Official Articulated Thoughts Good News Thread

I was going to say, I never said all that. I just said we tried.

It's too much work. And I'm lazy. My favorite thing to do is sit. Add calisthenics to that? I'm out. Pass.

Lol, it is funny though after a certain amount of time together, it has become less of a priority for us. That's not to say that we don't crack cheeks. But it's just not as important to us as it was when we were 21, and vag was almost quite literally the only thing on my mind.

This took a turn, huh? 😆
 
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There's a give and take with everything. I came home tonight with Chinese food and beer and the girls are watching the Lindsay Lohan "new classic" Falling for Christmas.
 
I never wanted kids, either. My wife has always been open to it (FWIW, I'm like 98% no, while she's like 75% no). She has no interest in pregnancy, which basically means adoption or bust. (The ethics of adoption are their own can of worms.) We had an intense conversation about it right before we got married last year. It's one of those memories that will probably stick with me until I die.

Part of me reads a story from Damien or yojoe and thinks, "Hey, that might be nice." Then again, a month ago, we visited our friends who recently had their second kid. Their four-year-old was as wild as we've seen him, and it only got worse when some neighbor kids came over for an impromptu play date. Nothing says "birth control" like trying to maintain a conversation while three four-year-olds shriek, run, and climb all over you.
 
Talking with my brother at the family holiday pre-party tonight (yes, my family is so into Christmas we have a huge cousins and everyone else PRE-Christmas party a few weeks early). His daughter is a little over a year old. She's driving him nuts.

"Is she okay?"
"No. SHE'S EXACTLY LIKE ME. THAT"s THE PROBLEM."

I cannot WAIT to watch my baby brother navigate fatherhood. He's a great dad but also if your kid has all of your most antagonistic qualities...
 
I feel like I lucked out because my kids are pretty chill. One planned, one not, but that’s how it goes. My wife and I wanted two, but we would have spaced it out better if everything went according to plan. So I have a 10 and 9 year old and while there were some harder days, gross moments, for the most part they’ve been pretty easy. I can definitely relate to that talk of the dopamine hit that arises from getting them stuff. I took them to the toy store way too much when they were little or even just clothing stores because baby clothes are surprisingly fun things to buy. I’m thankful Toys R Us was still clinging to life when they were little for that reason. I’d just let my son roam there in awe of all the stuff. He always rewarded me by wanting to get the smallest, most insignificant thing he seemed to find like a keychain or a 2 dollar jack-o-lantern bucket. Now my kids are big kids and I miss the little guys they used to be. Having kids is having a person in your life that changes vastly from year to year which is something I never considered until I had kids of my own.
 
docsilence said:
He's a great dad but also if your kid has all of your most antagonistic qualities...
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So... you guys know how opinionated and aggressive I am, right?
That is my daughter. She will come home from school and spend a solid 40 minutes ranting about what a fucking idiot her classmate or a teacher is, citing examples and other relevant information like she's on the goddamn debate team and the devil told her she'd get a golden fiddle if she could prove that her teacher deserves to be walled up inside a basement until the bells stop.

This past Thursday, I think it was, she was going on about some kid at school she kept telling to shut up because they say aggressively stupid things during class that are not relevant or are completely wrong and kind of sick ("slavery was a good thing because it brought malnourished African people to a better country") and I told her to be careful how hard of a time she gives this kid or he's gonna snap and take a swing at her. My guys, her exact fucking response, VERBATIM:
"That's fine. I'll take my hoops out and that little motherfucker can catch these hands."

That's me! That little girl is ME and it's kind of terrifying when you see it from the outside.


One thing I'll say about having kids is somehow it's just not the same as being -around- kids. The emotional attachment is different. The way you get used to certain things or certain things stop bothering you is different. They're not things that can be explained but it's just a universe away from the experience of just being around someone else's kids, even if you're related to them. That being said, I also never want to be accused of encouraging people to have kids because NOT having kids is equally valid and has other, different, pros and cons. I don't think there's any inherent value in having kids like some people do. That whole 'it's the end game of any relationship' thing is bullshit.
 
Well I will certainly be in service of children today. I am appearing in full costume as Krampus at a block party organized by a high school buddy of mine for his and his neighbors’ kids, and now he wants to do a long-form improv where I answer questions “in character”. Ahhhh the things I do for kids.
 
AceofKnaves said:
Well I will certainly be in service of children today. I am appearing in full costume as Krampus at a block party organized by a high school buddy of mine for his and his neighbors’ kids, and now he wants to do a long-form improv where I answer questions “in character”. Ahhhh the things I do for kids.
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Okay. I'll be that guy. Pictures or it didn't happen. 😄
 
I’ll see what I can do! 🤣

It’s crazy though: I don’t usually do “holiday appearances” but this weekend I’m getting paid to play classic Christmas characters TWICE! Cratchit/Ghost of Christmas Future two days ago, Krampus today!
Hopefully this puts me on Santa’s good list. It will certainly pay for at least one of my ML Sentinels.
 
My cousin rented a Grinch costume for the holiday party yesterday, didn't warn anyone, and just ran in scooping up children. She traumatized an entire generation in about 46 seconds. My niece just went limp and let the Grinch carry her away so I told my sister she needs to put an AirTag on her daughter if they ever leave the house.
 
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