

Let us know of any follow-ups to this meet-cute! Or the colonoscopy!
 
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