G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

Jeez. At least draw a picture of a dick or something!

Code Name: Scoop (Disavowed)
File Name: Michaels, Leonard
Primary Military Specialty: Journalist
Secondary Military Specialty: Microwave Transmission Specialist
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois
Grade: E-4

Subject has a combined background in both classic journalism and electrical engineering. Since joining the GI Joe unit, also obtained a masters in web design and became a specialist in social media and new media broadcasting. Retired from the Joes unit upon the election of Rexford Lewis. Founded an online multimedia platform. Subject was arrested for sedition promoting terrorism and is currently awaiting trial.

"Modern journalists have a bad reputation, and most of them deserve it, but Scoop? He's the real deal, man. There's a saying that just like when you're a veteran, you're always a veteran, that when you're a journalist, you're always a journalist. And Scoop is both. When Lewis took office Scoop wasted no time - he had a Youtube channel, he was on the TickerTocker, he was everywhere, exposing criminal behavior by the administration, shining a light on dark deeds. And this was all with a camera instead of a rifle. Dude has balls of iron. Of course that made him a target, and Cobra--I'm sorry, the 'US government' --arrested him taking video of Vipers abusing prisoners at an internment camp. Nobody's seen him in months. But Flint's got a plan and it involves some stolen attack choppers, a whole lot of explosives, and an I-12 short-barrel shotgun. We're getting Scoop out. We don't leave nobody behind. Even reporters."

Code Name: Snake Eyes (Disavowed)
File Name: CLASSIFIED
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Military Specialty: Hand-to-hand combat instructor
Birthplace: CLASSIFIED
Grade: E-5

Subject accepted voluntary retirement upon election of Rexford Lewis. A security detail was immediately assigned to him - his military training combined with his background in mystical martial arts have made him a singular threat. He currently receives a military pension and only withdraws funds every few weeks to purchase collectible spike-knuckle trench knives and dog treats. His whereabouts are assumed to be a cabin in Colorado, but he currently is entirely off the grid - no utilities are assigned to the property, and the site is owned outright by a holding company in this individual's name, which remains classified and somehow un-encryptable even to military personnel loyal to Lewis. By all accounts he has abandoned the world - we have reports of him hunting for food in the mountains with a semi-feral timber wolf with sporadic trips into the nearby town to pick up Amazon deliveries of various bladed weapons. Otherwise, the man is a ghost. Intelligence recommends the highest level of monitoring, but thus far he is essentially a phantom. [Personal note from [REDACTED]: God help us if Snake-Eyes ever decides to act. We should be grateful every day he has decided to abandon the world, because if he ever picks up arms against this administration, there will be a river of blood that will never be washed away.]

"Nobody knows what Snake Eyes is doing, but we know he's always where you need him. He's popped up out of nowhere to take the heads clean off a team of Alley Vipers that tried to arrest Rock n' Roll in South Beach. The murder of a team of Night Creepers found hanging by their ankles in Atlanta was allegedly him, too. At this point, every terrible thing that happens to Cobra is being pinned on him, like a bogeyman. 'Snake Eyes did it.' Except when they try to pin it on him, drone footage shows him playing fetch with Timber outside his cabin in Colorado. Even Hawk doesn't know how he does it. Tommy says he does, but he's not talking. But we all know he'll be there when we need him. Man, I've known that crazy bastard since we were together in 'nam. I know he's always hovering over our shoulders like some silent guardian angel. I swear, if I turned around fast enough, he'd be there, watching my back, like he always has. The goddamned madman."

Love them both but always have a soft spot for Snake Eyes. Don't care if he's too obvious to be a favorite; he is. I am glad you addressed the administration not being able to access his files, that was something I was really wondering about.

Ru1977 said:

Love them both but always have a soft spot for Snake Eyes. Don't care if he's too obvious to be a favorite; he is. I am glad you addressed the administration not being able to access his files, that was something I was really wondering about.

Click to expand...

Pretty sure Hawk's last act of defiance is nuking Snake Eyes' files.

Fuck yeah!

What's funny is how much I'm enjoying all this but nothing positive is happening... yet. just the certainty that capable people are moving into positions to take action.

Ru1977 said:

Fuck yeah!

What's funny is how much I'm enjoying all this but nothing positive is happening... yet. just the certainty that capable people are moving into positions to take action.

Click to expand...

In my head it's building toward action. Like this is the setup ofa very dark timeline our boys are about to change.

Yeah, it's clearly building toward that, which definitely gives a lot of hope.

(So maybe some of these are projecting.)

Codename: Crankcase (DISAVOWED)
File Name: Indiana, Elwood G.
Primary Specialty: Motor Vehicle Driver
Secondary Specialty: Armorer
Birthplace: Lawrence, Kansas
Rank: E-4

Subject accepted retirement upon dissolution of the GI Joe unit. Considered low-risk by intelligence agents. Concerns were raised when Indiana reconnected with several Joes from the motor vehicle teams after retirement; by all accounts, however, this group have simply pooled their resources to open a repair shop and garage. His most concerning behavior is dangerous high-speed car races on abandoned highways and deserted areas in the Mid-and Southwest. Gambling is rampant at these events, but strangely, the subject seems to take no interest in this aspect of the races. According to one intelligence agent: "Crankcase appears to just want to drive."

"Everyone thinks he's the angriest man alive. But I've known Elwood a long, long time, and honey, he's not angry. He's smart, and he's bored. If the world is moving too slowly around him he's stuck with nothing but the thoughts in his head, moving too fast to keep up with. That's why he drives the way he does. Out there on the open road, it's him, it's the wheels underneath him, it's that stick shift and that odometer and whatever the world throws in his way. He's a tragic figure. That poor man is trying to drive like hell away from himself."

Beautiful!

Codename: Footloose (DISAVOWED)
File Name: Meyers, Andrew D.
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Special Services (Basketball Coach)
Birthplace: Gary, Indiana
Rank: E-4

Subject was given an honorable discharge when the Lewis administration disbanded his unit. Unlike many of his brothers in arms, Meyers seemed earnestly confused. When asked about his discharge, he was quoted as saying: "I just figured out where I was supposed to be, man." On paper, subject was a success - valedictorian of his class, Eagle scout, but upon returning to civilian life, he only managed to hold a series of jobs briefly in the social services industry. Surveillance was formally dropped on him upon being discovered living in a polycule in Venice, California, working part time in a smoke shop. No longer considered a liability.

From Rock n Roll: "Couple of us found Andy having an existential crisis on Venice Beach, just sitting there in his army-issued camo pants rolled up to his knees with his feet in the water, a Hawaiian shirt unbuttoned and getting wet from the tide. I don't even think he was high, man... I think that great big void of 'what now' hit him between the eyes and sent him spinning. Anyway, I sat down next to him and said 'brother, we're getting the band back together. You want in?' Andy's always been that kid that never grew up, y'know? I said this to him and his face lit up. 'Been trying to find my way home, Rock.' he said, and that lost look disappeared..."

Wow, surprise Footloose file, but great ending!

If you've been following this thread, then you're very familiar with @docsilence and his really wonderful new take on the Joe filecards set in a reality where a fanatical leader who rules with an iron fist and may already be the most dangerous man alive has now won the presidency, and showcasing what happens to the Joe team members after. He started with the task force commander, Hawk:


After a lot of 'well, how about this?' thrown at him, I finally settled on this to represent the incredible work he's doing:

Love that you grabbed photos from when he was young and at the peak of his career for the imagery.

One more for tonight; thank you @docsilence for letting me play with your toys.