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They've got hundreds of green shirts and one very, very special red shirt.

It would almost make sense if they had a train to haul this behind. Instead it would either need trucked or airlifted in anywhere bumpier than a parking lot.

Cobra keeps dropping him off at the bus stop after, with a little "do better" note pinned to his whateverinthefuck he's wearing.

I love a dumb thing, but this is a bridge too far.

Do the Joes have a dedicated sniper spotter? That would be a great niche to slot into, if they wanted to keep him in the field. And yeah, that second profile image is abject hateration. He looks like a nervous Borrower stealing a flashlight.

That they had the gall to use strategic in the title is breathtaking. It makes that jump-scare battle toilet thing look subtle.

I'm assuming the portrait is based on Stephen King's son, which is probably why he's so baby faced. That they set him up with a non-combat role is cute, but he's super tough too, naturally. I joke but I'd snag him day one.

Do I want a figure of a Soft Pink Dad, with the powers of "hide and seek" and the strategic advantage you can only get by standing on small hill or box? A man who dresses like a superhero crossing guard? ...yeah.

I'm obsessed with Outback's expression, the indignation at being sat in this fuckass armored Victorian courting chair with Adam Sandler.

Orange is the new black, after all.

The way I am excited for Big Lob, it may not be healthy. ALSO NF Zartan- I've had the initial figure for years and he's... fine? I'd probably be happier with the exclusive or the retro, but the first Classified is so drab. NF Zartan is- provided the gods are VERY kind and I can actually...

I will definitely jump if they ever get around to another Serpentor release, I don't need his ride though. And I hope they completely start over with Chuckles, he's great but also pretty clunkily put together and not the most fun to pose.

I'm assuming it's only a matter of time- maybe that's where the bad headshot came from, as photo reference? The photographer says 'project steely resolve' and the first few came out more 'project the entire contents of your lower intestine'?

Must... resist... scary mutant bug snake dude.

Sure, my Desert Scorpion is lonely and the giant mutant hellbeast he came with isn't likely to be the fix.

"Of course I can't take a second picture, fuck you!"

I feel that very much, never was in a band but I was in choir and did musicals every year in high school. Now the idea of singing in front of anyone in a serious capacity is terrifying.

Riddled with crabs and on the prowl nursing home Shipwreck.

And blond wig saxophone shoulder pads Shipwreck, of course.

Intense PTSD mylar blanket Shipwreck.

I'm assuming they just list the whole shebang on their claims sheet and chuck them in the compactor.

All Shipwreck all the time. Weekend Shipwreck. In line at the DMV Shipwreck. Dockside bar Shipwreck.

Would that we all had a Walker, Texas Ranger lever in our homes.

Man, I wish my local Wally World's knew what clearance meant. I only want the cop for spare parts, but they'll be $35 until time itself curls up and dies.

Would you kindly stop bullying me into buying this caveman doll please?