Wrestling Toys (Mattel WWE, Jazwares AEW, etc.)

This is going to sound weird, but to me, toys are like...icons or totems, right? Maybe not that spiritual, these are still mass-produced sweatshop plastic, but if I'm buying a toy it's because however small or inconsequential it is, it's representing something that matters to me. I get why Hulk Hogan the concept and persona and the ideas red-and-yellow Hulkamania embodied were meaningful to someone at a formative age; wrestling heroes tend to signify a lot of bigger concepts and even as an adult I have a tendency to romanticize those things and surrounding myself with images of them. But when the person the persona is built on turns out to be shitty, it just ruins the entire thing for me. I can move on and find new favorites. The world's not short of wrestlers, and just because I have happy memories surrounding Chris Benoit matches doesn't mean I want anything to do with him now. Chris Benoit the wrestler and persona doesn't and can't mean the same thing to me that he did when I was in high school and Chris Benoit the person hadn't murdered anyone.

A thing about that: an old friend of mine from my hometown, he's a murderer now. Became a prison guard, beat a man to death alongside some other guards, tried to cover it up. He's not convicted yet, but based on the reported facts of the case and the rate at which the other involved guards who got tagged with much lesser charges have taken plea deals, I expect him to be spending the rest of his life in prison unless some serious blue line shit happens. And I obviously don't have any contact with him anymore, I'm not about to be offering him words of support. I may be baffled by the way his life turned out but I believe he's guilty and I can't justify to myself anything he did. So I'm sorry, but when I think about how easy it was to just sever ties with someone who's slept in my childhood bedroom and was at all my birthday parties and on my basketball team and is part of so many of my growing-up memories, I start to find it faintly ridiculous that someone would find it hard to toss away their good feelings about Hulk fuckin' Hogan.

That's my feeling on it. And I've tried to say a few times it's not that I think people that don't do that are BAD people. It's that I don't -understand- them. And neurodivergent me wants to understand everything, all the time, and will be relentless in trying to figure it out. It makes me quite a chore, I assume.
Outside of wrestling, I had a similar reaction to Cara Dune. I already owned the figure when it turned out she was crazy and shitty. I could have just left it there. Doesn't hurt anyone and no one is benefiting from the sale because it's been in my collection for a while. But every time I looked at the figure I was reminded of who that actor is in real life and I just couldn't have it. I couldn't just 'choose' to not be bothered by it, if that makes sense.

Sorry about your friend turning out to be shitty, swl. I've been in a somewhat similar position and even if it's easy to write them off, it's still something you feel. It hits different when it's someone you know well.

Hah, I know the feeling - my Benoit figures went right in the trash when that happened. Just felt, I don't know, tainted.

And I appreciate that. I tend to find it more mystifying than anything. It was already weird enough that he became a prison guard, he was always this lanky dude with fair, feminine features and he had to gas up like crazy to get in job shape for it. I guess I'm just kind of blown away that someone who I sort of internalized as a bit vulnerable apparently turned so hostile when given power over other people that he ended someone's life with that power. Like, I believe there's a place for people who do the difficult lifelong work of penance, but I can't even imagine where that would even begin when you've done the worst thing possible to someone who was forced to rely on you for safety. Based on everyone involved getting caught trying to put together a cover story (in public! In a diner!), I don't know that he's got the sense of guilt or accountability to ever get there.

That's nuts, man. As cliche as it is, it really does show how hard it is to ever truly know somebody.

The Mutant Module was also on clearance at Target, $20.

Taz: "What's the Mecha Drill doing driving through the AEW Arena!?"
Excalibur: "That's Jon Moxley!"
Tony Schiavone: "Whoa! Ha Ha!"
WWE was recently talking about some AI nonsense. I don't want to give Tony Kahn and Moxley any ideas, but...

"You think you’ve seen it all, don't you? You think you’ve seen every weapon, every trick, every drop of blood I’ve got to give. You’re standing there talking about 'work rate' and 'prestige,' while I’m standing in the dirt, breathing in the fumes of something that shouldn't even exist."

(Moxley slaps the side of the Module. The metal rings hollow and mean.)

"This isn't a car. It’s a statement. This is the Mutant Module. This is sixteen tons of 'I don't give a damn' on wheels. It’s got a drill on the front designed to chew through the bedrock of New York City, and tonight? Tonight, I’m using it to chew through you."

"See, I’m not just gonna wrestle you. I’m gonna hunt you. I’m gonna put my foot on the gas, engage the tectonic stabilizers, and I’m gonna drive this monstrosity right through the locker room wall. I’m gonna come up through the floorboards of the ring like a nightmare you can’t wake up from."

• The Drill: "That spinning chrome on the front? That’s for your ego. It’s gonna shred every plan you ever had."
• The Lasers: "I don't need 'em, but I might just fire 'em off anyway just to watch the look on your face when the world turns red."
• The Impact: "When this thing hits the ring post, the foundation of this entire building is gonna rattle. And while you're trying to find your footing, I'm stepping out of the hatch with a lead pipe and a chip on my shoulder."

(Moxley climbs up the side of the Module and drops into the cockpit. He looks directly into the lens, eyes wide and wild.)

"Tell your family you love 'em. Tell the promoter to have the paramedics on standby."

"Time to go to the underground. See ya in hell."

(Moxley slams the hatch shut. The massive drill on the front begins to spin with a deafening roar as the screen cuts to black.)

If he could find some way to make himself bloody using the thing, he would certainly use it.

SalemCrow said:

If he could find some way to make himself bloody using the thing, he would certainly use it.

Click to expand...

A Raiders homage to Indy vs the German Mechanic?

Okay... I've said before that Mox's very existence at this point makes me turn off the TV. But Mox driving a mutant module through a locker room wall would probably actually get me to tune in. And quite frankly, like you guys, I honestly believe that if he could do it, he would.

I was in the camp that thought he was the "cool" Shield member. This particular figure doesn't have the best likeness of Mox from their releases so far, but the price was right and he had an appropriately cringey "Death Jitsu" cloth shirt.

I'm probably fortunate, given the way his career went, that I was never a Mox fan anyway. I always thought he was trying way too hard to be the crazy tough guy. And that has not changed. Rollins was always my favorite Shield member. Loved him as Tyler Black, and his early stuff in NXT as well. In fact, he's still one of my favorite main roster guys.

Which, on that topic, I've still been unable to figure out which Rollins figure I want. I only want ONE, but he has so many amazingly ridiculous outfits nowadays. I keep saying I'm going to hold out until they change the lower legs they use for him because those skinny twig legs look ridiculous on him. They only used the correct proportions for him once, I think, on the NXT Champion figure they did. Okay.. maybe there's two figures I regret getting rid of.

Damien said:

I'm probably fortunate, given the way his career went, that I was never a Mox fan anyway. I always thought he was trying way too hard to be the crazy tough guy. And that has not changed. Rollins was always my favorite Shield member. Loved him as Tyler Black, and his early stuff in NXT as well. In fact, he's still one of my favorite main roster guys.

Which, on that topic, I've still been unable to figure out which Rollins figure I want. I only want ONE, but he has so many amazingly ridiculous outfits nowadays. I keep saying I'm going to hold out until they change the lower legs they use for him because those skinny twig legs look ridiculous on him. They only used the correct proportions for him once, I think, on the NXT Champion figure they did. Okay.. maybe there's two figures I regret getting rid of.

Click to expand...

This one comes with a fun coat: https://www.ringsidecollectibles.com/wwe-ultimate-edition-figures-seth-ult30-01.html

CTV said:

This one comes with a fun coat: https://www.ringsidecollectibles.com/wwe-ultimate-edition-figures-seth-ult30-01.html

Click to expand...

I do enjoy a fun coat. And Seth in red is pretty good. How are the newer Ultimates in terms of integrating the upgraded articulation? I think Razor, my only Ultimate so far, is pretty good. But then I look at like... Ultimate Shawn Michaels and he looks disjointed and fuckin' weird as shit.
I'm also looking at the Greatest Hits Seth, with the ridiculous robe, because he has that amazingly smarmy look on his face as one of the portraits and I love that.

Damien said:

I do enjoy a fun coat. And Seth in red is pretty good. How are the newer Ultimates in terms of integrating the upgraded articulation? I think Razor, my only Ultimate so far, is pretty good. But then I look at like... Ultimate Shawn Michaels and he looks disjointed and fuckin' weird as shit.
I'm also looking at the Greatest Hits Seth, with the ridiculous robe, because he has that amazingly smarmy look on his face as one of the portraits and I love that.

Click to expand...

I mean, it's Mattel. So, very much a mixed bag. I usually feel like you need to mix and match parts from Ultimate, Elite, and Basic figures to get a perfect representation of somebody. This is the Rollins I have, and I like it but I still pre-ordered the new Ultimate because it looks like an improvement and I like the red.

mrboshek said:

I was in the camp that thought he was the "cool" Shield member. This particular figure doesn't have the best likeness of Mox from their releases so far, but the price was right and he had an appropriately cringey "Death Jitsu" cloth shirt.

Click to expand...

I mean, you weren't wrong! He was the cool Shield member. Roman hadn't found himself yet and Rollins is forever terminally uncool and tryhard. Also Mox was the only one of the three who could cut a promo at the time. Even Mox's initial AEW stuff was good; that promo battle with Eddie Kingston ahead of their title match is still one of the best promo segments AEW's ever done. It's just a company where everything every major name wants to do gets an uncritical approval from the booker, so the stars end up trending towards their worst instincts because no one has an editor. The only thing AEW seemingly ever disapproves of is letting Mina Shirakawa seriously hold a title but I'm not bitter about it.

Welp. Gonna need this.

I still need to track down a Jazwares Okada.