G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Code Name: Darklon
File Name, [CLASSIFIED]
Primary Military Specialty: Mercenary
Secondary Military Specialty: Assault Vehicle Driver
Birthplace: Darklonia
Grade: N/A

Like many Cobra operatives, Darklon remains an unofficial/"unaffiliated" ally to the Rexford Lewis administration. Since Lewis took office, international relations between the U.S. and Darklonia have been close - the nations are sharing significant intelligence and the Lewis administration has been funneling money into Darklonia to help the nation put pressure on its neighboring countries. Darklon himself is only marginally involved in the day to day politics of the partnership - as Destro himself has noted, a great warlord does not often make a great political leader, and Darklon is far closer in his tactics and training to a pirate king than a prime minister. He remains a useful ally in a part of the world Lewis may want to leverage U.S. interests and thus, the president keeps Darklon close.

"Darklon is smarter than Lewis or the Joes give him credit for - his family is renowned for their pirates, their mercenaries... and their investment bankers. The man would rather wield a sword than a pen, but he is no barbarian. He has always been a closer ally to MARS and the Iron Grenadiers than to Cobra itself, but family only means so much to the man. He is ambitious, dangerous, and quite convinced he can either outsmart or outfight either side and come out on top. Both groups know this, however, and plan accordingly in what they let Darklon know, and how much they are willing to trust him."

One more:

Code Name: Cover Girl (DISAVOWED)
File Name, Krieger, Courtney A.
Primary Military Specialty: Armor
Secondary Military Specialty: AFV Mechanics
Birthplace: Peoria, Illinois
Grade: E-4

Subject accepted early retirement from the GI Joe Unit with her teammates. Considered a low-risk individual, standard surveillance was established, though an abnormal, and frankly undignified number of agents requested the duty. Krieger was offered several spokes-modeling roles upon returning to civilian life; she turned most down at the start but has instead started leveraging those opportunities to fund a modest chain of automobile repair shops in the Midwest and branching out into the Southwest as well. Krieger's activities required increased surveillance as she began to employ a number of ex-Joe team members with expertise in military vehicle repair and operation (again, an excess of agents requested this surveillance duty). We suspect she is still in contact with both Abernathy and Wilkinson, but have not obtained sufficient evidence for an arrest.

"She didn't want to go back to modeling. It wasn't that she had disdain for it or the profession; it's just that she worked so hard to be anything BUT a pretty face. But when those offers came rolling in she looked at me and said 'honey, there comes a time when you should just use what your momma gave you.' Her shops are constantly working to make sure Hawk and the others have access to the wheels they need to stay one step of Lewis and his goons, but man, sometimes I see her on TV and all I can think is: that gosh-dang goddess is my friend. And I worry about her all the time, because what she's doing is so high profile. She can't make a mistake. Or maybe that protects her? Because can you imagine what those websites would say if America's automotive sweetheart got arrested for sedition? There'd be fan websites saying 'Free Cover Girl' before you could refresh your browser."

Both are really great. Darklon is menacing even from someone's personnel -type description, and the foreign tyrant who is an ally to the domestic tyrant is of course awesome/awful.

And CoverGirl, is that Crankcase? And she is another great example of them going back to what they know but it's all a plot.

Yeah, that's Crankcase. I kind of see them as best buds. They just get each other.

I thought perhaps it was a now feminist Clutch being quoted.

An overdue one, for a favorite.

Code Name: Outback (DISAVOWED)
File Name, Selkirk, Stewart R.
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Military Specialty: Survival Training Instructor
Birthplace: Big Piney, Wyoming
Grade: E-5

Subject is one of the "lost Joes," team members who were in-country at the time the Lewis administration disbanded the GI Joe Unit and subsequently disappeared. Selkirk had been deployed alongside two other team members to work with insurgents in the sub-Antarctic island nation of Nama-Petgardi, an independent, resource-rich land mass Cobra had, prior to the election, made headway into conquering to use as a base of operations in the southern hemisphere. Documents show that Selkirk boarded the aircraft with his cohort to return to the U.S., but never arrived. The other Joes plead ignorance, with Lt. Falcon [see related file] stating: "I could've sworn he was right behind me when we boarded." Selkirk is considered AWOL. [REDACTED] has been contracted to locate him, if possible.

"Some guys just never want to go home. They're not made for four walls and streetlights and bedrooms. They belong out in the world. Outback is one of those guys. A city can't hold him. His heart's too big. Anyway, we got recalled after the election and were told no more help would be coming for Nama-Petgardi, that those boys were on their own. We didn't want to leave, but Outback says to us - 'if we all stay, they'll come for us. But nobody will ever look for me. And I'm not leaving these people to die.' But as far as the government is concerned, Outback got on that plane with us and disappeared somewhere over the Indian Ocean. That's the story we're sticking to, at least until we can get back there to help him."

Buzzer!

This makes me think I need to do the other 'noks soon.

docsilence said:

An overdue one, for a favorite.

Code Name: Outback (DISAVOWED)
File Name, Selkirk, Stewart R.
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Military Specialty: Survival Training Instructor
Birthplace: Big Piney, Wyoming
Grade: E-5

Subject is one of the "lost Joes," team members who were in-country at the time the Lewis administration disbanded the GI Joe Unit and subsequently disappeared. Selkirk had been deployed alongside two other team members to work with insurgents in the sub-Antarctic island nation of Nama-Petgardi, an independent, resource-rich land mass Cobra had, prior to the election, made headway into conquering to use as a base of operations in the southern hemisphere. Documents show that Selkirk boarded the aircraft with his cohort to return to the U.S., but never arrived. The other Joes plead ignorance, with Lt. Falcon [see related file] stating: "I could've sworn he was right behind me when we boarded." Selkirk is considered AWOL. [REDACTED] has been contracted to locate him, if possible.

"Some guys just never want to go home. They're not made for four walls and streetlights and bedrooms. They belong out in the world. Outback is one of those guys. A city can't hold him. His heart's too big. Anyway, we got recalled after the election and were told no more help would be coming for Nama-Petgardi, that those boys were on their own. We didn't want to leave, but Outback says to us - 'if we all stay, they'll come for us. But nobody will ever look for me. And I'm not leaving these people to die.' But as far as the government is concerned, Outback got on that plane with us and disappeared somewhere over the Indian Ocean. That's the story we're sticking to, at least until we can get back there to help him."

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THis was GREAT. Nice teases, along with one for Falcon! And I'm guessing the person sent after him will be coming soon as well!

Also is the commentary from Falcon? Or someone else from the same plane?

docsilence said:

This makes me think I need to do the other 'noks soon.

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You clearly have no shortage of characters to choose from! Well... I guess once you do another 150 of them, then yeah, you'll be reaching something of a shortage...

Ru1977 said:

THis was GREAT. Nice teases, along with one for Falcon! And I'm guessing the person sent after him will be coming soon as well!

Also is the commentary from Falcon? Or someone else from the same plane?

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Commentary is Falcon, yeah. Yet another character I want to take more seriously than previous media has in these file cards. (I'm debating who the third member of their expedition is, but I like how Falcon in his file card is someone who has the charisma and welcoming personality to work really well and build trust with insurgents.)

Also you send Falcon home to deal with the bullshit, and you leave Outback behind to stay and fight. It's a nice balance.

Man that is sound! And just confirmed those two were the same year! My suggestion for the third would be another from that year... Maybe Tunnel Rat?

Love that file card for Outback. Has some Rambo III vibes, too, which is very fitting for the Joe team's resident Rambo.

docsilence said:

This makes me think I need to do the other 'noks soon.

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Gnawgahyde, Gnawgahyde, Gnawgahyde!

docsilence said:

Commentary is Falcon, yeah. Yet another character I want to take more seriously than previous media has in these file cards. (I'm debating who the third member of their expedition is, but I like how Falcon in his file card is someone who has the charisma and welcoming personality to work really well and build trust with insurgents.)

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Someone like Tripwire, I feel like. If you're training insurgents, you've gotta have an explosives guy.

Gnawgahyde might be easier to write than Torch or Ripper - those two really work as part of a trio (unlike Buzzer, who has more werid backstory than the other two). It's easier to place Gnawgahyde independently in the world.

Tripwire or Tunnel Rat are both good options (explosives and Tunnel Rat basically being a classic sapper archetype, that's guerrilla warfare for sure). I was thinking of maybe someone in intelligence, too, but a boom guy makes more sense.

docsilence said:

Gnawgahyde might be easier to write than Torch or Ripper - those two really work as part of a trio (unlike Buzzer, who has more werid backstory than the other two). It's easier to place Gnawgahyde independently in the world.

Tripwire or Tunnel Rat are both good options (explosives and Tunnel Rat basically being a classic sapper archetype, that's guerrilla warfare for sure). I was thinking of maybe someone in intelligence, too, but a boom guy makes more sense.

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My understanding of US insurgent training programs is that usually the 'intelligence' people are there for our interests more than to train the insurgents, who probably already have a better network for intelligence-gathering than we'll ever have over there.
Also, I think Joe just doesn't have a lot of intelligence-forward characters. Scarlett, Chuckles....? Maybe you could argue the communications guys are also intelligence-adjacent - so Mainframe, Dial-Tone...?

If you want to go really wild, maybe the insurgents have an experimental weapons program and it was actually Flash or Sci-Fi over there teaching them to how modify, strip, and shoot lasers.