Official Articulated Thoughts Good News Thread

Red Ogre said:
She is quiet, and timid, and dislikes crowds.... Unless she has a camera in her hands. With a camera she gets real pushy and flits around the front row. She'd elbow a bride to get a good picture of the cake.
Click to expand...
Being the camera person lets shy folks open up a lot. I can't stand crowds but I've shot weddings, sport events, did real estate photography literally roaming around strangers' houses... it's such a great skill for someone who ordinarily doesn't like to have attention on them. (BTW it's not the most glamorous work but real estate photography can be super lucrative and they're always looking for folks who can do it if she's looking at things to do when she gets out of school. I stopped doing it like five years ago and I still have agents texting me.)
 
Red Ogre said:
She is quiet, and timid, and dislikes crowds.... Unless she has a camera in her hands. With a camera she gets real pushy and flits around the front row. She'd elbow a bride to get a good picture of the cake.
Click to expand...
Holy shit... I just realized I'm the same way! At gatherings or birthdays, if I'm the camera person, I do so much better. Never put that together until now...
 
So, here’s some good news:
I got low-key thrown into a dance number in the final show for my theatre company of the year (said show being a celebrity-tribute-style one-person-with-band show, so it was definitely not the plan for me to be involved), and that means I actually was in every single show put up by the company this year, which is SUPER FUCKING UNUSUAL regardless of talent and such. The boss of the company called this event out at our celebratory dinner, and when I said “aww but there’s no way that could ever happen again” he like got serious and was like “WHY NOT?” And then he kinda brought it up again later with his wife (who also runs the company) and was all “never say never!” And she asked what he was talking about I got brave and said “well if you are talking about next season, I’m already working my ass off on all the material for both shows” and he was like “GOOD”.
“The material” is a couple of really really REALLY great roles, like roles originally played by Mandy Patinkin and John Lithgow and shit, some incredible acting and amazing songs that are challenging in that good way and honestly incredibly epic. (It’s Lord Archibald Craven in The Secret Garden and Reverend Shaw Moore in Footloose, for those who know and/or care).
The day before the casting director had asked me about the parts in an “either or, which would you prefer” kind of way and I was all “ohhhh I’ll let you guys choose if choosing has to be done, but who’s to say I can’t play both?” And she was all “well, HIM” pointing to the Big Boss, but if said Big Boss is giving me the green light to go all-in for both . . well, I’m going to train my ass off for the next seven weeks and make it as impossible to say “no” to me as I possibly can.
Seriously: this is pretty huge. I’ve never been given such a direct “go for it!” before. I work incredibly hard for this company and totally take the roles they give me which are definitely not always leads and are sometimes brutally work-intensive and hard on my body (I do a LOT of fights and stunts and clowning and I am 47 years old so no matter how fit I am FUCKING OW), and I never reach for roles I can’t actually perform *well*. Both of these parts are really fucking good for me. I rarely get a shot like this, and I’m going to damn well take it. I’ve been working with this guy since 2011 and building trust that whole time, this company recently got a *lot* more leveled-up and has become the “hot” regional theatre in the area (or so I am told), I stayed with this all through when we were doing two-person musicals in the back room of an Italian restaurant when our venue got bulldozed for condos in the runoff after Covid. Psychology pays the big bills, but theatre is my passion and I get to do it with my wife and all these people who became my family over the years and THIS YEAR just might be MY YEAR.
Cross all the fingers, and I’ll be here singing to my action figures, and my cat, and anyone in the park where I work out because fuck it I am MANIFESTING.

. . . but now I have to go back to rehearsing the Christmas Carol radio drama I’m performing in on Friday, where I am the narrator, and also Bob Cratchit, and also the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, and even a couple more. An actor’s work is never done!
 
I finished watching the Star Wars original trilogy with my two girls, 8 and 5. This was their second viewing of the trilogy and it was done upon request. At no time do I push my nerdy 46 year old male likes upon my two girls, if they like what I like then great, if not, so be it. Well, in the case of Star Wars the OT, I think I have a winner. Both clapped last night at the end of ROTJ (their favorite of the three). My 5 year old was spontaneously reciting Leia's dialogue from her message to Obi-Wan from A New Hope, and my 8 year old asked my brother for Luke, Leia, and Darth Vader figures for Christmas (which I'm apprehensive about because I have plenty of SW figures and I'm happy to share). It warms my heart. :)
 
Having kids was never in the cards for us and I often joke that my friends with kids have never sold me on that being a bad thing, but I swear the only time I'm ever like "man, I missed out" is when I hear about stories like that because I don't think I would be able to wait for Xmas to give them their first Luke, Leia, and Vader. I probably would've been in the car headed to a toy store thirty seconds after they asked.
 
docsilence said:
Having kids was never in the cards for us and I often joke that my friends with kids have never sold me on that being a bad thing, but I swear the only time I'm ever like "man, I missed out" is when I hear about stories like that because I don't think I would be able to wait for Xmas to give them their first Luke, Leia, and Vader. I probably would've been in the car headed to a toy store thirty seconds after they asked.
Click to expand...
True story; many people with ADHD don't only get dopamine from buying themselves things, but from giving other people gifts. 'Getting a reaction' is a big ADHD thing in both directions. Which means I struggle a LOT not to just give my kids their gifts early every year because -I- want the dopamine from seeing them get excited.
 
Yeah, same. Medically speaking, nature decided for the wife and myself that kids weren't going to happen, after years of trying. My swimmers don't swim. Too many years of baseball, and too many hits below the belt with said baseballs, I suppose.

While there was initial devastation to this revelation, lots of tears, lots of holding each other up because we felt like failures as functioning members of society (I mean, that's what you do, right? Marriage, the dog, the cat, the white picket fence, the home, the kids)...

...we have actually grown to appreciate our lives, as a result. We are both very, I don't want to say irresponsible, because we are most certainly not...but...let's just say that we enjoy our freedom.

We have absolutely no schedule, our money is our money, we can be spontaneous and go on little day trips, or run out whenever we want. It's nice. Especially when we hear our friends who are parents explain their days, what with football practice, then soccer practice, then parent/teacher conferences, then the dance recital, then...

I'm good. I'll pass.

...but then...I read stories like the above, or we take a trip to the zoo, and I get really bummed for a moment. I would love to introduce new, fresh, innocent eyes to the things that I love, or relate to them when they discover something that I loved when I was their age. I fantasize about what our kid would be like. What they would look like. Hopefully more like her. I think about what kind of dad I would be, and how I feel that we missed out on being really awesome parents...

But then we hear one of those shrill, high pitched shrieks and we say "Oh, that's right, that's why. No thanks. Ew, kick it".
 
Last edited:
Yeah, it's a funny dichotomy. When I met my partner she almost caused a car crash because we were driving home one night early on in the relationsihp, on the highway, she asks if I want kids, I say "not really but I always like the Johnny Cash philosophy, I reserve the right to change my mind," and she says "good, because I was Born To Be A Mother" and that particular phrasing kicked off the sort of fight or flight reflex in my brain reserved for encountering a bear in the forest.

But anyway, fast forward 15 years, we wait a bit cos she's in crippling student loan debt (I bought our house by myself because it was better financially than having her loans factor into it, believe it or not), and then it turns out her entire family has this crazy genetic disorder, her sister was only able to have kids because she accidentally started her family at 19 (if she'd waited to 25 it wouldn't have happened), and we never really had the option in the first place.

But that sad story aside, at least once a week I'm talking with a friend telling me about getting puked on by a toddler or having to schedule rink time for hockey and I'm like goddamn, look at ALL THIS LUXURIOUS TIME I have for ME!!!!

But then my nephew texted me last night to ask if I'll teach him how to play D&D and I'm like Ah, so this is that instinct to preserve and bring joy to future generations all you crazy parents are talking about, I get it, yup. But I'll settle for being the cool uncle with the Action Figure Room who knows how to play D&D.

Damien said:
True story; many people with ADHD don't only get dopamine from buying themselves things, but from giving other people gifts. 'Getting a reaction' is a big ADHD thing in both directions. Which means I struggle a LOT not to just give my kids their gifts early every year because -I- want the dopamine from seeing them get excited.
Click to expand...
I know "love language" is new age-y bullshit but my favorite thing in the world is giving people stuff they will love. I'm randomly giving my brother one of the V4 Snake Eyes today ONLY because that was his version of the character as a kid and I'm like, for 25 bucks I can brighten his day and get myself a dopamine boost to go with it, yay!
 
Yeah.
My wife and I love kids and definitely would have had them . . . if we didn’t start dating until she was 39, married when she was 41. Like we thought about getting the try-train going, but she’s terrified of her body becoming a science experiment and/or dying/being physically destroyed by childbirth. If we *had* started trying, it would have been a “geriatric” pregnancy during high COVID. It just felt like too much of a risk.
Also: we are not wealthy *at all*, but my parents have money and literally said “we will fund your pregnancy quest” . . . which would have been an absolute devil’s bargain. My parents aren’t evil, per se, but they can be incredibly controlling, especially using money. My wife is a strong, independent small-town girl and she just couldn’t stomach our child not being “ours”, because trust: my folks would have strong opinions that they would exercise financially.
Soooo . . . doesn’t look like we are gonna get to have kids. My wife turns 50 next year, I turn 48 next month. It’s a bummer because I’m hella healthy and energetic and I work with kids all the time. But our lives are full and we are still struggling to get our own shit together and be stable.

I’ll tell ya, though:
My last serious relationship before my wife was heading towards marriage, rings and everything, until my ex accidentally got pregnant and had an abortion. Obviously I supported her decision 100%, but then she spiraled into a massive mental health crisis after the termination (which was totally unexpected because she didn’t even particularly want kids and was totally blasé about getting the procedure) and eventually she just wandered out of the relationship. I would absolutely not trade that relationship at its best for my marriage at its worst, no fucking way, but that “lost” child does haunt me. At the time, I didn’t think I was even close to “done” having chances and I certainly wouldn’t go back in time and pressure my ex to keep the baby, but yeah that’s pretty haunting.

. . . anyway that got a little dark, sorry.

I love hearing y’all’s stories about your kids.
 
Funny thing is that I never wanted kids. Ever. Not for a single moment in my life was I like 'that sounds like a good idea.' Or 'that's something I'd like to try.' Nope. I don't even like kids.

My wife was in a previous relationship where she'd been trying to have kids for a little while. Her doctor ended up telling her she wasn't capable of having children. She made her peace with that. They split up for totally unrelated reasons. And maybe two years later or something like that we got together. At that point she had created a new idea of what her life would be like and wasn't really interested in having kids.
Since she was medically unable to have children, we didn't use protection. Within about a month of sleeping together for the first time, she was pregnant. Not just pregnant but like... super pregnant. That line turned blue before she'd finished peeing.

Not to diminish how big that was for her - it was a seismic shift for me in what I thought my life would be and I was in shock for a little bit, for sure. We talked about it, went over the options. My wife and I are both pro-choice (obviously). I NEVER made any suggestions on what we should do. I just listened, mostly. I let her run over the three options we had and weigh them and I offered input where I felt it was appropriate, but I didn't lean in any direction or push her toward any direction. BUT, she knew I didn't want kids.

The relationship was still fairly new and it was actually a really difficult position (unlike the one that got us here, BADAFUCKINGBING!). This lady looked me in the eye and offered me the deal; she didn't want to give up the baby (via abortion or adoption), but she didn't want to trap me with a baby. She'd have the baby and I could pretend we never met. She'd never come looking for me and would just say she didn't know who the father was. It didn't have to be my responsibility if I wasn't going to have a choice in keeping it.

You watch a mother do a lot of selfless things, but she was willing to do it all alone right from the start. She's a tough lady.

Anyway... fuck that. I didn't plan for this, but if I walked away I would forever be the kind of guy that walks away from his responsibilities. From his child. It's so corny sounding, but I absolutely hated the idea of that guy. I still don't like kids. But I like my kids. It's the ultimate cliche', but there's something about a kid that's yours that is a feeling there just aren't words for. You cannot explain to someone how it feels to go from not-a-parent to a parent.

It sucks sometimes. It's so hard. These kids became my entire life with both the good and bad that implies. But I wouldn't go back in time and trade it for anything and that's a fact.
 
Damien said:
So far the two best feelings as a dad are when the kids discover they can do something without you, and when the kids discover they love something you love and it's genuine, not something you 'made' them be interested in.
Click to expand...
The 8 year old discovered that she could give the 5 year old a shoulder ride in place of me just this morning.

Yeah, I never had a desire to "make" them like any of my stuff. GI Joe is prominently displayed in my figure room but they gloss right over all of it. X-Men is also one of my big loves, they like Storm OK but beyond that they are indifferent. And that's all good. But seeing them genuinely like a property that I've always loved, seeing 6+ hours of those three movies hold their attention all the way through.....that's fun! (My 5 year old giggled uncontrollably whenever a stormtrooper crashed into a tree in the ROTJ speeder chase).
 
yojoebro82 said:
The 8 year old discovered that she could give the 5 year old a shoulder ride in place of me just this morning.

Yeah, I never had a desire to "make" them like any of my stuff. GI Joe is prominently displayed in my figure room but they gloss right over all of it. X-Men is also one of my big loves, they like Storm OK but beyond that they are indifferent. And that's all good. But seeing them genuinely like a property that I've always loved, seeing 6+ hours of those three movies hold their attention all the way through.....that's fun! (My 5 year old giggled uncontrollably whenever a stormtrooper crashed into a tree in the ROTJ speeder chase).
Click to expand...
I still remember my daughter coming to me like 'dad, have you heard of London After Midnight?!'
Oh, my sweet child, that is one of my favorite bands and we are about to go on a musical journey together.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top